The Frozen Desert by Moein Mansoori Fard (free e books to read online TXT) 📕

He stops talking and close his eyes, as though a bad moment is displayed in front of his eyes. When he opens his eyes, they are red.

I ask him:

What sort of shock?

He closes one of his eyes and after a short time says:

Her mother has died in front of her. She sat near her mom and cried for a day. When she was found, still was sitting and crying.

He bends over the chair to approach me and slowly says:

We don’t know anything about her father. She is consigned to me just for safekeeping.

Then he returns to his previous situation and says:

Before she comes here, she was so hermit. She didn’t deal with anyone except her dolls. But she has a strong and resistant personality.

Again, he gives me a weak smile, and says loudly, so that Nina could hear it:

By the way, did Nina entertain and receive you?

Nina, again, doesn’t reply. Karisan takes a biscuit off the tray:

Well, tell about yourself. How come that you have travelled this far here? I didn’t expect to see you here.

I eat the rest of my biscuit and clear the crumbs off my leg onto the ground:

I had no reason to stay there. Finally I should left there.

Why?

Repeating my thoughts associates the bitter memories:

I’ve come for my brother…

Karisan asks in wonder:

Mansidan?

I answer him with my silence. He asks:

Has something happened to Raya?

I lower my head and say with a deep breath:

She isn’t in a good state of health at all. Mansidan has to come back.

Karisan’s eyebrows become tangled. He closes his eyes and says:

If he tended to back, he wouldn’t ever go.

I want to find and take him back to Raya.

You waste your time on a wild goose chase. He has gone forever.

Do you have any news of him?

He went since that event occurred…I asked everyone about him…but no one has any news of him.

But I must find him.

He wouldn’t back.

I’ll talk to him, I’ll convince him to back. If he knows about the condition of Raya’s health, sure he’ll back. I messed up everything, I myself will fix it.

That wasn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself. No one is guilty.

I want to see Mansidan and tell him that I’ll do my best to everything will be ok again. Just if he comes back.

I lower my head lest Karisan sees my wet eyes. He says:

You shouldn’t beseech someone who has said no to everything.

My eyes are wetted by tears and I see the images unclear in front of me:

Raya is becoming paralyze completely. If he backs by my beseeching, sure I’ll beseech him.

Suddenly the table shakes. Karisan gnashes his teeth and looks at his fist which has pounded the table:

Damn. What was her guilt that he left her alone?

Silence prevails. Karisan’s anger along with his breathe comes out of his nose. I press my eyelids onto my eyes tightly to prevent my teardrops from falling.

Who takes care of Raya?

She doesn’t like to see anyone. Jalisa is looking after her.

What’s doctor’s recommendation?

He can’t do anything for her. He just says there is only one remedy: Mansidan backs to her.

Doctor Jaikan knows his job well. How do you want to find Mansidan?

Then Karisan takes a deep breath and stands up.

I planned to go to the “Hope” shelter to find you.

I put the letters on Karisan’s desk. He backs to his chair while asking with his eyes. He looks at the letters before opening them, as though the envelopes of the letters can show their inwards. He opens the bigger one and begins to read. While reading, the signs of anxiety appear on his face. He opens the second letter, and ponders while reading it. He walks across the room and says:

The first letter is from your father, I think you know its subject. The second one is…

He takes a deep breath:

There’s a problem. Maybe I’ll have to go to “Life” shelter.

Why you came here from “Hope” shelter?

Karisan backs to his chair and says:

I had to inspect the shelters. Although we had a problem, it may be a good news. A clue to Mansidan’s whereabouts.

Suddenly, my heartbeat tinkles on my head. I become such a shocked so that I just can open my mouth.

I don’t promise you but maybe you can find a clue.

I gulp my saliva and say:

What was the second letter about?

Maybe you meet some people. Perhaps they can help you. Just think is it worth?

This is my choice.

It may change your way of life entirely.

Whatever it may be, it would be better than this life.

Karisan presses his lips against each other and shakes his head:

Ok! Think about it once more till tomorrow. If you changed your idea, inform me.

I answer decisively:

No need to think. Ok, sure.

It’s enough. I can’t go on anymore, I am nearly pass out of restlessness. There are two beds in that room which one of them belongs to me and Nina.

Then stops me with his hand and asks me:

By the way…what’s up with “Life” shelter?

I made everything ok. Thanks for you respected my decision.

He shakes his head in token of regret:

A foolish decision! You were managing one of the large shelters, you were able to do that.

Many people deserve this more than I. Palisin is managing there very well. Just we should not leave him alone, because I think a riot is breaking out in that shelter.

So you should have stayed with him and helped him.

I give him a weak smile

Are you spoofing me?

Leave it, I respect your decision. Is there anything else you want to tell me?

Maybe you’d better to hear Rakovan’s talk.

He shrugs and says:

I heard his words. What’s your idea?

His words are thinkable.

Now he gives me a weak smile:

War means idiocy, but always such idiocies have changed our world.

So you’ve think about it?

Have you ever seen anybody who has never acted stupid even for one time?

I can’t make decision like you at all.

You oughtn’t, my way is completely different from yours.

We gaze at each other with smile for a while. I say:

Do you think if they capture the “Life” shelter then nobody can recapture this old castle? Once, an army attacked this castle by airplanes and tanks for three days but couldn’t destroy it.

That castle could avail six years ago.

It has a capacity of ten thousand people; a perfect town for the reds.

Let’s not exhaust ourselves, and leave this decision up to them.

Then he performs some stretching movement:

Nothing is as pleasant as sleep.

Then he stands up and calls Nina. All of a sudden the door opens and some people with agitated faces along with some patients, who hardly are standing on their feet, enter room. One of them who is breathless says:

I’m afraid nowhere is left unoccupied. Everywhere is occupied. I don’t know where to place the patients. The only place which is still empty is your room.

Then he becomes silent. Karisan says immediately:

Take two of them to that room and lay them on the bed, and rest of them here on the ground. Just lay the people whose conditions are critical on the bed. Take the chairs and put them aside for lying the rest till I bring my outfits. By the way, call Rakovan to come and help me.

Then he turns toward me and tells me with a wink:

It seems that I can’t be your host.

When I go to help, he finishes his talk:

See you later.

I want to stay and help but I know that I can’t do anything but bungle up the job. Karisan enters the next room and I go out soon. It seems that a new group is added to the shelter.

Suddenly I face with a large group of the people who have occupied the corridor up to the back of the counter for sleeping. All are searching for a place to sleep. I enter the crowd immediately. From the crowd which is streaming from the first floor to the ground floor, I realize that this floor is filled to capacity.

I look around to find a place to lie down. Suddenly a man gets up from his place and goes to another place, maybe because he is not so adapted to be near the window. I go there promptly. It is almost the same place that I was sitting on the chair.

Then I pull my pillow and a blanket out of my knapsack and spread a thin pad on the floor and lie on it. The ground absorbs all of my tiredness from my toes like a magnet. I feel calmness. The relaxation which saves me from everything and makes a feeling of flight. I stretch my muscles a little and then cover myself with a blanket.

The crowd goes from one side to the other side. My feet are trodden underfoot several times. Two persons fight for the place. A man is asleep on a chair beside the wall. A tumult rises. It is like a single voice is crying. Two people collide with each other and foods spill all over the ground, utter some curses to each other and then busy with gathering and cleaning the spilled foods. By another collide, a man loses his balance and falls on the ground.

These events attract my eyes continuously. Suddenly Nina appears among the crowd while holds a pillow and a small blanket in her hands. She seems is searching for someone or something. When she sees I am shaking my hand for her, falls down, pass through the crowd which jostles her, stops near me and gaze at me.

I tell her:

Look, do you want sleep beside me tonight? I think your daddy is a little busy.

She shakes her head as a sign of approval. I take my knapsack and put it on the other side. Then I spread here pad on the ground. She sits on her knees, put her blanket on the ground and busy with removing her shoes. After that, she lies and I spread the blanket on her. She hugs her doll and closes her eyes.

Would you like tell you a story.

She shakes her head as no.

Have you any friend?

She opens her eyes. A great sorrow surges all over her face. I look at the depth of her eyes. They transfer an unusual sense to me. She closes her eyes and her cheeks become loose.

Do you like the doll?

This time she shakes her head as yes, but she doesn’t open her eyes, neither tell something.

Would you like we play a game tomorrow? I’ll close my eyes and you’ll go and hide.

Again she shakes her head as a sign of approval but this time a little satisfaction appears on her lips. She opens and then close her eyes. When her face becomes alive and spirited, I tell her goodnight to have a sweet dream.

As a habit, I pull out the small hand-made box of my knapsack. Its appearance shows that the maker of the box have done their best to make it beautiful but they were a little unsuccessful. It has a door which is attached to the box with two hinges and one of them is faulty, so opening or closing its door is hard. Its lock becomes unlock with a little push and it needs no key. Its inner layers help to make its walls more beautiful. Its corners are shredded. A white color, which has been changed to gray by lapse of time, has become apparent because of shredded red layer.

A picture, a necklace and a ring with two parallel lozenge design, are inside the box; the only things my parents left for me. I wear the ring after a while looking at it. It fits my finger exactly. I take the picture and clean it with my sleeve.

This picture shows an old house in which a man and a woman are sitting near each other on a sofa and smile. Exactly on the middle of picture, a child is playing with toys in front them. The picture