The Frozen Desert by Moein Mansoori Fard (free e books to read online TXT) 📕

is torn exactly where the child is, and half the picture is lost. Only a part of another hand which is playing with toys as well, is apparent where the picture is cut. It should be Mansidan’s hand. I look at the picture with regret. For a few seconds I feel that I am living in that house and with my family. I am so fascinated with this picture that I can feel it as a live image in front of my eyes. Ah Mansidan, why you went and left us?

I gulp down my saliva and take a deep breath to control my feelings. I hold the necklace hanging in front of my face and swing it. It has a strange state. It differs from all the necklaces I have ever seen. There is a small square in the middle of necklace which none of its lines is straight.

It is exactly like a spider but because of its outward branches around it, looks very beautiful. The design on the square, has removed its grossness and deformity and has made the square the main and necessary part of the necklace. When I shake one of its branches on the right side, the square becomes open. No one can imagine that the square may open. There is a rather small picture inside the square which shows two friends of mine. How I missed them. I wish I could find them again. I wear the necklace. I should be carefree about the picture too. So I fold it in a plastic pocket and put it in my raincoat pocket. Suddenly I hear a voice is saying:

Sure they were so dear to you. So keep them as much as possible otherwise you’d be sighing all your life.

I turn my head and see an old man whose face is covered entirely with beard. He looks at the ceiling. At first, I think I am not his interlocutor, but when I realize the depth of his despair and regret in his words, it makes me sure.

The world isn’t faithful to anyone. Think about how you can compensate the past. Now that just this little girl is left for you, you better do your best for her, like if my wife and my daughter were alive I did so. This makes you happy to the end of your life.

I try to tell him that Nina is not my daughter but manage to do this just when he has gone. He seems to have suffered too much pain, hardship and loneliness, like me that I feel so after my father’s death.

I look at the Nina’s innocent face, which is like an angel, for the last time. I can’t even hear the sound of her breathing. I put my knapsack beside myself to be carefree about it. All of a sudden I see Karisan going toward the door.

The crowd is like a row of trees which are passing by in front of a high speed car and just once in a while it is possible to see the landscape behind them through the empty spaces between them, people deface the visibility as well; however, I can see Karisan like a picture. He stops near the door and I see that his lips move, as though he is talking with someone else, but I can’t see this one because of people’s come and go. Karisan smiles once in a while and sometimes his mouth remains open.

Their conversation lasts too long so that finally the numbers of people being reduced and I can see that man. Almost his back is toward me, but he turns his face once in a while. It is dark inside the shelter, yet thanks to the light of a candle which is over their head, I can see his profile. His face is familiar but I can’t place him. I have seen him somewhere, he is so familiar. Suddenly, through the light which radiates into my eyes, I see the color of his eyes. It is a dark blue which makes my brain to pull out his file from its dusty archive.

He is Nabidak, a member of “life expectancy” group, who I saw him a few days ago in “Hope” shelter. Like Karisan, he speaks for a while and then becomes silent. They shake hands after a while and Karisan opens the door for Nabidak. His blue eyes turns toward me and gaze at me for a short time before he goes out.

I think he was looking at somewhere else not at me, but after a little deliberation I make sure that he looked at me; Karisan doesn’t realize this and returns to his room. I hide my necklace under my clothes, try to make sure of my ring tightness and then close myself to Nina. The heavy eyelids don’t give me more chance, I look at Nina and when I see her calmness, I close my eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 7

 

 

The wounded

 

 

 

 

I wake up while I am panting. I use my hands to get up and sit while my hands hold and keep me in this situation like two pillars. The shelter calms me. After a sigh of relief, I wipe the sweat off my brow. I try to remember my dream, but I can’t remember any part of that. It is like I’ve just closed and opened my eyes. Nina is still asleep. I push my blanket aside and rub my eyes. The old man wakes up from his sleep once in a while, as though he sees nightmare.

I need to wash my face, so using the edge of the window, I pull myself up and get up. Suddenly I face with the mass of the people who are congregated near the entrance door and are whispering. It seems something happened outside the shelter which caused they come here. I make Nina’s blanket tidy and go to the toilet, which is not crowded, through the innumerable people who are in a deep sleep. I wash my face and see myself in the mirror for a while. I expect that my face tells something to me, but it is just the face as I see it. I take a deep breath and go out after a short time. There are still some people standing in front of the entrance of the shelter and are looking at the outside. The curiosity takes me there. I ask a slouchy old man who coughs once in a while, and has a military hat on his head:

 

What happened? Why people are looking outside?

The old man spins his hat to see me well. After a while, when it seems to him that I am a credible man, he answers me:

We heard a voice from the outside, some people went outside for the voice, because he asked for help. But they haven’t back yet. Nobody knows what has happened to them.

Let’s see, does Karisan know?

The old man frowns and says:

No, he’s a little busy, he couldn’t come.

I thank him and force my way through the crowd which is increasing and stop in front of the door. Just a small space in outside is lighted by the light which is radiated from inside the shelter. It is too dark outside the shelter. I step out as far as there is light and look around. There is still darkness and I can’t see anything.

All of a sudden I hear a voice begging help. I go toward the voice involuntarily. Thanks to the lights which radiate through the windows, I would not lost my way back to the shelter. But the strange thing which draws my interest is that all of the windows are open, while Karisan’s colleagues closed them yesterday. Maybe they have opened them when I was asleep.

I drive these thoughts out of my mind and just concentrate if I heard the voice again, find its direction. Through my sixth sense and the guess about its direction, I go straight forward slowly opposite the shelter. I can hear the people’s sound which is fading gradually and is changing to a terrible silence. I take the lighter out of my pocket and light it. Its light is enough and lights my way partly. Time passes and fear seizes me and makes me decide to back to the shelter. But again I hear that helpless moan from a rather short distance. So I pass through the darkness and go forward. It is like an inner inspiration shows the way and guides me.

Suddenly the lighter goes out and as much as I try I can’t light it again. So I put it in my pocket again. When I meet the absolute darkness the weakness and indolence penetrate me. I take some steps backward.

I look at the shelter. I am at a short distance from the shelter, but something makes me think about my decision. Maybe I would be able to save someone; this acts like a candle in a dark desert for me. I close my eyes, this makes me feel as if I am someone else. I take a step, and this leads me to take next steps. It is a rather unusual and is out of my knowledge, but I obey it and open my eyes.

I wink my eyelids repeatedly, but this makes no change. Again, I look at the shelter, it is still there. I hold my hand in front my face, but I can’t even see it. My fear increases momentarily. I take some steps warily and hear the sound of gritting gravels under my feet. Every a few steps, I turn and look at the shelter so that it is tied up with me. The gravels replace with the sands and then with dry soil. There is no air like the vacuum.

Suddenly the ground under my feet collapses and I fall into a sinkhole. When I open my eyes, I expect that all of these be a dream, but everywhere is still dark. I can see the moon from inside the sinkhole which is shining. I pause for a while, then shake my feet, my body and my hands to be sure they are well and healthy. I can move my fingers easily, and the more important, I can sit.

I give my neck massage for a while and think of the time I have been fainted here. I don’t know the exact time, but it has passed insomuch that my neck has become stiff because of being still. I get up hardly with the help of inner wall of the hole. I wish I had wings and could come out of the hole.

Again, I close my eyes to become calm a little but when I open my eyes, he is still here. He lay on the ground as I saw him in my dream last night. His eyes are hidden under his eyelids and are open just insomuch that he can only have a narrow sight. Yet, it seems he has used all of his force to do this.

As in my dream, his leg is broken and blood has covered all over his body. The same wounds suffused his body. I should help him, but I need help too. I approach him one step to inspect his situation, but suddenly his eyes become wide open as a spring. His look is toward the gun which is on the ground.

I cry several times and beg help but no one replies. I wait for a while, maybe a miracle occurs. But I can see the endless pain in his eyes, which are hidden under the shadow of the hole. His condition implies that he wouldn’t survive. Even if someone finds us, he wouldn’t survive. Now I realize why he points out the gun. I take the gun and aim at his head and…

Suddenly I wake up. I take a deep breath and rub my neck. I’m happy it was just a dream. All of the chairs and tables are arranging again.