The Easy Way to Handle Anxiety by Johnny Montoya (carter reed txt) 📕

Finally, when the evening is over and you're on your way out, confirm to yourself that you've had a good time. Do it all the way home. It can't be overdone.

I realise that meeting people in a place far from home is one of the most challenging situations for someone with anxiety. It has everything. Distance from home, friends and strangers, possibly a new environment, and expectations.

But I hope you can see now that if you put your mind to it, you can find lots of ways to be OK with all of that. Yes it will still be a challenge, but there is a way through the maze and as long as you keep focused and relaxed, you'll be fine.

If you can crack this challenge it's going to make everything else a lot easier by comparison. So don't be too quick to turn down an invitation because if you get through it, you'll feel great!

If you're particularly anxious about meeting people somewhere, who's to stop you from going there on your own a few hours or even the day before, and just take a look around? You should consider that.

Now that we've spent all this time talking about the various situations that you're likely to find yourself in most often, there's just one little issue that we haven't thought about: What if, after everything, you still feel anxious, or worse still, have a panic attack? What do you do then?

I'm glad you asked...

* Formulate an escape option by telling your friends that you may not be able to stay long.

* Give yourself something to do back home or on your way home in case you do feel unable to stay.

* Ask someone with a car to drive you home and to let you take refuge in their car if necessary.

* Designate a spokesperson to tell the others if you can't make it.

* Make sure you know how to get home by public transport, and order cabs throughout the night.

* If they serve drinks, call a friend and ask them to have one ready for you.

* To get into a confident, positive state of mind, eat well, drink water all day, do some light exercise, and be sure to look your best.

* Have a nice long nap before leaving, listen to relaxing music, and turn on a fan or open a window.

* Pop out for fresh air for 10 minutes, then go.

* Get there early and get comfortable, or arrive late to be greeted by everybody. Whatever makes you feel good. If you can, explore the place the day before.

* Find the toilets, splash water on your face, then sit near a window and the exit, or at least where you have some space around you.

* Feel free to walk around as often as you need to, including leaving as if you're going home, just to get some fresh air.

* Hang out with positive people that make you feel comfortable. Phase out negative people and situations.

* If it's a restaurant, order a starter and a drink, pay upfront, and pick at it slowly while focusing on conversation.

* During conversation, compliment and ingratiate yourself to others, talk about yourself in positive terms, and talk about positive things.

* If you want, talk about your anxiety lightheartedly. Allow others to poke fun at you, and take advantage of any encouragement.

* On your way home, create positive memories by focusing on everything that went well.

* Next time someone invites you somewhere, give yourself a chance and say yes!

Well, there you have it. We've looked at the most common situations and how to deal with them. But from time to time, it could still happen. You might have a panic attack or feel anxious. But don't worry, I've got that covered too.

You see, even if it does happen, there's nothing to stop you from minimising it. In fact, you can turn the whole thing around and feel great. Reducing anxiety feels good, but it's even better to know that you can handle it. And that's something to value and remember.

Have a look at all these methods and try them out. Use whichever ones you like, depending on how you feel at the time.

Breathe. Breathe in through your nose...gathering up all negativity inside you...then blow it all out. Get rid of it like you're taking out the trash. Disperse it, and watch it disappear.

Focus on the present moment. Slow down your movements, and be aware of everything that you're doing, and what's going on around you. Think of absolutely nothing but the exact moment you're in.

Robot mode. If you have things to do, do them systematically, calmly, and without pausing. Do one thing at a time. Don't get too precious about the order, just finish your tasks.

Stop, observe, and narrate. Stop thinking, observe yourself, and narrate what's going on inside you and around you. Talk yourself through whatever is happening. Just narrate, let that moment go, then move on to the next.

Split yourself in two.Stop being the experiencer for a while, and assume the role of observer. The observer is calm, uninvolved, and unaffected. Let the experiencer do whatever it will, and just pay attention. If you find yourself identifying with the experiencer, switch back to neutral observer. Don't make judgments, don't react emotionally, just watch.

Talk yourself through it. Describe what's going on, and how you feel. Keep it optimistic. Then listen back and give yourself a pat on the back. From time to time, especially when you're doubting yourself, listen back and see how well you did.

Pep talk preacher. Make a recording of you giving yourself a pep talk. Listen to it, and imagine that it's a preacher. Nod along, and in your mind say “oh yeah!”, “you know it!”, etc.

Read this book. Have this book on standby so that I can talk you through your situation. Just reading my words will help you. I'm not going anywhere!

Observe your surroundings. Watch people going about their business, and think about what they're doing and why. Make up stories about them. Eavesdrop on conversations. Pay attention to sights and sounds. Get totally absorbed in it all.

Mild fidgeting. Pretend that you had a thought and you're trying to remember what it was. Or you're undecided about something. Or you're looking for something and you have no idea where you put it. This is an excellent way to shift your focus. It's really hard to feel anything while you're doing it. It's quite funny too.

Get up, and move around a bit. Walk around. Go to another part of the room. Walk to another room. Pick up objects, move stuff around, look out the window. It's amazing how fast your mood can change just by shifting yourself physically.