Brain on Porn (Social #2) by DeYtH Banger (motivational books to read txt) 📕

in this form lets us know what we can expect. It speaks almost of a range of motion. A pendulum, unaffected by friction, will follow its predetermined path. We know just how far it will travel to either point in its arc before beginning its return. Predictability relies upon certainty and measurable outcomes. It has been a major tenet of our culture and our science since Newton introduced the motif of determinism in the 17th century. This range of predictable order is known as equilibrium.

In our lives, order suggests that we know the parameters of our experience, as though the boundaries and limits are determined in advance. The emotional and psychological highs and lows are familiar. The rules of relationship are understood. Knowing the range of our experiences provides a sense of order. As such, order creates a comfort zone as we can be assured of familiar terrain, even if that familiarity doesn’t serve us.

 

Chaos, on the other hand, suggests an absence of predictability. It triggers the unknown, which for most people is very problematic if not outright daunting. It is a venturing into uncertain territory, far from the familiar zone. Sometimes life’s transitions or crises present chaos in the form of illness, death, divorce, job loss, etc. These events are thrust upon us and we do the best we can to cope with them, aided by family and professional support. Occasionally, we buffer the roller coaster ride through chaos with alcohol, medication and/or therapy.

Sometimes, people seem to slip into personal chaos without any apparent reason. The struggle that ensues may feel like a crisis, as the familiar slips away and we try to avoid plunging into an abyss. But learning to navigate the chaos rather than shutting it down can provide rich rewards. The inclination to flee from chaos and return to order tends to stunt our growth, as it precludes vital new learning and experience. Although personal chaos can be very challenging and often feels threatening, the flip side is that it provides tremendous potential for personal evolution. Learning to accommodate the accompanying disquiet is the desired goal.

 

In science, what we refer to as order is known as a state of equilibrium, with its accompanying predictability. Yet, there are times when people move far from equilibrium and approach what we might refer to as chaos. In such a state a single small fluctuation can throw the person into chaos. In science this is known as a bifurcation point. This is a fancy term for the point of departure where we head into new territory. This is more commonly referred to as a tipping point. 

When Rosa Parks was too tired to give up her seat on the bus to a White man and remained in an area barred to African Americans, a tipping point ensued and the civil rights movement was catalyzed. When systems or organisms, including people, reach such a point, chaos ensues. Yet out of that chaos there is a spiraling up effect, which leads to a new and higher ordering. We move into a transformative process whereby we can evolve more thoroughly. In other words, chaos may lead to a deeper and more evolved state, which then evokes a new and higher order. It’s simply an engaging of process in which we let go of control. Think of this as a spiraling up in complexity, moving up the ladder of intellectual, emotional and spiritual growth.

One difficulty lays in the fact that we live with a cultural imperative (Newtonian mechanistic worldview) that values predictability and shuns if not outright disdains uncertainty, let alone chaos. Yet, without accepting some degree of chaos, our lives become programmed in a deterministic way that precludes growth. A question arose recently in one of my Emergent Thinking ® classes, which addressed this issue: Does personal transformation have to be catalyzed by some measure of crisis or struggle?

 

After a prolonged discussion we came to an understanding that ordinarily it does. As a therapist, I see my role in such circumstances as not automatically trying to restore order, but assisting as a guide through the chaos toward a new and more evolving experience. This is the new territory that I previously referred to. It’s a terrain of greater complexity and richness. Small or moderate doses of chaos can bring us to higher levels of personal evolution. I’m not speaking of uncontrolled chaos, which is anxietyproducing or worse. I’m proposing embracing a reasonable degree of uncertainty as the flow of life presents wonderful opportunities for our enrichment. Chaos is simply a word. We might do well to ask why we are so reactive to it.

To be continued..

 

 

 

Embrace The Chaos: How To Reduce Stress In 5 Easy Steps

 

 

 

 

Stress is one of the biggest causes of health problems in many people’s lives: it can cause heart disease, depression, anxiety attacks, sleep problems, auto-immune diseases, weight problems and more.

But we’re busy–how do we drop the stress levels down while still getting our jobs done, taking care of ourselves and our families?

The busy person might have no time for weeklong meditation retreats, mini-vacations, or weekly counseling sessions. So what can be done?

I’m going to be brief about this: there are five small things you can do. A few shifts in mindset, a couple actions that take only a couple minutes. These won’t solve the most severe stress problems, but they’ll help most of us.

 

1. BE COMPLETELY IN ONE TASK.

 

Instead of being in the stressful task-switching mode, take your next task, let everything else go, and just be in the moment with this one task. Let yourself be immersed in this one task, letting go of the feeling that you need to quickly rush through it, that you need to get on to the next task. There will always be a next task–the nature of task lists is that they’re neverending. So let those other tasks come later. Just be in this one task, like it’s your entire universe.

 

2. SEE YOUR IDEALS AND LET GO OF CONTROL.

 

Fear is causing you to be stressed, not external factors like your job or family problems. Those external things are just a part of life, but they become stressful when you fear failure, fear people won’t like you, fear you’re not good enough, fear abandonment, and so on. This fear is based on some ideal (and you fear not getting that ideal): you have an image that you’re going to succeed, be perfect, have people like you, be comfortable all the time. These ideals are a way to be in control of the world that you don’t actually control, but they’re hurting you by causing fear and stress. Instead, let go of control. Be OK with chaos and uncertainty, and trust that things will work out. You’ll fear less and be less stressed.

 

3. ACCEPT PEOPLE AND SMILE.

 

We get upset at other people because they don’t meet our ideals of how they should act. Instead, try accepting them for who they are, and recognizing that, like you, they’re imperfect and seeking happiness and struggling with finding happiness. They’re doing their best. Accept them, smile, and enjoy your time with this person.

 

4. TAKE A BRIEF WALK.

 

When things are getting stressful, take two to three minutes to take a walk and clear your mind. A short walk does wonders.

 

5. DO SHORT MINDFULNESS PRACTICES.

 

You don’t have to meditate for 30 minutes to get the benefits of mindfulness. You can do a quick body scan (see how your body is feeling right now) in 10 seconds. You can pay attention to your breath for 30 seconds. You can watch your thoughts, fears, ideals for a minute. You can walk mindfully, paying attention to your body, your feet, your breath, your surroundings, as you walk. You can do each of these kinds of mindfulness practices in little bits throughout your day.

And beyond: If you have extra time after doing those things, I have a few other recommendations that will help. Eliminate unnecessary tasks on your to-do list, reduce your commitments by saying no to people, start a regular 5-minute meditation practice, eat healthier, exercise regularly, spend some quality time with loved ones, get more sleep, drink tea.

I should note that many people cope with stress in unhealthy ways: alcohol, smoking, drugs, unhealthy eating, lashing out at people, watching TV, procrastinating. Ironically these cause more stress. Instead, learn to cope without these crutches.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 13 - Wow Effect

 It sucks seeing such a nation like "YOU" and "ME" to be closed in a 

 

 

 

...

This is so outcast and fucked up, once there... few days everything goes find... then weeks... and months comes which turn to years... once a year you catch... you start feeling in your gut

some anxiety. Which stops you from doing any type of activity... I was going to go to

 

 

 

But the weather turn bad.... so I am going to play on my computer

...

But today I saw the people which I hate aka bullies... better stay home

But today I am not really in the mood... that's why I gonna stay home aka lazy aka procrastination

But today isn't my day.... that's why I gonna be home and watch TV

...

 

 

ANd the reasons could continue

 

 

....

But this is not the only activity

 

you can be turning on the music

 

 

 

IN home and one moment... you got one gut feeling which tells you

 

"Now my neighbor is going to get angry."

"Now my neighbors are going to call the police.

"Now my neighbor/s is/are going to  see me as a strange kid/teenager/adult."

"Now.... my neighbor is going to laugh at me." - Strangely enough it sounds spooky!

 

 

 

 

It could be the porn (P.S.  - I study porn and the effects of pornography... so far my conclusions about this topic are that most of the pornographic material is forced orgasm... it goes few rounds... everyone in the videos seems to like it... and enjoy it and now comes the juicy part... is life all about SEX AND SEX AND SEX AND SEXX AND SEX And Masturbating and Masturbating and BLOWJOB?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 The problem of porn as the further study above and in the previous book said is that it causes anxiety it makes you expect something whole different level of shit... but in really life some of this shit... get lost behind the lines.

 

...

I am proud to say that I am free from pornography, If I can be free so do you...

 

The first move is from you... read this book and the privious one...

 

...

Slowly and focus... 

 

TURN OFF TV

TURN OFF PORNOGRAPHY

TURN OFF Games

 

...

Turn off everything which makes you to stop focusing on this book

 

...

The problem in porn is:

 

It starts making you feel that this whole topic about sex is sensitive It starts making you exhausted It causes anxiety It  makes you feel "And now what my neighbor is thinking about me." It makes you to get a private life and less social life It makes you feel that stay home and watching porn is cool shit It start makes you feel embarrased

 

 

Do you want that?

 

 

Do you want social barriers

 

 

 

A barrier which always stops you growing and doing stuff which you want

 

 

...

 

 

You could see that girl:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

- If your