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a new, more useful perspective than you had before is going to go a long way. However, it's just as important to know what you're dealing with, so let's take a close look at the reason for your anxiety.

 

Not knowing the cause of a problem is unsettling. It can make you feel incompetent, stupid and even guilty. But when you have clarity you know where you stand, you get a good idea of how to approach the problem, and you can tackle it.

 

Here we're going to pinpoint exactly what causes anxiety, why it does it, how it does it, how you inadvertently contribute to it, and what you can do to put a stop to it. After reading this chapter you'll understand why you've been having problems. There will be no more confusion.

Your friend, the culprit

Deep inside your brain there's a little area called the amygdala. The amygdala is there to help you when there's a threat. The way that it does this is to analyse sensory information about your surroundings, and your own thoughts and emotional state, to determine if you're in any danger.

 

Your amygdala doesn't think in the same way that you do. It just takes the information that's available to it, and then it does one of two things.

 

As long as it doesn't identify any of that information as a sign that there's a threat to you, it does nothing. But if anything gives it cause for concern, alarm bells go off and everything changes. You may have heard of the fight or flight response. Well, your amygdala is what causes it.

 

When you put your hand in fire or you see someone coming at you with a knife, the sensation of pain or the sight of the knife wielder, plus your desire to avoid being burned or stabbed, is enough to convince your amygdala that there's a threat. It then heightens your fear to keep you alert and motivate you to act, and it gives you adrenaline to enable you to do so quickly. At that point, one of 3 things will happen:

 

* You stand and fight the threatening thing

 

* You get the fuck out of there

 

* You do nothing

 

The amygdala isn't there to tell you how to respond. It just says β€œDanger! Do something! Here's some adrenaline! Go!” But it doesn't like indecision or inaction. If you do nothing, it increases the fear and adrenaline so that you'll act.

 

When it's all over, your amygdala stops the fight or flight response, makes a mental note of what happened, and calms down. But it's always lurking in the background, waiting, watching out for danger, like a powerful antivirus software. It's doing it right now as you read this. Your amygdala is your friend.

Fear, reality and imagination

Your amygdala helps you fight or avoid things that are usually a danger to us all. Things like bombs or approaching lions. But if, for whatever reason, you personally believe something to be dangerous, highly unpleasant, or otherwise to be avoided, your amygdala takes note. Then, if it ever gets sensory information, thoughts or emotions from you that indicate the presence of that thing, it triggers fight or flight. But your amygdala doesn't distinguish much between reality and imagination. Even if you think or worry about that thing, that's enough to trigger it, at least to an extent. It may even react to stuff that resembles that information, or has some association with it. Pretty clever, under normal circumstances at least.

 

If you have a phobia, think about it now and see how you feel. Isn't it funny how you can feel fear about something that isn't even there? That's your amygdala saying β€œDanger!” It's trying so hard to protect you that it takes very little to trigger it. Me personally, I've always had a huge phobia of an insect found in hot countries, whose name begins with C, has 2 syllables, 9 letters and ends with CH. It's so bad that just now when I looked it up to confirm if it really is an insect, I found it hard to even type it. And when it came up I saw pictures and I had to squint to avoid looking at them. I don't know why but I associate them with pure evil. Anyay I should stop talking about it. Ugh. Let's get back on topic.

 

Fear and panic is not only normal, it's necessary and useful to you. It helps you get out of trouble fast. Think about it, you have a little part of your brain dedicated to turning you into a fast acting danger fighter / avoider. Without it, you'd probably be dead by now. Your amygdala has saved your ass many times, so let's hear it for our amygdalas. Yeah!

 

Most people's amygdalas get it wrong on occasion, and that's normal too. But obviously for you it's a bit more problematic than that. The problem isn't a constant presence of real danger. I mean, it's not as if your life is filled with threats (and even if it was, you'd adapt). Nor is the problem a faulty fight or flight response. I'm sure you know that all too well.

 

So what's the problem? Why do you have recurrent anxiety?

What's up with your amygdala?

Amygdala: Hey! Danger!

 

 

You: Huh?

 

 

Amygdala: You're under threat! Come on, do something!

 

 

You: What are you talking about?

 

 

Amygdala: You mean you don't know?

 

 

You: I don't see anything! What's going on?

 

 

Amygdala: Well...erm...obviously something's going on, otherwise I wouldn't be warning you! Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

 

 

You: But what is it?

 

 

Amygdala: What is it? What's with the questions? Come on, we don't have time to waste. It's coming!

 

 

You: What's coming? Why are you making me feel scared? Why do I feel pumped up for no reason?

 

 

Amygdala: Look, if you don't act right now, I'll make you feel worse, if that's what it takes.

 

 

You: Why are you doing this to me? If there's a threat, why don't you know what it is?

 

 

Amygdala: Oh for crying out loud! Look, are you going to stay and fight, or are you going to run? It's up to you, but you need to make a choice. If you stay there and do nothing, I'll make this feeling worse until you DO SOMETHING!

 

 

You: But I told you, I don't see anything dangerous! And if anything is going to harm me, it's you! You're making me suffer and I don't even know what I'm supposed to be looking out for!

 

 

Amygdala: You think this is bad? How about now?

 

 

You: Aaargh! You're supposed to be on my side!

 

 

Amygdala: I am, I'm trying you help you! What do I have to do to make you do something?

 

 

You: Do what? I don't have a clue what I'm supposed to be dealing with!

 

 

Amygdala: What kind of a masochist are you? You're just making it worse for yourself!

 

 

You: Aaaaargh!

 

 

And there's the problem. Well meaning as it may be, your amygdala has turned a bit loopy. Let's take a closer look.

Panic

Your amygdala reacts to perceived threats extremely fast, and so it should. When you're busy doing whatever you're doing, you need something that's going to swoop in and put you in survival mode instantly, without you having to think. It's like being given a sword and a pair of rocket boots, and the choice to fight or run.

 

If you happen to agree that there's really a threat, and you see it, you go into action mode and you deal with it. You're too busy fighting or fleeing to worry about how fast it's all happening. It's only afterwards that it hits you just how suddenly you went from calm to intense. Although this can shake you up a bit, it usually subsides, and at least the whole event makes sense. You know why it happened and you get over it, because you have closure. In fact you're grateful to your amygdala, and to yourself.

 

But when you don't see a threat, you don't do anything. So you're standing there, with unwanted and unnecessary fear and adrenaline, and nothing to focus on. Your amygdala then makes things worse by screaming at you in disbelief that you're just standing there like an idiot, and gives you even more fear in the hope that you'll act. It thinks you're CRAZY! And it doesn't care that you're confused. It just wants you to act now! Your discomfort and increasing fear then makes your amygdala think that you're in even more danger, and so you end up with something like a feedback loop. If you put a microphone next to a speaker, the electrical signal from any sound that enters the mic will make its way to the speaker, get picked up by the mic again, and so on, until you get a screech.

 

The truth is that you're on the receiving end of your own power. It's like shooting yourself in the foot. You're feeling the full force of a mechanism that's meant to fight external things, not you. This can really shake you up. The suddenness and confusion is

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