How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #4) by DeYtH Banger (novels in english TXT) đź“•
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- Author: DeYtH Banger
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People who have trouble with no, love the boundary conversation- instead of looking at their struggle with no, they blame others for their bad boundaries. Taking a closer look at your relationship with No will help resolve your boundary issues. Here is my article No is a
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Have you ever heard any man ever talk about his boundaries? It cracks me up to imagine my husband telling a friend over a round of golf that a co-worker violated his boundaries. Men don’t have a use for the concept because they are super clear in their communication style.
As our culture continues to develop an ever more cautious relationship with direct communication, the boundary conversation gathers strength. It’s hard to stay close to your truth, let alone speak it when we all walk around worried about offending each other. Like good posture, honest communication immediately hooks us into power.
Here’s a great clip about being offended. I often hear people talk about being offended like they just got smacked across the face when nothing actually happened.
If a boundary makes us feel safe, then what are we afraid of to begin with? Is there a truth we want to avoid hearing?
Is the conjuring up of a boundary just another way to gain control in a passive-aggressive manner?
I now seek people out who can say it all, hear it all. Relationships founded on the permission to be authentic have an endless capacity. The more boundaries you have, the more you cap growth potential in all areas of your life.
One of my favorite people will tell me when my writing is off track. She’s a great writer, so it’s helpful. When she emails a comment in one sentence, I get a charge from the bluntness. Truth is not harmful; it’s clean and useful when it’s coming from a qualified source.
Use the concept of boundaries to expose your limitations before analyzing others.
Note: It Starts from scars... and let's choose to heal.
How to Overcome Your Scars
Scars are an inevitable part of the human experience.
Some are physical, incurred as a result of an inopportune fall off of a bike. Some are emotional, formed as a result of losing a loved one. Sometimes, they both exist in tandem, seemingly feeding off each other until it becomes impossible to judge which came first – the chicken or the egg?
If you could see my face right now as I write this, your eyes would be drawn to the large, red scar encompassing the right side of my upper lip. Or any of the other scars found on my chin, neck, and arms. All formed after coming into contact with a dangerous liquid substance (sulfuric acid), precariously stored in a box housed within a shed. The result? Spending my late teenage years recovering from second and third degree burns, a fate I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
As doctors did their best to sculpt my face, I soon discovered a simple truth. The invisible, emotional scars incurred as a result of this physical injury in some ways outweighed the scars I carry on my face. The marks I carry on the inside are hidden from public view; but, this reality does nothing to make them any less real. Medical professionals, eager to improve my physical appearance, spoke only of the damage to my face. Yet Isoon learned of the invisible changes doing much to chip away at both my emotional and spiritual health.
Choosing to Heal
We all incur both emotional and physical scars during our lifetimes, formed as a result of living in an imperfect world. These experiences leave small lacerations around our hearts, burdens we carry with us as we travel through life.
As a result, we have a choice to make. We can wallow in self-pity, allowing our scars to rule our very existence. We can avoid reminders of these marks, doing our best to ignore the pain inherent in our pasts. Or we can choose to heal by acknowledging the ways in which we were hurt, while working towards experiencing the freedom of a life lived in the present.
As my own journey unfolded, I soon realized the ways in which my scars dictated my existence. The ugly, red lines covering my face made me feel small. I focused on the ways in which I was less because of the accident endured. Feeling completely worthless, I started to wonder whether live was even worth living.
Until I made the choice to see myself outside of my scars. I started seeing life as an opportunity instead of a burden. I let go of the guilt experienced whenever I failed to live up to my own expectations and saw failure as an opportunity to grow.
“I should have gone to bed earlier,” became “I could have gone to bed earlier.”Simply refraining from using the word should helped imbue me with a sense of confidence. Instead of provoking a sense of guilt, missteps led to a sense of an opportunity lost. I could resolve to react differently the next time an opportunity presented itself to reach my goals.
You, too can Choose to Heal
We all have scars. Parts of ourselves we wish looked different, elements of our experience we wish could be erased. Yet the scars we carry offer an opportunity for victory, the spoils of which can truly last a lifetime.
When I graduated from high school, a family friend gave me a card in which she lauded the way I handled the injuries sustained on that fateful September day. I have never forgotten her closing line.
“You triumphed.”
Suddenly, my perspective shifted. Instead of focusing on the things adversity stole, I could shift my focus towards the ways in which I had gained.
None of this is to suggest that overcoming scars is ever easy. It takes hard work, dedication, and a willingness to get back up after falling down. My recovery is littered with plenty of mistakes, missteps, false victories – even searing loss. The journey ahead is a long one, with plenty of heartbreak along the way.
In spite of this stark reality, victory is within reach. The scars you carry may never disappear; but, they can recede, allowing you to catch a breath from the suffocating presence these marks often exude. Adversity presents the chance to indulge in moments of self-discovery. While it may seem hopeless, the manner in which adversity is handled will serve to inform the way the future unfolds. Your new life begins the moment you choose to heal. It starts with you.
6 Simple Tips Will Never Let You Down in Life
The art of living is a difficult skill to master. That’s why most of us turn to self-help books, spirituality, and self-enhancement practices to help guides through life. But what if you simplify your life by following bits of advice that are proven to be universally true? To help you out, we’ve collected 6 simple life-skill tips that everyone can use in their day-to-day living, and that definitely won’t result in disappointment. Make sure to consider each one and see the changes taking place.
1. Live a life true to yourself
Have you ever asked yourself what it means to become a mature person? Paying your bills and taking responsibility for your actions seems to be the universal answer to this question. However, true maturity comes when you finally start owning your life or, in other words, living a life true to yourself and not the one others expect that you should live. To do this, you first need to discover who you truly are. Once this happens, you’ll truly be able to live a life of authenticity. But remember, this type of growth takes a whole lifetime to master as explained by Diane Mottl, MSW in Psych Central.
2. Health should be your priority
Let’s face it, the stress of daily living means that most of us have compromised our health time and time again. From losing sleep, binge eating, chain smoking, to skipping doctor’s appointments, life stresses can make us do things that, over time, lead to poor health. Luckily, with most people, today having easy access tohealthy lifestyle information, Managing your health has never been easier. Take for instance these guidelines published in the Journal of Midwifery and Woman’s Health that emphasizes the importance of unsaturated fats, whole grains, taking multivitamin, folic acid and vitamin D supplements, and similar things as principles that are considered healthy for anyone and all life stages.
3. Learn how to forgive truly
Bearing grudges is bad for your health and destructive for your relationships. Furthermore, being unforgiving towards your shortcomings can suck the life out of you. Instead, learn how to accept yours and others’ shortcomings and your life will take on a whole new meaning. You’ll become more emphatic, and you’ll learn to love and accept yourself and others for who they are. This was proven to be true in a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The study found that forgiveness learning and accepting increased empathy for the offender and prevented unhealthy behavior such as avoidance and hostility.
4. Don’t take other’s opinions personally
This one is strongly linked to the first advice on authentic living as it requires a great deal of self-awareness to master. Most of us are guilty of building our self-esteem on others’ opinions, and this was even confirmed in a survey studypublished in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. The problem with this type of behavior is that other’s opinions of you are based on their internal values and views of how the world should be. If you base your self-esteem on what others think of you, your self-esteem will be at the mercy of those around you, and you’ll be less likely to get to know your true self – that part of you that you only have access to.
5. Don’t let money govern your life
In our modern-day capitalist societies, everyone gets caught up easily in the web of materialism. What is even worse is the fact that we’re all conditioned to believe that earning and spending more is somehow the goal of our existence. But once you snap out of this belief, you’ll be able to govern your money instead of the other way around. Just think about how you’ve based your life choices on money and how much stress thinking about money causes you. Truth be told, we need money to survive, but money is not all there is to life.
6. Know that happiness is a choice
Life is not easy for most of us, but that doesn’t mean that we should wallow in our misery. If you think about it, being happy doesn’t have anything to do with your life circumstances. Many well-off and privileged people are deeply unhappy while some less fortunate folks seem to enjoy life to the fullest. Happiness, after all, depends on your views and decisions. Make happiness your choice, and you’ll see it become a reality.
Conclusion
We all want to live a meaningful and joyous life, but this simple wish doesn’t come easily to most people. It takes a bit of effort and introspection to learn how to live a life of authenticity, meaning, and happiness. These 6 guides are rough outlines of some universal truths that we’re sure you’ll find useful in creating the life you want.
5 Techniques For Overcoming Procrastination
Do you want to know how to stop procrastinating? Well, for starters, you can stop reading this article right now and get back to work.
But since that’s probably not going to happen, let’s take a closer look at some strategies for overcoming procrastination.
There is no single “best way” to overcome procrastination
Personally, I’ve come to embrace my procrastinating nature to a certain degree. When my to-do list gets too long, I simply start a new one. And you know what? Most of the time, the tasks I thought I had to do turned out to be not so important after all.
Sometimes, procrastination can be a sign that
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