Lost by Tianna (carter reed txt) 📕

God wanted to punish me; now I am alone in this terrible world. My soul is searching for answers, only to be trapped in eternal darkness. I had a good life. Then, I did something unforgivable. I was given this horrible curse--this horrible gift to live forever, watching my family and friends--everyone I loved--die. The world cannot see me--I am invisible. No one can see or hear me, yet I am there, hopelessly watching everyone and everything die. Watching love fail, watching the world turn much worse than it was. The worst part is I can't do anything to stop it. I just have to watch it forever. My worst fear is to live forever, no one knowing of my existence, as everyone else dies. I don't even know the truth--I don't even know if this is real or if I'm making it all up in my head. I am lost and lonely; there's nothing I can do to change it. There's nothing I can do to make up for what I did. There's nothing I can do to rewrite the past. You can't negotiate with God--He knows everything--every intricate detail. I can only say I am sorry, but I know there are no excuses. I am meant to live in agony--to feel the pain and misery of life and death over and over again, feeling each dream as it is crushed, hearing the screams of the shattered hopes every single time--for every single person. This is like depression, but it's way worse. It's eternal punishment.

My worst fear is to live forever.

Publication Date: 08-07-2012

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