Laugh in the Rain by Riley Smith (early readers .txt) 📕

It was raining. Pouring. I have to admit, my dad didn’t look like such a complete idiot for building this giant boat, or whatever he called it, arc or something. So I bet those reading this are getting kinda confused. I should probably set the scene a lot better. Let me start at the beginning.
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I walked out of my house one day expecting to find my dad mowing the lawn, chatting with the neighbors, or, well, you know, anything that your normal dad in this country would do. This is just something that you come to expect from your parents, persistence.
Instead of doing anything normal or ordinary, I come outside to find him up on a ladder. My father is many things, helpful, kind, witty, but has never been great at anything that has to do with craftsmanship. I stand there, dazed, looking at the giant frame that he was building. What was I supposed to do?
“Whatcha makin’ up there, dad?”
“Oh, just an arc. God just told me that he is drowning the world in precisely two weeks, and I am to build it and collect every two of every animal on the planet so that after the whole ordeal is over, we’ll still have every single animal that we do now.”
I was becoming more shocked and confused by the minute! I mean, my entire family is atheist! And you have to remember that this is a giant boat. My dad is building a giant boat for a God that I didn’t even know that we believed in. What is the deal?
“Hey, will you please place the order in for all the animals in Africa and Australia? I think that they come in week and a half delivery, give or take a few days, so it would be good to order them now!”
What the heck is going on? Did he seriously think that you could
have wild animals delivered to your front door using Amazon.com or E-Bay? I think he’s gone nuts! But I go ahead and go inside and try anyways, because you can do a lot of thing illegally over the internet.
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So, after about two days, you can imagine that just about the entire neighborhood has noticed the weirdo building a giant boat, ordering every animal on the planet over the internet. Well, them and more, of course. The local news channel had done a story on it. That wouldn’t have been such a big deal until the internet, ah, the internet got a hold of the story. By the end of the fourth day, people were coming from near and far to watch the strange man build a large boat. They were all laughing and pointing, and using such gestures that made me feel sorry for my father.
Yet, I was even sorrier for myself and sister and mom. How big a scale can an average husband/father embarrass you? School wide at the dance? Town wide at the mall? But my dad had gone above and beyond all of that and disgraced our family on an international level. I would never forgive him for it. The sound of reporters banging on our door is endless; it is getting hard to sleep.
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Now, one week and three days into the madness, the boat is humongous! I think that the thing will collapse on itself when one of the elephants tries to go in. I cannot wait!
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So, now we’re back to the beginning. It’s pouring. All the people that had laughed at my dad are in about four feet of standing water. My little sister is on the floor throwing a fit.
“How could daddy forget the unicorns!!!?” she screams. I am sitting in the corner just puzzling over the madness of this week. I have to think about my life in the future. Are we the only family that god told to build an arc? Are we going to have to return every animal to its original home? More importantly, is it ever going to stop raining? I look up to the sky and just start to laugh, because, in life, sometimes that’s all you can do. Stand in the rain and laugh to the sky. Wow. I am completely crazy, but who cares any more. It’s just me, my family, and the rain.

Publication Date: 10-12-2009

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