So Far From Where I've Been by John Reeves (korean novels in english TXT) 📕

Not that the summer heat wasn't bad enough, thoughts of what had happened crossed my mind. Not that I could make heads or tails of it anyway but, Susan was still gone. There I was shoveling dirt on to freshly laid pipe for a new subdivision, it felt more like I was throwing my past into the hole. Like the small pieces of gravel in the bottom, my heart was shattered in little pieces. I wished I could just cover it up and forget about it like the gravel in the bottom of the hole.
I went to the bars, hell sometimes I'd stay until they closed the doors. There were about five of us who'd play poker on Friday nights, nothing I could do would erase the memory of where things had been, and where I'd ended up. There were plenty of females patrolling the bar waiting for a single guy to pickup on them. As beautiful as some of them were, they all seemed to fail in comparison to what had been mine. When I'd go home to the lonely walls of my own existence, it made it all the more obvious that I was alone.
I gave Susan the best years of my life, the years when a guy could enjoy being free. I gave those times to her because I truly believed she was the one for me. There were thoughtful things not typical of me, she brought that out of me. Knowing where I might end up emotionally was a horrible thought. She clearly had made the man I'd become. I really didn't know I'd end up like the rest of those guys. Part of me was determined not to allow that to happen. I had no intentions of ending up like them. As time would pass I took a better look at just what that was, and who they were.
I was as lonely as I had ever been, I guess I expected her to be the same way. Susan had moved on not thinking about the past, she had been introduced to a guy she liked, after a couple of dates the two of them fell in love. Sure I was jealous, but not for the obvious reason. I was more envious of the fact that Ben had Susan. The fact was I knew what he had, and she was an incredible person. I probably knew the day she walked out, I'd never find another person like her to spend my life with. After that I compared all my dates to her, which I'd later realize was a bad idea.
I'd sit there in the morning drinking my coffee as I listened to the news. I never drank coffee or watched the news back when I was with Susan. The mornings were always better than the nights when her side of the bed was empty. For the longest time I'd still keep the lid on the toilet down, some habits died harder than others. I missed holding her in my arms after we made passionate love. It seemed as if we'd become one soul, while entangled in the grips of passion. That was something I wasn't sure I'd ever feel again.


There had been roads I'd crossed to get to the place in my life, the place I refer to these days as content. I wanted to share my life with someone, however that isn't something you can force upon yourself or, others for that matter. There are things beyond our control, making someone love you, or making yourself love someone can be impossible if it's not there.
The rental agreement was up on my flat when I decided I was going to leave the area. It wasn't that I was a spontaneous person, it was more that I needed to get away from the past. Go somewhere that Susan would never be, or the friends that we'd known.
I packed everything into boxes putting them in the trunk of my car. I sold everything else to the guy next door for two hundred dollars. It seemed like slow motion when I left the bank with my savings in hand. The unknown had me concerned about my future, no job, no place to live, and nobody there that I know.
I just drove south for a day, before ultimately deciding to go to Florida. When I thought about where I really wanted to be the beach was at the forefront. I was getting close to the state line when I saw this homely looking diner on the side of the road, being right beside a gas station I decided to eat there.
When I went inside I sat at a booth, not sure why being alone but, never the less I did. There where three waitresses working the floor, I spotted one that was stunningly beautiful, part of me was hoping that I sat in the section she was working. As she walked closer I could tell she was coming to my table.
"I'm going to take your order since Alice is going on break."
I noticed her name tag said Victoria. I told her what I'd decided to have.
"The catfish dinner looks good to me." I closed the menu.
She smiled as she walked away with my order. When she came back to the table I engaged in smalltalk with her. Soon I told her how I was going somewhere new, I didn't tell her why but, there were things factoring in the decision that not even I knew at the time.
"I wish I could do something like that." She said.
"What is that?" I asked.
"Just get up and walk away from this." The look on her face said she hated her current situation.
"Well then come with me!" I said without thinking.
"I can't just walk out." She did look interested in the idea.
"Sure you can, just walk out those doors over there." I don't think I was pointing the right way but, she got the point.
When I stood up to go pay the check Victoria walked up to me without the apron on anymore.
"I'm going with you." She said.
I was wowed by her deciding to go with me. Different kinds of feelings ran through my mind, what kind of woman would leave with a guy she didn't know? She could be leaving with a murderer or a rapist, she had no idea. I had sold her on going with me, crazily the thought ran through my mind on how good a salesman I might have been.
"Lets pay this bill and get out of here." I took her by the hand as we walked to the front.
When we drove out of the parking lot there wasn't any conversation for a couple of minutes, that must have seemed like forever. Then the small talk began, "Is there anything you want to take with you?" I figured there must be.
When she said there wasn't I was shocked, but probably more convinced that she was running from something, using the offer I'd given her to get away. The truth is I started to think she might be a murderer, or holding some kind of dark secret. The more I sat there thinking about it, the more I wanted to put her out. When I looked over her captivating beauty didn't allow that to happen. She had this look of innocence, that wouldn't allow me to think she was capable of something evil.
As we were driving right beside the water, I looked over to tell her, but she'd fallen asleep reclined back in the seat. Seeing as we were by the ocean where I wanted to be I pulled over to a cozy looking hotel. There weren't many cars in the parking lot, there were vacancies as I thought there would be.
When I went inside I ordered a double bedded room, not sure of how she felt about sleeping with me. When we got into the room I turned the television on then sat on the bed.
"How do you like the room?" I asked Victoria.
"It's great I like it." She sat on the other bed.
I told her I needed a shower then exited the room. I didn't know what she was capable of doing, but the keys and money were in the bathroom with me. The hot shower felt great, some relief on my tight muscles in my back and shoulders.
When I got out she was gone and the door was wide open. The thought crossed my mind that she needed to go south, it seemed I'd gotten her close enough. Then when she came back in with the ice bucket, I felt horrible for assuming she'd fled the hotel.
"Sorry you had the key in the bathroom." Her voice was perky with a tone I found to be cute.
We took a walk on the beach where she told me why she was running. Her boyfriend was a drug dealer who'd been cheating on her, when she went to work that morning he'd not come home all night. When the morning came she took all the money out of the hiding spot he didn't know she knew about. It was never her intent to go back to him upon leaving the cafe that day.
I was shocked when she revealed to me there was just over ten thousand dollars on her. We sat there in the sand looking out at the sunset, as I put my arms around her.
"You don't have to worry anymore, he has no clue where you are." I hoped I was making her feel better.
She wanted to know why I was running, when I told her how similar our situations where it seemed to bring us closer, not physically as we were sitting real close together, it brought an understanding that seemed to relieve us both. There was something there that clearly hadn't been there before. For the first time we had some kind of connection, something that told us we weren't as crazy as we'd both appeared to be. As we held hands walking the beach it was like being in love for the first time.

We found are way to a little pub called Surfs Up. Six dollar pitchers and karaoke attracted us both to the idea. There were some college kids in the back, they liked the six dollar pitchers too. After we enjoyed a couple of pitchers of beer, I found myself up on the stage singing, I was having trouble seeing the words on the small screen, luckily I knew most of the words.
When we left the bar we'd both had a little too much to drink. I reached down grabbing her hand as we walked back to the hotel room. When we got in front of the pier I stopped walking, when Victoria turned to me I just wrapped my arms around her and, kissed her with the hope that she felt the same way as I