AFTER THE HEART IS BROKEN by JASON RONIN (best self help books to read .TXT) 📕

"Our people, once were warriors" Beth's words echoed in Jake the Muss Hekes head. Who the fuck she think she is, he thought.

He sat on the pavement outside McCluskey's bar, and watched her car lights vanish into the night, a night that had turned to horror and violence.

His Gracie had taken her life at the end of a rope while as it turned out he had partied with her tormentor, Uncle Bully who now lay on the floor of the bar, the victim of Jake's unleashed hatred and violence.

'"Fuck all this warrior bullshit"he screamed spittle flying,"Ma tana ka aha" Jakes face was a twisted mask.

It had been a good night, Jakey had been on good form and the piss was flowing like it was his birthday. Beth had arrived with Nig, his patch, the tribal tattoo covering his face, now irritating Jake.

Beth had given him Grace's notebook, the one she was always nose deep in, and all hell had broke loose, why couldn't she have waited, but that was Jake the Muss, only thought of himself.

Through his dim alcoholic haze he felt a tugging at his shoulder.

"Jake.......Jake.....C'mon get up bro" it was his friend Dooley.

"Hey Dooley, party at my place, chur" he slurred, looking up at Dooley through beer filled eyes.

" No bro, we gotta go,McCluskey's called the police" Dooley pulled Jake to his feet.

In the distance they could hear the sirens of the approaching Police cars.

Jake shook his head and tried to clear his vision, realising his friend was right although he knew no one would speak out against him, course they wouldn't every one loved Jakey, even beth would see he had been right and she would be back, then Jake would teach her a lesson oh yes, he might be a Pakeha not a full maori like that bitch and her high and mighty ways and talk of the Kaumatua shit, he deserved respect and he would get it if it killed her. Jake thought all this as he climbed to his feet, his six foot three muscular frame wobbling from side to side muscles tightening as he forced himself to stop.The tribal tattoos on his arms writhed like live things.


Beth pulled up outside their house in Pine block, the government housing estate. She held the steering wheel and just stared into the distance.

Nig turned to Boogie who had been released from the boys home for Grace's funeral.

"Get the kids inside eh, get them to bed"Nig lifted his chin as he said this,

Polly and Huata climbed out after Boogie, followed by Toot who was Gracie's friend and was now part of their family.

Nig turned to Beth after he had watched the kids go inside, her face was half in shadow, tense with the grief she felt.

" Grace would have been proud of you ma!" his voice was low.

" What, that her death caused more violence " she said " Its all any of you have ever known because of that black arse Heke "

" You found the strength to end it you showed Mana, pride! " Nig hung his head.

"Te reo Maori e mate te tengata maori e tino kino " nig said through clenched teeth,the rulers of this land wish you dead, the people of the land laugh at you.

" No Nig, no more violence, it ends here " beth said knowing what the old saying meant in gang parlance.

He looked at her.

" what you gonna do now? "

" Aunt Matawai said we could go live with her at the udo-pa" she replied " At least till we can get ourselves sorted." She looked at him, "What you gonna do?"

" Me, I be ok I got the Toa" he replied

She smiled at him, "My boy, my Nig all grown up now"

"Jake's always been a slave, to his fists, to the drink and to himself, well now he has no one and he won't even see it's all his fault"

"Fuck 'im " Nig spat out of the window "C'mon lets go check on the kids"


Jake opened his eyes then closed them again against the light streaming in through the window. He felt a dull throbbing deep inside his head. Sitting up he grabbed the bottle of Tui he had left last night and took a deep pull.Dooley had put him up last night and a few people had come back from McCluskey's to fill them in on what happened after they left.

Some unknown black arse had done bully before leaving, probably the husband of one of the putaikas bully had been doing. So with that news they had sang songs and drank piss untill they passed out.

Jake looked around at the mess from the night before, empty beer crates, empty beer bottles just like the empty lives they lived. Dooleys place was an exact carbon copy of Jakes home, just like all the others in this Government dumping ground that was pine block. Full of battered second hand furniture and threadbare carpets. The whole estate had a feeling of degradation and despair. All his life Jake had been party to this, his childhood had been full of the same.

Beaten at the hands of his father and mother, both alcoholics, till he was a teenager, he had grown in body and mind. Learning to survive on the streets from the best that Maori youth had to offer, till the fateful night his father raised his hand to him for the very last time, Jake vowed no more of this shit and he snapped, he put his father in the hospital with a pent up violence that had been gathering for years. He had left home that day to make his way in the world and now he could not even see he had become that which he hated.

Taking another pull from the bottle feeling the liquid gold swill down his throat he stood unsteadily and crossed to the window.Pulling aside the half curtain which was closed, the other half was ripped from the rail and lay half covering a sleeping party goer.

Jake looked out on Pine Block, they were all the same here Maoris spending a life less useful, dreaming of when they would make it out. Living from dole day to dole day. It came like a rallying call...I get me dole tomorrow bro, gonna get me some chinese, lots of chinese or maybe one ov them chooks from Dougal's, and some bread with lots of butter oh man that gonna be choice...an gonna have me a bet gonna win big...fuck the power bill, next week they can wait till next week...gonna go party at Mcklusky's too lots of piss, chur.

The money would be gone and another week of beg borrow or steal would begin.

The world came crashing in as a result of the memories from last nights events washed over the dim dashboard of his mind. The notebook, Beths smug look, Nigs Toa patch,the red mist rising, tables upturned, bottles smashing and beer splashing like Bullys blood as he twisted the broken bottle into Gracies abusers groin.Outside Beth calmly explaining it was all over, the new found strength in her features.

"Bethy" he whispered, hanging his head, crying silent tears.

the anger reemerged shrouding the memories like a twisted red rag, he turned and launched the bottle which crashed into the mirror on the opposite wall.

Bootsteps on the stairs...Dooley running into the room.

"what the fuc..." before he had finished the sentence Jake tore into him, left,right,left right. bone crushing punches finding their target finishing with a stamp to the knee. his freind lay crushed and defeated on the living room floor.

Dooley looked up at him, through the pain in his eyes jake saw pity and regret and that crushed him.

"Dooley bro I'm sorry, I just can't help it sometimes" he said "You know how I get"

Dooley coughed and lifted himself up " But you dont turn on your mates, get out go sort your life out bro "


© 2010 Ronin

Publication Date: 12-05-2010

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