My Sweet Kathy by Reggie McCann (the rosie project TXT) 📕

My Sweet Kathy

Chapter One


Sitting here on the floor, my back against the wall, I hold her in my arms. Oh, my God, she is so beautiful.

As I caress her hair of gold, I can’t help but notice her blue eyes are slightly closed now. I watch the rise and fall of her breasts, and it seems her breathing is beginning to slow even more.

I see the blood, grow heavier upon her lips. Leaning over, I gently place my own lips upon hers; tasting the iron, feeling the cold touch of the wet blood, which now coats them.

Placing my lips softly against her ear, I whisper, "I love you so much, Kathy."

I know the bullet has done its job well … that I'm watching, as she slips ever further beyond my reach. The pain I feel from the two that struck me is small and unimportant, compared with the unbearable pain of watching her disappear right before my eyes. There's nothing I can do except hold her close within my arms of love — to try and comfort her in these, her last few moments.

She fails in a valiant effort to raise her head and gasping, softly asks, "Sam, am I dy-dying?"

Her breathing is short now, yet, I'm startled, as she squeezes my hand with all of her strength.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. Yes, my heart. Yes, you are. We're both dying, my sweet love. There's only a few minutes left for each of us, now. I'm here, sweet Kathy. I'm right here beside you, holding you. Here I'll stay, until it's over for both of us. I promise you this, sweetheart....nothing shall make me leave your side."

Her beautiful head nods and I know she understands my words. The wonderful hair, which I've always found to be so sassy, falls across her face

. Gently, I brush it back from her eyes with my fingertips, even as my lips lower to kiss her one more precious time.

That gorgeous smile returns to her lips, as I lift mine from them—that delicious smile, with which she'd drawn me into her life the very first time I ever saw her.

When I see her smiling up at me, the first tears of the night rush into my eyes.

How strange that is. The most wonderful gift she has, that lovely smile, brought my first tear

and I know it really is going to be only the first. There are going to be many, many more, before this long and painful night ends for the two of us.

"We'll not be apart for long, precious lady. Then, once again, I’ll be standing right there beside you. When you reach that Heavenly place, will you....Kathy, will you wait for me there?"

Nodding with her remaining strength, she whispers, "Yes, Sam. I'll w-wait for you, my l-love. P-please, don't be long. I'm af-afraid. I don't wa-want to be a-alone."

“That’s why I will not leave this earth before you've already gone, Kathy. After your very last moment, you will see that I'm still here. I'll still be holding you close to me, still fighting off your fears. You'll not be alone, my precious lady. I’ll be right here with you. When your beautiful spirit leaves your body, my darling, you'll look down and you’ll see me sitting here, still clinging to you, just as I am this second.

When you see me sitting here holding you, that’s when you can reach your sweet hand out and touch my shoulder. That will allow me to close my eyes and finally rest. I'll be on my way to you.”

My heart is breaking, as her breathing suddenly becomes shallower. The flecks of sunlight, which were always captured within her eyes, are beginning to fade now. Her eyes, which always seemed to glisten with the life within her soul, slowly begin to change from their brilliant blue, into a duller gray. The glistening itself is beginning to disappear. It's just fading away, as the light within her sweet eyes creeps slowly, yet inevitably, behind the cloud forming from deep within them.

"Sam?" A whisper so soft, I’m not really sure I’ve actually heard her.

"Yes, my darling?"

"I w-would have made you h-happy, my love. I w-would have b-been a good w-wife to you, Sam. I'm so s-sorry, my d-darling."

I think I shall scream with the pain I am feeling this very second.

Not from the bullets ending my own life, but from the knife cutting so deeply into my heart from her sweet words. I want to die....right now

, even as she does.

"Kathy, you have

made me happy. I never enjoyed my life until you entered it. Nothing can ever take our time together away from me, away from us; the happiness you've given me lasted a lifetime. Thank you for choosing to love me above everybody else. May I ask you one final thing, my love?”

She is staring straight into my eyes, tears in the corners of both of hers, and she slowly nods.

“My sweet Kathy, If such a thing is allowed in Heaven, I was wondering....what I mean to say is....my love, if it's allowed, will you marry me when we get together up there? I've led a rough life, dear love. What if I'm not allowed to be up there with you? If that's the case, you go on, be happy and remember me."

She no longer has the strength or the breath to answer. She can manage only a slight, very weak, nod, as if she answered “Yes

.” Her gentle lips bend upwards with her marvelous smile, and she silently mouths four simple words, "I love you, Sam."

One long, last breath and then...then, her chest rises no more. It is still! Those wonderful eyes now stare, no longer seeing. They’ve begun the short march into what will become their final, fixed stare. The fierceness she grips my hand with slowly begins to ease, as her hand relaxes, becoming soft once more, as soft as it had been in her life.

She has slipped away from me. She is gone. My sweet Kathy is gone.

Oh, my Sweet God, please help me. I cannot take this pain anymore!

I can hear myself scream, yet, no sound escapes my mouth.

Huge sobs pour with pure force out of my lungs. I'm startled by the sheer violence of them. My shoulders shake so hard I think my ribs must surely break. I can only sit here now, holding her up close against my chest, trying to pull her body deep inside of mine; my face buried deeply in her lovely hair.

The pain of my own wounds is crushing my chest and I know my time is short.

It's true, what they say; you know — that thing about how your entire life flashes before you while death approaches — when the angel of death is riding his pale horse. Riding, on the way to his next conquest — riding, coming for you. I hear the racing horse and feel the shaking of the ground, as the Angel of Death comes for me!

Life-long memories begin coming rapidly to me now. Still, it takes my mind more than a few seconds, before I finally realize exactly what’s happening.

My name is Sam Bell. I arrived in Gonzales, Texas about a year ago. I'm twenty-two years old...

I shall never be twenty-three.

Chapter Two

I’ll never forget that day, so many years ago — unless it leaves me when I die. The day when the Yankees came to my home. We lived in Kansas, near the Missouri line, at the time. We'd been farming that land for years. It was just Ma, Pa, and me. We had a nice field of corn, a smaller field of peas and beans. We also grew onions and potatoes in several areas that were free of trees and other obstacles.

Didn't even plow the area, just planted it with some eyes from last year's crop. Mostly, we kept enough corn to make it through until next season and pa sold the rest. That money bought enough of everything we needed, with a few dollars left over. We ate all the peas and beans, ourselves.

It was quite a lot of work during, planting and harvesting times, but the rest of the time was ours. We made camping trips to the river where we caught plenty of fish to smoke and put up for the winter. After harvesting was over, me and pa would make several hunting trips in order to obtain plenty of venison along with other meat animals, so, we always had something to eat.

All that ended the day the Yankees came.

Early that morning, Pa was sending me into town to pick up some supplies. While I was hitching the mules up to the wagon, he’d come out to the barn and talked to me a little bit about Ma. She'd been feeling bad the last coupla days. In fact, it'd been days since she was last on her feet and outside, so, I was worried about her.

"Your ma don't feel much like getting up just yet, Son. She's still feeling real poorly again this morning. I think maybe you should stop by at Doc's office when you get into town, see if he might be able to get out this way sometime today. You know, just to check up on her. Could be, he can give her some kind of medicine. Whadda you think, boy?"

"Of course, I will, Pa. Pa? She’s gonna be alright, ain't she? I'm getting kinda concerned about her."

"Sure, she'll be up in a little bit. You know, she just hasn't been feeling all that good the last week or so and I don't know what's wrong." He began walking back towards the cabin, then stopped.

I'd already climbed onto the wagon and was starting to sit down when I noticed him turning back toward me.

He called out, "Say, by the way, Sam. You mind maybe picking me up some tobacco for the old pipe here, boy?" He held the pipe up, jabbing the air with it.

The sight of him looking like he was trying to stab houseflies with the stem of his pipe made me chuckle out loud. "I think I can handle that little chore. I’ll be sure and remember that for you. Since I’m gonna be there anyway, Pa, you think we need any more lamp oil? I noticed it wasn't on the list."

"Nah. We still got plenty for right now. Probably wouldn’t hurt if you picked up a box of them new kinda matches, though. That is, if they got ‘em."

When I was riding away, I looked back over my shoulder and saw him standing there, watching me. I raised my hand high in the air, waving to him. Waving back in my direction, he turned and began to walk up onto the porch.

That was the last time I saw my Pa, alive. Even now, with my life’s blood flowing out to cover this Café floor, I still give thanks to God, I’d taken the