Drudge by Jake Walker (story reading txt) 📕

tightened briefly; it filled with smoke and licks of it gave rise in the air. He held a heavy lungful, and then blew out. It looked like white exhaust. The mist billowed around us—a mystical cloud.
“We should’ve gone first,” Ian began, referring to himself and me, “You all had already started without us.” Nathan, handing off to Ashley, just smiled and shrugged. The girls laughed. They were giddy.
Everyone took their turn. I observed like a scientist as each person seemed to cherish the sacred bottle in their hands. I noted how cautiously and carefully they placed it to their lips. I analyzed how each held their breath upon inhale. I studied how the smoke would evacuate the mouth, and especially the nostrils. Like a bull.
It was my go. I was a little antsy. I rubbed my palms together anxiously, as if I were about to partake of a savory dish. I took it in my hands like a baby, admiring the light that bounced off its transparent surface. The bowl was still going I saw; the herb glowed furiously red. I took it to my lips and—
“Hey! What’s going on?” Marcus burst through the door. “The hell? You all started without me!”
“Hey, dude,” Ian greeted, ”Nathan and the girls started without us; we’re just trying to catch up.”
Marcus was carrying a twelve pack under his arm. He casually tossed us each a beer, sat down, said, “Alright, it’s my turn.” He took the sacred relic out of my hands before I could get a turn, leaving me to only look down at my now empty palm and grieve over the innocence that’s been betrayed. I’ve never met him before but he seemed more antagonistic than the others, as if it were his life’s mission to let everyone know that he was a force to be reckoned with. Maybe he was, but Ian comes on strong, too. I was sure we’d warm up to each other eventually. Young, impressionable and naïve minds always have the annoying tendency to cling to notions of peace.
Ian, who I noticed was starting to sort of reel from the hit he took, called to Marcus, “Hey asshole, this is Vance.”

I tipped a friendly nod, and did nothing else. Marcus stared at me longer than what was appropriate, pointed towards the unopened beer in my hands, said, “You’re welcome.”
“He seems nice,” I whispered to Ian. He chortled. Katie, who overheard, did as well. Marcus was too involved with having his mouth locked around the bottle to even notice the laughs.
Finally was I given the bottle. It was warm, and the smoke dense. I set aflame the pot up top and leaned in to kiss the hole. The smell. Ah, the smell. The air was thick with it already, but never was it as pungent as it was now. The whiffs of aroma I got from the teasing, romantic ringlets of fume led me to recall in my mind something akin to cinnamon, or perhaps cumin. Turmeric? Actually, I must confess now that it is a smell unlike any other. A satisfying stench, though it forces its way in. Your olfactory senses don’t stand a chance, and they are left to suffocate in the hazy calm and peace.
Smell aside, I gulped in a choking hit that immediately burned the uvula, and felt like a brick as it banged and bashed its way into my lungs. I couldn’t contain it. I coughed. I heaved. I threw myself into convulsions, seeking relief from the weighty take. Were I not so preoccupied by my coughing fit, I might have found a more strategic place to aim my hacks, but lost in the burn as I was, I coughed directly at the bowl, sending the pot airborne to become cinders floating downwards.
“What the hell, man? Damn!” Marcus was pissed.
I barely managed to sputter, “I’m (hack) I’m (cough) I’m sorry.”
“The hell you are, dumbass!” Marcus snatched the bottle and threw it to Nathan, “Pack another and see to it this dude knows what he’s doing next time!” The others were holding their sides from uncontrollable fits of laughter. Katie opened my beer for me, telling me it would help. I sipped the beer idly (my second drink ever), alleviating my throat, taken immense pleasure from the feeling that began to envelop me.
Whilst everyone else fell into their respective conversations on life and other obscure topics, as potheads are wont to do, I sat back, analyzing with scientific scrutiny the effects of this drug on thought, feeling and perception. What I first observed was how seamlessly it took hold of me. There is no definite point where you know you’re high. It’s subtle—gradual—and before you know it, time is slowed and what were once forgettable details take on a whole new significance. It was a great sensation. It opened your eyes. Thoughts were clear, spirited, and seemed to amass the whole brain, where sober thoughts were just singular, and failing that, ill-defined and obscure.
The night went on, everyone still hitting the peace bottle. I became entirely spirit. I felt my body had completely melted into the couch, and that I had taken on the form of an apparition. During my expedition into the spiritual realm, I still vaguely perceived snippets of dialogue and scenes of the physical reality that surrounded me. It was very murky, as if I heard and saw everything through standing water. Some of my fellow countrymen and women had gotten up, mingling amongst themselves, walking around, drinking more beer, and talking on topics innumerable.
“What’s up with your bro, Ian?”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s so quiet. He’s just sitting there, smiling at us.”
“Yeah, well, I suppose he’s adjusting.”
“He hasn’t even really tried talking to anybody. Is he always like this?”
A laugh. “Shallow waters.”
“Shallow waters?”
“Yeah, shallow waters.”
The voices became a swirl of echoes.
Some time had passed, but I couldn’t say how much. Ian had tapped me back into a fully aware state of consciousness. “Vance!” He yelled. One more tap on the head for me to be responsive, “Vance!”
“Wha-what?” I noticed that Ian had placed a cigarette on my lips and had lit it. I was thankful for that. I had also caught quick sight of quite the spectacle taking place on the table. Everybody had broke out the coke that Marcus apparently had, and were taking turns with the lines, passing off a cut plastic straw to do the deed. “What’s going on? What time is it?”
“Nothing. Hey, listen. I didn’t know if you wanted to take part in this or not, but my dealer called telling me about a smorgasbord downtown. You in?” Lauren was clinging awkwardly close to Ian, kissing and nibbling his ear and neck. The scene was distracting. It was hard to pay attention.
“Soo…what’s going on downtown?”
He gave a look tinged slightly with impatience. He turned to Lauren and pushed her away. She immediately came back (What was up with her? I thought. She hadn’t said a word all night, only hung at Ian’s arm like a doting subject), “Dude, while you were staring at the wall laughing, I got a call from my dealer downtown. They’re all having a free for all down there for some reason. He asked us if we would like to partake. I said I’d think about it. What do you say?” He made sure to say each word slower than normal, enunciating everything exactly.
It was at around this point that I realized that I couldn’t properly make decisions. I tried to weigh pros and cons, and see the ups and downs of all possible choices, but they all just blended into indiscernible thoughts of colors, and church steeples, and what time it was, and whether or not I wanted to do homework. I couldn’t make heads or tails of the information that was being listed in my mind. “Uh-huh,” I nodded like an idiot.
Katie came by, next to Ian, wiping some white powder from the tip of her nose, “You’re back!” She reached out to embrace me, and I returned it as best as I could. She was so bubbly I didn’t know quite how to accept her advance. “I missed you. Hey, c’mere, I wanna show you something.” She took me by the hand, and I shrugged at Ian. He squinted his eyes and smiled. I barely knew this chick. What was she doing?
Although I originally had the mind to think that this woman was going to take me to some back room or something, she only led me around the far side of the table, where I could see that she had already prepared a line for each of us. We sat down on the floor like Indians, Katie was beaming, holding a straw out to me.
“You said you did this before?” She asked.
“Y-yeah,” I said hesitantly. I was still coming to terms with the newfound practice.
“When?”
“Well, once with Ian before one of his lacrosse games, and again with Ian before a job interview.”
“Ooh, you rebel!” she said, growling like a vixen, “here, take it.”
I took the straw. It was a sturdy pink plastic. I was hesitant but Katie gestured for me to go ahead. I bent forward, sticking the utensil in my nostril. Placing the far end at the top of the line of coke, I made a quick motion down its length, inhaling deeply and audibly. Almost immediately, I felt euphoria. A tube was inserted into my head that blew cool, breezy air through every vein, every artery, every capillary of my body. I felt it all over. My heart and my brain felt superhuman. There was a rumble and a hum as if something had been turned on. I was a factory and I was running efficiently, seamlessly, perfectly. A hidden energy in me had been awakened, and I felt ready to take on the world.
“Ok! My turn!” Katie squealed. I sniffed and snorted to start the drip and handed her the straw. She repeated the ritual, collapsing back in a calm elation against my shoulder. “This shit is great,” she sighed. Coming from her, curse words seemed no less ladylike than if she spoke like a Victorian queen.
Suddenly, Ian was behind me, grabbing my shoulder, “Dude, since you’re so attached to Katie’s nipple, ima go ahead and bounce. Marcus and Lauren are coming with. Kapeesh?”
“Wait, guy, you can’t just up and go without me!” I protested.
“Then come on!”
Katie broke in, wrapping her arms around me, “It’s ok. You can stay here with me, and we’ll just catch up with them later.” I looked at her and then looked at Ian. We shared a shrug. That was our unspoken agreement, to us, just as binding as a legal contract. With that, he gestured with his hand that I fork something over. I looked at him quizzically.
“The keys and the eye drops!” He demanded.
“Oh, my bad. I forgot all about ‘em,” I fished them out of my pocket and threw them his way.
“And I thought I was absentminded.”
I snorted a laugh, “me too.”
With Ian, Lauren, and Marcus gone, Nathan and Ashley came around to join myself and Katie. I didn’t really know where they had been, but their disheveled appearance gave a clue. We all split a joint.
Nathan seemed jovial and lax, “So Vance, tell me ‘boutchurself.”
“What do you wanna hear?”
“Everything,” Katie said.
“Yeah, what’s up with you?” Ashley added.
“What do you mean what’s up with me?”
“Like why you’re so quiet and what do you do and whatnot,” Nathan urged, smiling.
“Well, I guess I’m pretty quiet by nature, but Ian advised me to keep it on the low this evening.”
“Yeah, Ian told me ‘bout that. Shallow waters, he said.