Mindless Ramblings by Justin Six (bts book recommendations .TXT) 📕

with a unified, “The show must go on!” They used different words.

           

It will be time soon, can I move yet?

           

Thirty minutes pass, the line of people outside has crammed themselves inside the venue. The “lucky” few get to be jammed in the very front, directly in front of the stage. Among these few is Allison Striker.

           

I have to risk it, it’s starting.

           

He breaks free of his hiding spot, ignores the surprised looks of those near enough to the wardrobe to see him burst out from behind the various outfits. Music has started to play, with no time to lose he rushes out to the stage. No one notices him initially, but then he steals the mic from the lead singer and shouts into the mic, “I hate you Allison! You refused to come here with me. You said you weren’t feeling well!”

           

The crowd stares blankly forward, confused as to what was going on. Allison starts to boo, everyone else follows suit. Security takes him away; the singer gets his mic back. Security throws him out back and warns him to never come back.

           

It isn’t enough, it didn’t work. I just want her to care.

           

Two weeks go by before he decides what to do. In the meanwhile, he can’t help but constantly send longing stares towards her. But, then with a plan in mind, he watches Allison at cheer practice, waits for it to end. Follows her to her car.

           

“Hey can I talk to you?” he asks.

           

“You need to leave me alone,” Allison replies.

           

“I just want to talk, please just hear me out,” he says.

           

He moves closer. Allison sticks her hand through her car's window and grabs something from her backpack. She faces towards him with her back closely hugging the car.

           

“I just want to-

           

“Stay back!” Allison screams.                    

           

He moves a tiny bit closer and opens his mouth so as to speak, Allison thrusts forward with the scissors she had grabbed from her backpack. He starts to bleed, Allison leaves.

 

Dream of Desires Past

 

I am stuck in a dark and evil place waiting on an old wizard to get me out, so that I may help him go on an adventure to kill the evil that is currently trapping me. The wizard takes much too long for my taste and keeps telling me to wait. I become restless and find my own way to escape with the aid of another prisoner, a horse, and an ever changing portal for a door.            

 

I end up on the streets of a place I don't recognize. There is a large group of highly religious looking people preaching on the street to passing strangers. Tired and unsure of what was next I called out multiple times, "Does anyone have anywhere for me to sleep?"            

 

After I started calling this out it came to my attention that one of the religious preachers was looking at me, she looked younger than the rest of them, maybe even my age.            

 

"I know where you can stay for free, follow me," she said.            

 

So I trailed behind the only attractive blonde preacher I could see. As we walked her clothes changed on her body to jeans and a rather normal looking t-shirt.            

 

At our final destination she introduced me to a man in his forties with little grey hair, and a strong beard. He was supposed to be running the place. Said place was a strange sort of shelter for those with nowhere else to go. The first thing the girl led me to do after meeting the man, was meet more people of varying ages, and play video games on an assortment of pcs.            

 

After a good year at the place and half a year dating the blonde girl, I left the place, broken and lost; I'd long forgotten everything that had come before it. Literally nothing then happened, black consumed my world. I soon found myself once more at the shelter for the abandoned.            

 

"Welcome back, did you learn anything new while gone?" the runner of the place asked.            

 

I shook my head. Skip forward and I am preparing for a play with a bunch of people from the shelter. It isn't your traditional play, we intended to perform it in front of a gas station to raise some money, and we were implementing all of our individual skills, of which I had none to contribute, so I was just going to play a main, but simple role.            

 

The play happens. I say vague things with confidence to men and women. Eventually I confess my love to the girl with the most makeup and fanciest dress. We kiss and music starts. (She does so reluctantly.) With most of the acting done, everyone begins to show off what they can do. Fire breathing, playing weird instruments, singing, and joke telling are the biggest focus. When everyone finishes we collect our money and walk up to the edge of a cliff with a nice overview of the beach.            

 

On the way there I can't avert my eyes from a beautiful, but short, and short haired girl with black hair and brown eyes. Then a friend of mine says I should really get over my last girlfriend and says, "She's cool and available." Pointing to a girl behind us, who immediately blushes when she sees were looking in her direction.            

My friend pushes me towards her and I ask her out, we become a couple in the short time it takes to reach the cliff side. But at the cliff regret takes over and I know I don't care for her, but rather the other girl, so I jump off the cliff into the water with the short haired, short girl.            

 

Landing in the water hurt, on the way down I did however manage to tell the girl that I really liked her, she hadn't replied yet. Right before I hit the water I see a rock that I seem to be on course with, I move a bit to the right, barely missing it, and end up having to bounce off of another smaller floating rock to end up in the water. The girl and I hang on to the rock, unsure of what to do; there are other people around us, also holding on. Then a lifeguard seems to appear out of thin air and save us, bringing us to the beach, but only after I start bleeding as a result of a rock falling down on me.            

 

At the beach, I get into an argument with the girl as we walk away from the beach back onto the streets.

           

"I'll break up with her as soon as I can," I plead with her.

           

"Fine, fine," she says, finally giving in.

           

We walk down the street, holding hands, into the distance, engaged in conversation.

My Version of A Diary

 

Wind is surrounding me. I have never really thought of it as something with motivation, or goals, but as it comes in contact with me, I realize nothing can exist without motivation. Now it hits me that I have no real motivation. I am standing here for no reason, alone, cold, and bored.

 

Flashing images. So beautiful. They always provide such a nice distraction from the fact that I am never in reality. The ironic bit is that I pretend they are my escape from reality. Brief moments of pleasure are still lived by me. Though not genuine, they still exist. Somehow, someway, these colors and sounds grab emotion from me. Not just one emotion either. No, they allow for me to feel things besides regret, pain, loneliness, and longing. 

 

Epiphany. A strange word to describe a complicated thing. I now understand what my problem is. My actions are in the present, but my thoughts are anywhere but. Thinking about things that can’t be changed, as well as things that will not happen for a long time, if at all.

 

Finding an issue is never enough, trying is never worth it. You give two hundred percent, and you will get twenty percent back. As you attempt to solve all of your problems, the problems of the world are looking for the shortest line.

 

Finished, exhausted, and retiring temporarily.

 

Tired without real reason, and the feeling that failure is just the start.

 

Thinking is dangerous for someone who has no set rules. Every thought leads to an unanswerable question. The many unspoken ideas seem to contradict each other and go in circles. Yet everything seems as likely to be true, nothing stands out as strange, or wrong.

 

A façade is created in the mind; the body moves on to provide distractions for the brain.

 

Substances of all kinds can be relied on for many things. They can detach people from reality, without putting them to sleep, or killing them. Confidence, self-esteem, and even looks can be replaced by strange substances in bottles.

 

Regret and despair come in a timely fashion and end the evening.

 

It’s all okay. For the first time in a long time, inner peace seems to be mine. Goals are set, hopes high, and the future seems promising. A single good day has lifted my spirits so high, it is finally possible for me to fall again. With joy I decide to end it while ahead.

 

The sun is coming up, and the moon isn’t leaving. Old faces are still lurking around in my head, but I have already replaced the people.

 

Cynical can no longer describe my mindset, nor negative. Hate is all that seems to exist in what has often been thought to be empty. The space past my skull is filled, filled with hatred for everything, for no real reason.

 

Frustrated, blocked and surrounded. Accused by the attackers, no solution in sight. Love for all the distractions creates only more barriers. Will work ever be finished?

 

 

Time Travel and Other Things