Something New by Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (best memoirs of all time TXT) 📕

Premature Suggestion Of Midsummer.

Aline Peters Was Sitting At The Open Window Of Her Bedroom,  Which

Commanded An Extensive View Of The Terraces. A Pile Of Letters

Lay On The Table Beside Her,  For She Had Just Finished Reading

Her Mail. The Postman Came Late To The Castle On Sundays And She

Had Not Been Able To Do This Until Luncheon Was Over.

Aline Was Puzzled. She Was Conscious Of A Fit Of Depression For

Which She Could In No Way Account. She Had A Feeling That All Was

Not Well With The World,  Which Was The More Remarkable In That

She Was Usually Keenly Susceptible To Weather Conditions And

Reveled In Sunshine Like A Kitten. Yet Here Was A Day Nearly As

Fine As An American Day--And She Found No Solace In It.

She Looked Down On The Terrace; As She Looked The Figure Of

George Emerson Appeared,  Walking Swiftly. And At The Sight Of Him

Something Seemed To Tell Her That She Had Found The Key To Her

Gloom.

There Are Many Kinds Of Walk. George Emerson's Was The Walk Of

Mental Unrest. His Hands Were Clasped Behind His Back,  His Eyes

Stared Straight In Front Of Him From Beneath Lowering Brows,  And

Between His Teeth Was An Unlighted Cigar. No Man Who Is Not A

Professional Politician Holds An Unlighted Cigar In His Mouth

Unless He Wishes To Irritate And Baffle A Ticket Chopper In The

Subway,  Or Because Unpleasant Meditations Have Caused Him To

Forget He Has It There. Plainly,  Then,  All Was Not Well With

George Emerson.

Aline Had Suspected As Much At Luncheon; And Looking Back She

Realized That It Was At Luncheon Her Depression Had Begun. The

Discovery Startled Her A Little. She Had Not Been Aware,  Or She

Had Refused To Admit To Herself,  That George's Troubles Bulked So

Large On Her Horizon. She Had Always Told Herself That She Liked

George,  That George Was A Dear Old Friend,  That George Amused And

Stimulated Her; But She Would Have Denied She Was So Wrapped Up

In George That The Sight Of Him In Trouble Would Be Enough To

Spoil For Her The Finest Day She Had Seen Since She Left America.

There Was Something Not Only Startling But Shocking In The

Thought; For She Was Honest Enough With Herself To Recognize That

Freddie,  Her Official Loved One,  Might Have Paced The Grounds Of

The Castle Chewing An Unlighted Cigar By The Hour Without

Stirring Any Emotion In Her At All.

And She Was To Marry Freddie Next Month! This Was Surely A Matter

That Called For Thought. She Proceeded,  Gazing Down The While At

The Perambulating George,  To Give It Thought.

Aline's Was Not A Deep Nature. She Had Never Pretended To Herself

That She Loved The Honorable Freddie In The Sense In Which The

Word Is Used In Books. She Liked Him And She Liked The Idea Of

Being Connected With The Peerage; Her Father Liked The Idea And

She Liked Her Father. And The Combination Of These Likings Had

Caused Her To Reply "Yes" When,  Last Autumn,  Freddie,  Swelling

Himself Out Like An Embarrassed Frog And Gulping,  Had Uttered

That Memorable Speech Beginning,  "I Say,  You Know,  It's Like

This,  Don't You Know!"--And Ending,  "What I Mean Is,  Will You

Marry Me--What?"

She Had Looked Forward To Being Placidly Happy As The Honorable

Mrs. Frederick Threepwood. And Then George Emerson Had Reappeared

In Her Life,  A Disturbing Element.

Until To-Day She Would Have Resented The Suggestion That She Was

In Love With George. She Liked To Be With Him,  Partly Because He

Was So Easy To Talk To,  And Partly Because It Was Exciting To Be

Continually Resisting The Will Power He Made No Secret Of Trying

To Exercise. But To-Day There Was A Difference. She Had Suspected

It At Luncheon And She Realized It Now. As She Looked Down At Him

From Behind The Curtain,  And Marked His Air Of Gloom,  She Could

No Longer Disguise It From Herself.

She Felt Maternal--Horribly Maternal. George Was In Trouble And

She Wanted To Comfort Him.

Freddie,  Too,  Was In Trouble. But Did She Want To Comfort

Freddie? No. On The Contrary,  She Was Already Regretting Her

Promise,  So Lightly Given Before Luncheon,  To Go And Sit With Him

That Afternoon. A Well-Marked Feeling Of Annoyance That He Should

Have Been So Silly As To Tumble Downstairs And Sprain His Ankle

Was Her Chief Sentiment Respecting Freddie.

George Emerson Continued To Perambulate And Aline Continued To

Watch Him. At Last She Could Endure It No Longer. She Gathered Up

Her Letters,  Stacked Them In A Corner Of The Dressing-Table And

Left The Room. George Had Reached The End Of The Terrace And

Turned When She Began To Descend The Stone Steps Outside The

Front Door. He Quickened His Pace As He Caught Sight Of Her. He

Halted Before Her And Surveyed Her Morosely.

"I Have Been Looking For You," He Said.

"And Here I Am. Cheer Up,  George! Whatever Is The Matter? I've

Been Sitting In My Room Looking At You,  And You Have Been Simply

Prowling. What Has Gone Wrong?"

"Everything!"

"How Do You Mean--Everything?"

"Exactly What I Say. I'm Done For. Read This."

Aline Took The Yellow Slip Of Paper. "A Cable," Added George. "I

Got It This Morning--Mailed On From My Rooms In London. Read It."

"I'm Trying To. It Doesn't Seem To Make Sense."

George Laughed Grimly.

"It Makes Sense All Right."

"I Don't See How You Can Say That. 'Meredith Elephant

Kangaroo--?'"

"Office Cipher; I Was Forgetting. 'Elephant' Means 'Seriously Ill

And Unable To Attend To Duty.' Meredith Is One Of The Partners In

My Firm In New York."

"Oh,  I'm So Sorry! Do You Think He Is Very Sick? Are You Very

Fond Of Mr. Meredith?"

"Meredith Is A Good Fellow And I Like Him; But If It Was Simply A

Matter Of His Being Ill I'm Afraid I Could Manage To Bear Up

Under The News. Unfortunately 'Kangaroo' Means 'Return,  Without

Fail,  By The Next Boat.'"

"You Must Return By The Next Boat?" Aline Looked At Him,  In Her

Eyes A Slow-Growing Comprehension Of The Situation. "Oh!" She

Said At Length.

"I Put It Stronger Than That," Said George.

"But--The Next Boat---- That Means On Wednesday."

"Wednesday Morning,  From Southampton. I Shall Have To Leave Here

To-Morrow."

Aline's Eyes Were Fixed On The Blue Hills Across The Valley,  But

She Did Not See Them. There Was A Mist Between. She Was Feeling

Crushed And Ill-Treated And Lonely. It Was As Though George Was

Already Gone And She Left Alone In An Alien Land.

"But,  George!" She Said; She Could Find No Other Words For Her

Protest Against The Inevitable.

"It's Bad Luck," Said Emerson Quietly; "But I Shouldn't Wonder If

It Is Not The Best Thing That Really Could Have Happened. It

Finishes Me Cleanly,  Instead Of Letting Me Drag On And Make Both

Of Us Miserable. If This Cable Hadn't Come I Suppose I Should

Have Gone On Bothering You Up To The Day Of Your Wedding. I

Should Have Fancied,  To The Last Moment,  That There Was A Chance

For Me; But This Ends Me With One Punch.

"Even I Haven't The Nerve To Imagine That I Can Work A Miracle In

The Few Hours Before The Train Leaves To-Morrow. I Must Just Make

The Best Of It. If We Ever Meet Again--And I Don't See Why We

Should--You Will Be Married. My Particular Brand Of Mental

Suggestion Doesn't Work At Long Range. I Shan't Hope To Influence

You By Telepathy."

He Leaned On The Balustrade At Her Side And Spoke In A Low,  Level

Voice.

"This Thing," He Said,  "Coming As A Shock,  Coming Out Of The Blue

Sky Without Warning--Meredith Is The Last Man In The World You

Would Expect To Crack Up; He Looked As Fit As A Dray Horse The

Last Time I Saw Him--Somehow Seems To Have Hammered A Certain

Amount Of Sense Into Me. Odd It Never Struck Me Before; But I

Suppose I Have Been About The Most Bumptious,  Conceited Fool That

Ever Happened.

"Why I Should Have Imagined That There Was A Sort Of Irresistible

Fascination In Me,  Which Was Bound To Make You Break Off Your

Engagement And Upset The Whole Universe Simply To Win The

Wonderful Reward Of Marrying Me,  Is More Than I Can Understand. I

Suppose It Takes A Shock To Make A Fellow See Exactly What He

Really Amounts To. I Couldn't Think Any More Of You Than I Do;

But,  If I Could,  The Way You Have Put Up With My Mouthing And

Swaggering And Posing As A Sort Of Superman,  Would Make Me Do It.

You Have Been Wonderful!"

Aline Could Not Speak. She Felt As Though Her Whole World Had

Been Turned Upside Down In The Last Quarter Of An Hour. This Was

A New George Emerson,  A George At Whom It Was Impossible To

Laugh,  But An Insidiously Attractive George. Her Heart Beat

Quickly. Her Mind Was Not Clear; But Dimly She Realized That He

Had Pulled Down Her Chief Barrier Of Defense And That She Was

More Open To Attack Than She Had Ever Been. Obstinacy,  The

Automatic Desire To Resist The Pressure Of A Will That Attempted

To Overcome Her Own,  Had Kept Her Cool And Level-Headed In The

Past. With Masterfulness She Had Been Able To Cope. Humility Was

Another Thing Altogether.

Soft-Heartedness Was Aline's Weakness. She Had Never Clearly

Recognized It,  But It Had Been Partly Pity That Had Induced Her

To Accept Freddie; He Had Seemed So Downtrodden And Sorry For

Himself During Those Autumn Days When They Had First Met.

Prudence Warned Her That Strange Things Might Happen If Once She

Allowed Herself To Pity George Emerson.

The Silence Lengthened. Aline Could Find Nothing To Say. In Her

Present