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The Boy Was Like A Figure On A Great Iced Cake, For The

Ground Was Whitened Too.

 

Luckily, The Ascent Was Over, And We Were On Grassy, Undulating Land

Where Stunted Trees Stood Here And There Like Pointing Wraiths In The

Misty Gloom. Dimly I Could See, Now And Then, A Daub Of Paint, Red As

A Splash Of Blood, On A Dark Boulder, To Guide Travellers Towards The

Summit Hotel. Had It Not Been For These, It Would Have Been Impossible

To Find The Way, Or Keep It If Found.

 

We Could Walk Side By Side Here, And Looking Down At The Boy, I Could

See That He Was Shivering.

 

"Can It Be That A Few Hours Ago The Mere Exertion Of Walking Made Us

So Hot That We Had To Mop Our Foreheads, And Fan Ourselves With Our

Hats?" I Asked.

 

"Let's Talk About It," Said The Boy. "It May Warm Us, Just To

Remember."

 

"Are You Very Cold?"

Chapter 24 (The Revenge Of The Mountain) Pg 179

 

"Not So Ve-R-Y."

 

"Your Teeth Are Chattering In Your Head. Stop, We'll Have Our

Overcoats Out Of The Packs."

 

"I Don't Want Mine."

 

"Nonsense; You Must Have It."

 

"To Tell The Truth, I Haven't Got It With Me. I Gave It To The

Upstairs Waiter At Chamounix. He Told Me A Lot About Himself, And He

Was In Trouble, Poor Fellow; He'd Been Discharged For Some Fault Or

Other, And Was So Poor That He Was Going To Walk Home, In The Farthest

Part Of Switzerland. You See, I Thought As I Was On The Way South, I

Wouldn't Need An Overcoat. I'd Hardly Ever Wanted It So Far, And The

Waiter Was A Small, Slim Chap, Not Much Bigger Than I Am. Anyhow, We

Shall Soon Be At The Hotel Now, And We Can Walk Fast."

 

He Looked So White And Spirit-Like In The Mist, With His Big Bright

Eyes Made Brighter By The Tired Shadows Underneath, That I Would Not

Discourage Him With The Truth. If I Had Said That I Feared We Were

Lost In The Mist, And Perhaps Might Not Reach The Hotel For Hours, He

Would Have Realised All His Weariness And Suffering. I Made Him Wait,

However, And When The Ghostly Procession Of Man, Woman, And Beasts Had

Trailed Up To Us, I Ordered A Stop For Finois To Be Unloaded, That My

Overcoat Might Be Unearthed.

 

In Place Of The Workmanlike Pack Which The Mule Might Have Borne, Had

I Not Insisted On Fulfilling A Rash Vow, My Luggage Was Contained In

Twin Brown Hold-Alls Bought At Martigny, And Covered With A Waterproof

Cloth Which Was The Property Of Joseph.

 

Both These Abominable Rolls Had To Be Taken Off Finois' Back And Laid

Upon The Whitened Grass, As I Had Forgotten In Which One Was Stuffed

The Coat That I Had Not Worn For Many Days. Now At This Bitter

Moment, Could My Valet But Have Known It, He Had His Full Revenge. I

Longed For Him As A Thirsty Traveller In The Desert Longs For A Spring

Of Water. Yet I Knew, Deep Down In My Desolate Heart, That Locker

Would Not Have Been Able To Cope With This Crisis. In Cities, He Was

More Efficient Than Most Of His Kind, But The Unusual Was A Bugbear To

Him; And, Lost In A Freezing Mountain Mist, He Would Have Lain Down To

Die With My Horrible Hold-Alls Still Strapped And Bulging. It Is A

Strange Thing That Most Servants Would Consider Themselves Deeply

Injured If Asked To Bear Half The Hardships Which Their Masters

Cheerfully Undergo For The Sheer Fun Of The Thing.

 

Joseph Came To My Rescue, But, With All The Good Will In The World, He

Complicated Matters. Finois, Fanny, And Souris Pressed Nearer, Hoping

For Something To Eat, And The Two Donkeys, Discouraged And

Disheartened By The Unexpected Cold, Were Piteous, Shivering Objects,

With Their Velvet Hair Bristling On End, Their Little Legs Knocking

Together. Even Their Faces Seemed To Have Shrunk, And Fanny Was All

Chapter 24 (The Revenge Of The Mountain) Pg 180

Eyes And Grey Spectacles.

 

I Opened The Hateful Object Which, By Its Tuberculous Knobs, I

Recognised As The One Least Often Unpacked. It Was There That I

Expected To Find The Coat, Wrapped Democratically Round Goodness Knew

How Many Spare Boots, Stockings, Collars, And Other Small Articles

Which Locker Would Never Have Allowed To Come Within Speaking Distance

Of Each Other. But, With The Total Depravity Of Inanimate Things, The

Coat Had Escaped From The Hold-All. In My Certainty That I Must Come

Upon It Sooner Or Later--At The Bottom Of Everything, Of Course--I

Scattered The Other Contents Recklessly About; And When At Last I Gave

Up The Search In Despair, The White Ground Was Strewn With The Most

Intimate Accessories Of My Toilet. Seized With A Berserker Rage, I

Tore Open The Second Hold-All, And Before The Boy Could Utter A Cry Of

Protest, More Collars, Handkerchiefs, Brushes, And Little Horrors Of

Every Description Peppered The Earth. There Were As Many Things There

As The Inestimable Mother Of The Swiss Family Robinson Contrived To

Stow In Her Wonderful Bag During The Five Minutes Before The

Shipwreck--Things Which Fulfilled All The Wants Of The Young Robinsons

For The Period Of Seventeen Years. But, Naturally, The One Thing I

Needed Was Missing; And Now That It Was Too Late, I Vaguely Recalled

Seeing That Overcoat Hanging Limply On A Peg In The Wardrobe Of Some

Hotel Whose Very Name I Had Now Forgotten.

 

If I Had Been A Woman, I Should Inevitably Have Burst Into Tears, And

Somebody Would Have Comforted Me, And Everything Would Immediately

Have Been All Right. As It Was, I Used Several Of Innocentina's Most

Lurid Phrases, Under My Breath, And Announced My Intention Of

Abandoning My Luggage On The Mountain-Side, Rather Than Attempt The

Impossible Task Of Feeding It Again To The Monsters Which Had

Disgorged It.

 

"Poor Man!" Exclaimed The Boy. "Why Didn't You Confide To Me Before,

That You Were Physically And Mentally Incapable Of Packing? I've Often

Noticed That Your Hold-Alls Looked Like Overfed Boa Constrictors, But

I Didn't Dream Things Were As Bad As This. You Had Better Let

Innocentina And Me Do The Work For You. We're What You Call 'Nailers'

At It, I Assure You."

 

I Made A Snatch At A Dressing-Gown, Which I Rescued From The

Conglomerate Heap Before He Could Push Me Away. Then, With The

Garment Hung Over My Arm, I Stood By Helplessly With Joseph, While

Innocentina And The Boy, With Incredible Swiftness And Skill, Set

About The Business From Which I Had Been Dismissed. Somewhat After

This Fashion Must The Work Of Creation Have Been Done, When There Was

Only Chaos To Begin Upon.

 

In Five Minutes All My Scattered Horrors Had Been Sorted Neatly,

According To Their Species, Like The Animals Forming In Procession For

The Ark; Collars After Their Kind; Boots After Their Kind; And So On,

Down To The Humble Shoestring And Mean Shirt-Stud. Never Had Those

Loathsome Inventions Of An Evil Mind, My Hold-Alls, So Closely

Resembled Self-Respecting Members Of The Luggage Fraternity As They

Chapter 24 (The Revenge Of The Mountain) Pg 181

Did When The Boy And Innocentina Had Finished With Them.

 

With A Sigh Of Relief The Little Pal Jumped Up From His Grim Task,

Leaving Joseph To Fasten The Straps; And As He Got To His Feet, His

Small Hands Purple With Cold, I Wrapped The Dressing-Gown Round His

Shoulders. Then, Seeing His Slight Figure Engulfed In It, Like A Very

Small Pea In A Very Big Pod, I Burst Out Laughing.

 

"Is _That_ What You Wanted?" Cried The Boy. "I Won't Have It. I Won't!

I'd Rather Freeze Than Be A Guy. Put It On Yourself."

 

"I Don't Need It. It Was For You. Don't Be Ungrateful, After All My

Trouble."

 

"All _My_ Trouble, You Mean. Take Off The Horrid Thing. I Won't Wear

It. Let Me Alone."

 

Unmoved By His Complaints, I Still Held Him Prisoner, Using The

Dressing-Gown As A Strait-Jacket, While He Fought In My Grasp. A

Sudden Suppressed Giggle From Innocentina At This Juncture Seemed To

Drive Him To Frenzy.

 

"If You Don't Let Me Go, I'll--I'll Box Your Ears!" He Stammered.

 

"Try It," I Advised Sternly.

 

He Could Not Move His Arms, So Closely I Held Him, But His Eyes Were

Blazing.

 

"You'll Be Sorry For This Some Day," He Panted.

 

"Will You Keep On The Dressing-Gown, If I Let You Go?".

 

"No."

 

"Then Will You Wear My Coat?"

 

"What! And Have You In Your Shirt-Sleeves? Rather Not. Let Me----"

 

"I'll Give You The Coat And Wear The Dressing-Gown Myself. _I'm_ Not

As Vain As A Girl."

 

Whether The Thought Of What My Appearance Would Be In The Gown, Or The

Taunt I Flung At Him, Moved The Boy, I Cannot Say, But Suddenly His

Struggles Ceased.

 

"I'll Wear Anything You Like," Said He With A Sudden Accession Of

Meekness, So Unexpected That I Was Alarmed For His Health, And Gazed

At Him Closely To See If He Were On The Verge Of A Collapse. Instead

Of Looking Ill, However, He Was No Longer Pinched And Pallid, But

Radiant With Colour. Rage Had Produced A Beneficial Effect Upon His

Circulation.

 

Chapter 24 (The Revenge Of The Mountain) Pg 182

On His Promise, I Released Him, Nor Did I Insist When He Waved Me

Aside, And Hurriedly Girded Up The Dressing-Gown Himself. The Garment

Reached Almost To His Feet, And The Quaintness Of The Little Figure

Shrouded In Its Dark Folds And Hatted With Panama Straw, In The Midst

Of A Mountain Snow-Cloud, Was A Sight To Make Fanny Laugh; But I Kept

A Grave Face, And So Did Joseph And Innocentina, Though The

Donkey-Girl's Eyes Were Bright.

 

We Marched On Again When Finois Had Been Reloaded, The Party Keeping

Well Together,

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