The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain (feel good books txt) 📕

Motley ProcessionBill of Fare for a Peddler's BreakfastPrincely SalariesAscent of Vesuvius ContinuedAn Average of PricesThe wonderful "Blue Grotto"Visit to Celebrated Localities in the Bay of NaplesThe Poisoned "Grotto of the Dog"A Petrified Sea of LavaAscent of Mount Vesuvius ContinuedThe Summit ReachedDescription of the CraterDescent of Vesuvius

CHAPTER XXXI. The Buried City of PompeiiHow Dwellings Appear that have been Unoccupied for Eighteen hundred yearsThe Judgment SeatDesolationThe Footprints of the Departed"No Women Admitted"Theatres, Bakeshops, SchoolsSkeletons preserved by the Ashes and CindersThe Brave Martyr to DutyRip Van WinkleThe Perishable Nature of Fame

CHAPTER XXXII. At Sea Once MoreThe Pilgrims all WellSuperb StromboliSicily by MoonlightScylla and CharybdisThe "Oracle" at FaultSkirting the Isles of Greece Ancient AthensBlockaded by Quarantine and Refused Permission to EnterRunning the BlockadeA Bloodless Midnight AdventureTurning Robbers from NecessityAttempt to Carry the Acropolis by StormWe FailAmong the Glories of the PastA World of Ruined SculptureA Fairy VisionFamous LocalitiesRetreating in Good Order Captured by the GuardsTravelling in Military StateSafe on Board Again

CHAPTER XXXIII. Modern GreeceFallen GreatnessSailing Through the Archipelago and the DardanellesFootprints of HistoryThe First Shoddy Contractor of whom History gives any AccountAnchored Before ConstantinopleFantastic FashionsThe Ingenious Goose-RancherMarvelous CripplesThe Great MosqueThe Thousand and One ColumnsThe Grand Bazaar of Stamboul

CHAPTER XXXIV. Scarcity of Morals and WhiskeySlave-Girl Market ReportCommercial Morality at a DiscountThe Slandered Dogs of Constantinople Questionable Delights of Newspaperdom in TurkeyIngenious Italian JournalismNo More Turkish Lunches DesiredThe Turkish Bath Fraud The Narghileh FraudJackplaned by a NativeThe Turkish Coffee Fraud

CHAPTER XXXV. Sailing Through the Bosporus and the Black Sea"Far-Away Moses" Melancholy SebastopolHospitably Received in RussiaPleasant English PeopleDesperate FightingRelic HuntingHow Travellers Form "Cabinets"

CHAPTER XXXVI. Nine Thousand Miles EastImitation American Town in RussiaGratitude that Came Too LateTo Visit the Autocrat of All the Russias

CHAPTER XXXVII. Summer Home of RoyaltyPractising for the Dread OrdealCommittee on Imperial AddressReception by the Emperor and FamilyDresses of the Imperial PartyConcentrated PowerCounting the SpoonsAt the Grand Duke'sA Charming VillaA Knightly FigureThe Grand DuchessA Grand Ducal BreakfastBaker's Boy, the Famine-BreederTheatrical Monarchs a FraudSaved as by FireThe GovernorGeneral's Visit to the Ship Official "Style"Aristocratic Visitors"Munchausenizing" with Them Closing Ceremonies

CHAPTER XXXVIII. Return to ConstantinopleWe Sail for AsiaThe Sailors Burlesque the Imperial VisitorsAncient SmyrnaThe "Oriental Splendor" Fraud The "Biblical Crown of Life"Pilgrim Prophecy-SavansSociable Armenian GirlsA Sweet Reminiscence"The Camels are Coming, Ha-ha!"

CHAPTER XXXIX. Smyrna's LionsThe Martyr PolycarpThe "Seven Churches"Remains of the Six SmyrnasMysterious Oyster Mine OystersSeeking SceneryA Millerite TraditionA Railroad Out of its Sphere

CHAPTER XL. Journeying Toward Ancient EphesusAncient AyassalookThe Villanous DonkeyA Fantastic ProcessionBygone MagnificenceFragments of HistoryThe Legend of the Seven Sleepers

CHAPTER XLI. Vandalism ProhibitedAngry PilgrimsApproaching Holy Land!The "Shrill Note of Preparation"Distress About Dragomans and Transportation The "Long Route" AdoptedIn SyriaSomething about BeiroutA Choice Specimen of a Greek "Ferguson"OutfitsHideous HorsefleshPilgrim "Style"What of Aladdin's Lamp?

CHAPTER XLII. "Jacksonville," in the Mountains of LebanonBreakfasting above a Grand PanoramaThe Vanished CityThe Peculiar Steed, "Jericho"The Pilgrims ProgressBible ScenesMount Hermon, Joshua's Battle Fields, etc. The Tomb of NoahA Most Unfortunate People

CHAPTER XLIII. Patriarchal CustomsMagnificent BaalbecDescription of the Ruins Scribbling Smiths and JonesesPilgrim Fidelity to the Letter of the Law The Revered Fountain of Baalam's Ass

CHAPTER XLIV. Extracts from Note-BookMahomet's Paradise and the Bible'sBeautiful Damascus the Oldest City on EarthOriental Scenes within the Curious Old CityDamascus Street CarThe Story of St. PaulThe "Street called Straight"Mahomet's Tomb and St. George'sThe Christian Massacre Mohammedan Dread of PollutionThe House of Naaman The Horrors of Leprosy

CHAPTER XLV. The Cholera by way of VarietyHotAnother Outlandish ProcessionPen and-Ink Photograph of "Jonesborough," SyriaTomb of Nimrod, the Mighty HunterThe Stateliest Ruin of AllStepping over the Borders of Holy-LandBathing in the Sources of JordanMore "Specimen" Hunting Ruins of CesareaPhilippi"On This Rock Will I Build my Church"The People the Disciples KnewThe Noble Steed "Baalbec"Sentimental Horse Idolatry of the Arabs

CHAPTER XLVI. DanBashanGenessaretA Notable PanoramaSmallness of Palestine Scraps of HistoryCharacter of the CountryBedouin ShepherdsGlimpses of the Hoary PastMr. Grimes's BedouinsA BattleGround of Joshua That Soldier's Manner of FightingBarak's BattleThe Necessity of Unlearning Some ThingsDesolation

CHAPTER XLVII. "Jack's Adventure"Joseph's PitThe Story of JosephJoseph's Magnanimity and Esau'sThe Sacred Lake of GenessaretEnthusiasm of the PilgrimsWhy We did not Sail on GalileeAbout CapernaumConcerning the Saviour's Brothers and SistersJourneying toward Magdela

CHAPTER XLVIII. Curious Specimens of Art and ArchitecturePublic Reception of the PilgrimsMary Magdalen's HouseTiberias and its Queer Inhabitants The Sacred Sea of GalileeGalilee by Night

CHAPTER XLIX. The Ancient BathsYe ApparitionA Distinguished PanoramaThe Last Battle of the CrusadesThe Story of the Lord of KerakMount Tabor What one Sees from its TopMemory of a Wonderful GardenThe House of Deborah the Prophetess

CHAPTER L. Toward NazarethBitten By a CamelGrotto of the Annunciation, Nazareth Noted Grottoes in GeneralJoseph's WorkshopA Sacred Bowlder The Fountain of the VirginQuestionable Female Beauty Literary Curiosities

CHAPTER LI. Boyhood of the SaviourUnseemly Antics of Sober PilgrimsHome of the Witch of EndorNainProfanationA Popular Oriental PictureBiblical Metaphors Becoming steadily More IntelligibleThe Shuuem Miracle The "Free Son of The Desert"Ancient JezraelJehu's Achievements Samaria and its Famous Siege

CHAPTER LII Curious Remnant of the PastShechemThe Oldest "First Family" on Earth The Oldest Manuscript ExtantThe Genuine Tomb of JosephJacob's Well ShilohCamping with the ArabsJacob's LadderMore Desolation Ramah, Beroth, the Tomb of Samuel, The Fountain of BeiraImpatience Approaching JerusalemThe Holy City in SightNoting Its Prominent FeaturesDomiciled Within the Sacred Walls

CHAPTER LIII. "The Joy of the Whole Earth"Description of JerusalemChurch of the Holy SepulchreThe Stone of UnctionThe Grave of JesusGraves of Nicodemus and Joseph of ArmatteaPlaces of the ApparitionThe Finding of the There CrossesThe LegendMonkish ImposturesThe Pillar of FlagellationThe Place of a RelicGodfrey's Sword"The Bonds of Christ""The Center of the Earth"Place whence the Dust was taken of which Adam was MadeGrave of AdamThe Martyred SoldierThe Copper Plate that was on the CrossThe Good St. HelenaPlace of the Division of the GarmentsSt. Dimas, the Penitent ThiefThe Late Emperor Maximilian's ContributionGrotto wherein the Crosses were Found, and the Nails, and the Crown of ThornsChapel of the MockingTomb of MelchizedekGraves of Two Renowned CrusadersThe Place of the Crucifixion

CHAPTER LIV. The "Sorrowful Way"The Legend of St. Veronica's Handkerchief An Illustrious StoneHouse of the Wandering JewThe Tradition of the WandererSolomon's TempleMosque of OmarMoslem Traditions"Women not Admitted"The Fate of a GossipTurkish Sacred RelicsJudgment Seat of David and SaulGenuine Precious Remains of Solomon's TempleSurfeited with SightsThe Pool of SiloamThe Garden of Gethsemane and Other Sacred Localities

CHAPTER LV. Rebellion in the CampCharms of Nomadic LifeDismal RumorsEn Route for Jericho and The Dead SeaPilgrim StrategyBethany and the Dwelling of Lazarus"Bedouins!"Ancient JerichoMiseryThe Night March The Dead SeaAn Idea of What a "Wilderness" in Palestine isThe Holy hermits of Mars SabaGood St. SabaWomen not AdmittedBuried from the World for all TimeUnselfish Catholic BenevolenceGazellesThe Plain of the ShepherdsBirthplace of the Saviour, BethlehemChurch of the NativityIts Hundred Holy PlacesThe Famous "Milk" GrottoTradition Return to JerusalemExhausted

CHAPTER LVI. Departure from JerusalemSamsonThe Plain of SharonArrival at Joppa Horse of Simon the TannerThe Long Pilgrimage EndedCharacter of Palestine SceneryThe Curse

CHAPTER LVII. The Happiness of being at Sea once more"Home" as it is in a Pleasure Ship"Shaking Hands" with the VesselJack in CostumeHis Father's Parting AdviceApproaching EgyptAshore in AlexandriaA Deserved Compliment for the DonkeysInvasion of the Lost Tribes of AmericaEnd of the