Travels Through France And Italy by Tobias Smollett (fastest ebook reader .txt) 📕

Entertaining. There Are Some Knavish Practices Of This Kind, At

Which A Traveller Will Do Well To Shut His Eyes, For His Own Ease

And Convenience. He Will Be Lucky If He Has To Do With A Sensible

Knave, Like Joseph, Who Understood His Interest Too Well To Be

Guilty Of Very Flagrant Pieces Of Imposition.

A Man, Impatient To Be At His Journey's End, Will Find This A

Most Disagreeable Way Of Travelling. In Summer It Must Be Quite

Intolerable. The Mules Are Very Sure, But Very Slow. The Journey

Seldom Exceeds Eight Leagues, About Four And Twenty Miles A Day:

And As Those People Have Certain Fixed Stages, You Are Sometimes

Obliged To Rise In A Morning Before Day; A Circumstance Very

Grievous To Persons In Ill Health. These Inconveniences, However,

Were Over-Balanced By Other Agreemens. We No, Sooner Quitted

Lyons, Than We Got Into Summer Weather, And Travelling Through A

Most Romantic Country, Along The Banks Of The Rhone, Had

Opportunities (From The Slowness Of Our Pace) To Contemplate Its

Beauties At Leisure.

The Rapidity Of The Rhone Is, In A Great Measure, Owing To Its

Being Confined Within Steep Banks On Each Side. These Are Formed

Almost Through Its Whole Course, By A Double Chain Of Mountains,

Which Rise With All Abrupt Ascent From Both Banks Of The River.

The Mountains Are Covered With Vineyards, Interspersed With Small

Summer-Houses, And In Many Places They Are Crowned With Churches,

Chapels, And Convents, Which Add Greatly To The Romantic Beauty

Of The Prospect. The Highroad, As Far As Avignon, Lies Along The

Side Of The River, Which Runs Almost In A Straight Line, And

Affords Great Convenience For Inland Commerce. Travellers, Bound

To The Southern Parts Of France, Generally Embark In The

Diligence At Lyons, And Glide Down This River With Great

Velocity, Passing A Great Number Of Towns And Villages On Each

Side, Where They Find Ordinaries Every Day At Dinner And Supper. 

In Good Weather, There Is No Danger In This Method Of Travelling,

'Till You Come To The Pont St. Esprit, Where The Stream Runs

Through The Arches With Such Rapidity, That The Boat Is Sometimes

Overset. But Those Passengers Who Are Under Any Apprehension Are

Landed Above-Bridge, And Taken In Again, After The Boat Has

Passed, Just In The Same Manner As At London Bridge. The Boats

That Go Up The River Are Drawn Against The Stream By Oxen, Which

Swim Through One Of The Arches Of This Bridge, The Driver Sitting

Between The Horns Of The Foremost Beast. We Set Out From Lyons

Early On Monday Morning, And As A Robbery Had Been A Few Days

Before Committed In That Neighbourhood, I Ordered My Servant To

Load My Musquetoon With A Charge Of Eight Balls. By The Bye, This

Piece Did Not Fail To Attract The Curiosity And Admiration Of The

People In Every Place Through Which We Passed. The Carriage No

Sooner Halted, Than A Crowd Immediately Surrounded The Man To

View The Blunderbuss, Which They Dignified With The Title Of

Petit Canon. At Nuys In Burgundy, He Fired It In The Air, And The

Whole Mob Dispersed, And Scampered Off Like A Flock Of Sheep. In

Our Journey Hither, We Generally Set Out In A Morning At Eight

O'clock, And Travelled 'Till Noon, When The Mules Were Put Up And

Rested A Couple Of Hours. During This Halt, Joseph Went To

Dinner, And We Went To Breakfast, After Which We Ordered

Provision For Our Refreshment In The Coach, Which We Took About

Three Or Four In The Afternoon, Halting For That Purpose, By The

Side Of Some Transparent Brook, Which Afforded Excellent Water To

Mix With Our Wine. In This Country I Was Almost Poisoned With

Garlic, Which They Mix In Their Ragouts, And All Their Sauces;

Nay, The Smell Of It Perfumes The Very Chambers, As Well As Every

Person You Approach. I Was Also Very Sick Of Been Ficas, Grives,

Or Thrushes, And Other Little Birds, Which Are Served Up Twice A

Day At All Ordinaries On The Road. They Make Their Appearance In

Vine-Leaves, And Are Always Half Raw, In Which Condition The

French Choose To Eat Them, Rather Than Run The Risque Of Losing

The Juice By Over-Roasting.

The Peasants On The South Of France Are Poorly Clad, And Look As

If They Were Half-Starved, Diminutive, Swarthy, And Meagre; And

Yet The Common People Who Travel, Live Luxuriously On The Road.

Every Carrier And Mule-Driver Has Two Meals A Day, Consisting

Each Of A Couple Of Courses And A Dessert, With Tolerable Small

Wine. That Which Is Called Hermitage, And Grows In This Province

Of Dauphine, Is Sold On The Spot For Three Livres A Bottle. The

Common Draught, Which You Have At Meals In This Country, Is

Remarkably Strong, Though In Flavour Much Inferior To That Of

Burgundy. The Accommodation Is Tolerable, Though They Demand

(Even In This Cheap Country) The Exorbitant Price Of Four Livres

A Head For Every Meal, Of Those Who Choose To Eat In Their Own

Apartments. I Insisted, However, Upon Paying Them With Three,

Which They Received, Though Not Without Murmuring And Seeming

Discontented. In This Journey, We Found Plenty Of Good Mutton,

Pork, Poultry, And Game, Including The Red Partridge, Which Is

Near Twice As Big As The Partridge Of England. Their Hares Are 

Likewise Surprisingly Large And Juicy. We Saw Great Flocks Of

Black Turkeys Feeding In The Fields, But No Black Cattle; And

Milk Was So Scarce, That Sometimes We Were Obliged To Drink Our

Tea Without It.

One Day Perceiving A Meadow On The Side Of The Road, Full Of A

Flower Which I Took To Be The Crocus, I Desired My Servant To

Alight And Pull Some Of Them. He Delivered The Musquetoon To

Joseph, Who Began To Tamper With It, And Off It Went With A

Prodigious Report, Augmented By An Eccho From The Mountains That

Skirted The Road. The Mules Were So Frightened, That They Went

Off At The Gallop; And Joseph, For Some Minutes, Could Neither

Manage The Reins, Nor Open His Mouth. At Length He Recollected

Himself, And The Cattle Were Stopt, By The Assistance Of The

Servant, To Whom He Delivered The Musquetoon, With A Significant

Shake Of The Head. Then Alighting From The Box, He Examined The

Heads Of His Three Mules, And Kissed Each Of Them In His Turn.

Finding They Had Received No Damage,

He Came Up To The Coach, With A Pale Visage And Staring Eyes, And

Said It Was God's Mercy He Had Not Killed His Beasts. I Answered,

That It Was A Greater Mercy He Had Not Killed His Passengers; For

The Muzzle Of The Piece Might Have Been Directed Our Way As Well

As Any Other, And In That Case Joseph Might Have Been Hanged For

Murder. "I Had As Good Be Hanged (Said He) For Murder, As Be

Ruined By The Loss Of My Cattle." This Adventure Made Such An

Impression Upon Him, That He Recounted It To Every Person We Met;

Nor Would He Ever Touch The Blunderbuss From That Day. I Was

Often Diverted With The Conversation Of This Fellow, Who Was Very

Arch And Very Communicative. Every Afternoon, He Used To Stand

Upon The Foot-Board, At The Side Of The Coach, And Discourse With

Us An Hour Together. Passing By The Gibbet Of Valencia, Which

Stands Very Near The High-Road, We Saw One Body Hanging Quite

Naked, And Another Lying Broken On The Wheel. I Recollected, That

Mandrin Had Suffered In This Place, And Calling To Joseph To

Mount The Foot-Board, Asked If He Had Ever Seen That Famous

Adventurer. At Mention Of The Name Of Mandrin, The Tear Started

In Joseph's Eye, He Discharged A Deep Sigh, Or Rather Groan, And

Told Me He Was His Dear Friend. I Was A Little Startled At This

Declaration; However, I Concealed My Thoughts, And Began To Ask

Questions About The Character And Exploits Of A Man Who Had Made

Such Noise In The World.

He Told Me, Mandrin Was A Native Of Valencia, Of Mean Extraction:

That He Had Served As A Soldier In The Army, And Afterwards Acted

As Maltotier, Or Tax-Gatherer: That At Length He Turned

Contrebandier, Or Smuggler, And By His Superior Qualities, Raised

Himself To The Command Of A Formidable Gang, Consisting Of Five

Hundred Persons Well Armed With Carbines And Pistols. He Had

Fifty Horses For His Troopers, And Three Hundred Mules For The

Carriage Of His Merchandize. His Head-Quarters Were In Savoy: But 

He Made Incursions Into Dauphine, And Set The Marechaussee At

Defiance. He Maintained Several Bloody Skirmishes With These

Troopers, As Well As With Other Regular Detachments, And In All

Those Actions Signalized Himself By His Courage And Conduct.

Coming Up At One Time With Fifty Of The Marechaussee Who Were In

Quest Of Him, He Told Them Very Calmly, He Had Occasion For Their

Horses And Acoutrements, And Desired Them To Dismount. At That

Instant His Gang Appeared, And The Troopers Complied With His

Request, Without Making The Least Opposition. Joseph Said He Was

As Generous As He Was Brave, And Never Molested Travellers, Nor

Did The Least Injury To The Poor; But, On The Contrary, Relieved

Them Very Often. He Used To Oblige The Gentlemen In The Country

To Take His Merchandize, His Tobacco, Brandy, And Muslins, At His

Own Price; And, In The Same Manner, He Laid The Open Towns Under

Contribution. When He Had No Merchandize, He Borrowed Money Off

Them Upon The Credit Of What He Should Bring When He Was Better

Provided. He Was At Last Betrayed, By His Wench, To The Colonel

Of A French Regiment, Who Went With A Detachment In The Night To

The Place Where He Lay In Savoy, And Surprized Him In A Wood-House,

While His People Were Absent In Different Parts Of The

Country. For This Intrusion, The Court Of France Made An Apology

To The King Of Sardinia, In Whose Territories He Was Taken.

Mandrin Being Conveyed To Valencia, His Native Place, Was For

Some Time Permitted To Go Abroad, Under A Strong Guard, With

Chains Upon His Legs; And Here He Conversed Freely With All Sorts

Of People, Flattering Himself With The Hopes Of A Pardon, In

Which, However, He Was Disappointed. An Order Came From Court To

Bring Him To His Trial, When He Was Found Guilty, And Condemned

To Be Broke On The Wheel. Joseph Said