Travels Through France And Italy by Tobias Smollett (fastest ebook reader .txt) 📕

Great Number Of Their Olive-Trees By The Roots, And Done Such

Damage As Terrified Them Into Humility And Submission. Next Day,

The Water Being Delightful, We Arrived By One O'clock In The

Afternoon At Genoa. Here I Made Another Bargain With Our Patron

Antonio, To Carry Us To Nice. He Had Been Hitherto Remarkably

Obliging, And Seemingly Modest. He Spoke Latin Fluently, And Was

Tinctured With The Sciences. I Began To Imagine He Was A Person

Of A Good Family, Who Had Met With Misfortunes In Life, And

Respected Him Accordingly: But I Afterwards Found Him Mercenary,

Mean, And Rapacious. The Wind Being Still Contrary, When We

Departed From Genoa, We Could Get No Further Than Finale, Where

We Lodged In A Very Dismal Habitation, Which Was Recommended To

Us As The Best Auberge In The Place. What Rendered It The More

Uncomfortable, The Night Was Cold, And There Was Not A Fire-Place

In The House, Except In The Kitchen. The Beds (If They Deserved

That Name) Were So Shockingly Nasty, That We Could Not Have Used

Them, Had Not A Friend Of Mr. R-- Supplied Us With Mattrasses,

Sheets, And Coverlets; For Our Own Sheets Were On Board The

Felucca, Which Was Anchored At A Distance From The Shore. Our

Fare Was Equally Wretched: The Master Of The House Was A Surly

Assassin, And His Cameriere Or Waiter, Stark-Staring Mad. Our 

Situation Was At The Same Time Shocking And Ridiculous. Mr. R--

Quarrelled Over Night With The Master, Who Swore In Broken French

To My Man, That He Had A Good Mind To Poniard That Impertinent

Piedmontese. In The Morning, Before Day, Mr. R--, Coming Into My

Chamber, Gave Me To Understand That He Had Been Insulted By The

Landlord, Who Demanded Six And Thirty Livres For Our Supper And

Lodging. Incensed At The Rascal's Presumption, I Assured Him I

Would Make Him Take Half The Money, And A Good Beating Into The

Bargain. He Replied, That He Would Have Saved Me The Trouble Of

Beating Him, Had Not The Cameriere, Who Was A Very Sensible

Fellow, Assured Him The Padrone Was Out Of His Senses, And If

Roughly Handled, Might Commit Some Extravagance. Though I Was

Exceedingly Ruffled, I Could Not Help Laughing At The Mad

Cameriere's Palming Himself Upon R--Y, As A Sensible Fellow, And

Transferring The Charge Of Madness Upon His Master, Who Seemed To

Be Much More Knave Than Fool. While Mr. R-- Went To Mass, I

Desired The Cameriere To Bid His Master Bring The Bill, And To

Tell Him That If It Was Not Reasonable, I Would Carry Him Before

The Commandant. In The Mean Time I Armed Myself With My Sword In

One Hand And My Cane In The Other. The Inn-Keeper Immediately

Entered, Pale And Staring, And When I Demanded His Bill, He Told

Me, With A Profound Reverence That He Should Be Satisfied With

Whatever I Myself Thought Proper To Give. Surprised At This

Moderation, I Asked If He Should Be Content With Twelve Livres,

And He Answered, "Contentissimo," With Another Prostration. Then

He Made An Apology For The Bad Accommodation Of His House, And

Complained, That The Reproaches Of The Other Gentleman, Whom He

Was Pleased To Call My Majorduomo, Had Almost Turned His Brain.

When He Quitted The Room, His Cameriere, Laying Hold Of His

Master's Last Words, Pointed To His Own Forehead, And Said, He

Had Informed The Gentleman Over Night That His Patron Was Mad.

This Day We Were By A High Wind In The Afternoon, Driven For

Shelter Into Porto Mauritio, Where We Found The Post-House Even

Worse Than That Of Finale; And What Rendered It More Shocking Was

A Girl Quite Covered With The Confluent Smallpox, Who Lay In A

Room Through Which It Was Necessary To Pass To The Other

Chambers, And Who Smelled So Strong As To Perfume The Whole

House. We Were But Fifteen Miles From St. Remo, Where I Knew The

Auberge Was Tolerable, And Thither I Resolved To Travel By Land.

I Accordingly Ordered Five Mules To Travel Post, And A Very

Ridiculous Cavalcade We Formed, The Women Being Obliged To Use

Common Saddles; For In This Country Even The Ladies Sit Astride.

The Road Lay Along One Continued Precipice, And Was So Difficult,

That The Beasts Never Could Exceed A Walking Pace. In Some Places

We Were Obliged To Alight. Seven Hours Were Spent In Travelling

Fifteen Short Miles: At Length We Arrived At Our Old Lodgings In

St. Remo, Which We Found White-Washed, And In Great Order. We

Supped Pretty Comfortably; Slept Well; And Had No Reason To

Complain Of Imposition In Paying The Bill. This Was Not The Case

In The Article Of The Mules, For Which I Was Obliged To Pay Fifty

Livres, According To The Regulation Of The Posts. The Postmaster,

Who Came Along With Us, Had The Effrontery To Tell Me, That If I

Had Hired The Mules To Carry Me And My Company To St. Remo, In

The Way Of Common Travelling, They Would Have Cost Me But Fifteen 

Livres; But As I Demanded Post-Horses, I Must Submit To The

Regulations. This Is A Distinction The More Absurd, As The Road

Is Of Such A Nature As Renders It Impossible To Travel Faster In

One Way Than In Another; Nor Indeed Is There The Least Difference

Either In The Carriage Or Convenience, Between Travelling Post

And Journey Riding. A Publican Might With The Same Reason Charge

Me Three Livres A Pound For Whiting, And If Questioned About The

Imposition, Reply, That If I Had Asked For Fish I Should Have Had

The Same Whiting For The Fifth Part Of The Money: But That He

Made A Wide Difference Between Selling It As Fish, And Selling It

As Whiting. Our Felucca Came Round From Porto Mauritio In The

Night, And Embarking Next Morning, We Arrived At Nice About Four

In The Afternoon.

Thus Have I Given You A Circumstantial Detail Of My Italian

Expedition, During Which I Was Exposed To A Great Number Of

Hardships, Which I Thought My Weakened Constitution Could Not

Have Bore; As Well As To Violent Fits Of Passion, Chequered,

However, With Transports Of A More Agreeable Nature; Insomuch

That I May Say I Was For Two Months Continually Agitated Either

In Mind Or Body, And Very Often In Both At The Same Time. As My

Disorder At First Arose From A Sedentary Life, Producing A

Relaxation Of The Fibres, Which Naturally Brought On A

Listlessness, Indolence, And Dejection Of The Spirits, I Am

Convinced That This Hard Exercise Of Mind And Body, Co-Operated

With The Change Of Air And Objects, To Brace Up The Relaxed

Constitution, And Promote A More Vigorous Circulation Of The

Juices, Which Had Long Languished Even Almost To Stagnation. For

Some Years, I Had Been As Subject To Colds As A Delicate Woman

New Delivered. If I Ventured To Go Abroad When There Was The

Least Moisture Either In The Air, Or Upon The Ground, I Was Sure

To Be Laid Up A Fortnight With A Cough And Asthma. But, In This

Journey, I Suffered Cold And Rain, And Stood, And Walked In The

Wet, Heated Myself With Exercise, And Sweated Violently,

Without Feeling The Least Disorder; But, On The Contrary, Felt

Myself Growing Stronger Every Day In The Midst Of These Excesses.

Since My Return To Nice, It Has Rained The Best Part Of Two

Months, To The Astonishment Of All The People In The Country; Yet

During All That Time I Have Enjoyed Good Health And Spirits. On

Christmas-Eve, I Went To The Cathedral At Midnight, To Hear High

Mass Celebrated By The New Bishop Of Nice, In Pontificalibus, And

Stood Near Two Hours Uncovered In A Cold Gallery, Without Having

Any Cause In The Sequel To Repent Of My Curiosity. In A Word, I

Am Now So Well That I No Longer Despair Of Seeing You And The

Rest Of My Friends In England; A Pleasure Which Is Eagerly 

Desired By,--Dear Sir, Your Affectionate Humble Servant.

Dear Sir,--You Ask Whether I Think The French People Are More

Taxed Than The English; But I Apprehend, The Question Would Be

More Apropos If You Asked Whether The French Taxes Are More

Insupportable Than The English; For, In Comparing Burthens, We

Ought Always To Consider The Strength Of The Shoulders That Bear

Them. I Know No Better Way Of Estimating The Strength, Than By

Examining The Face Of The Country, And Observing The Appearance

Of The Common People, Who Constitute The Bulk Of Every Nation.

When I, Therefore, See The Country Of England Smiling With

Cultivation; The Grounds Exhibiting All The Perfection Of

Agriculture, Parcelled Out Into Beautiful Inclosures, Cornfields,

Hay And Pasture, Woodland And Common, When I See Her Meadows Well

Stocked With Black Cattle, Her Downs Covered With Sheep; When I

View Her Teams Of Horses And Oxen, Large And Strong, Fat And

Sleek; When I See Her Farm-Houses The Habitations Of Plenty,

Cleanliness, And Convenience; And Her Peasants Well Fed, Well

Lodged, Well Cloathed, Tall And Stout, And Hale And Jolly; I

Cannot Help Concluding That The People Are Well Able To Bear

Those Impositions Which The Public Necessities Have Rendered

Necessary. On The Other Hand, When I Perceive Such Signs Of

Poverty, Misery And Dirt, Among The Commonalty Of France, Their

Unfenced Fields Dug Up In Despair, Without The Intervention Of

Meadow Or Fallow Ground, Without Cattle To Furnish Manure,

Without Horses To Execute The Plans Of Agriculture; Their Farm-Houses

Mean, Their Furniture Wretched, Their Apparel Beggarly;

Themselves And Their Beasts The Images Of Famine; I Cannot Help

Thinking They Groan Under Oppression, Either From Their

Landlords, Or Their Government; Probably From Both.

The Principal Impositions Of The French Government Are These:

First, The Taille, Payed By All The Commons, Except Those That

Are Privileged: Secondly, The Capitation, From Which No Persons

(Not Even The Nobles) Are Excepted: Thirdly, The Tenths And

Twentieths, Called Dixiemes And Vingtiemes, Which Every Body

Pays. This Tax Was Originally Levied As An Occasional Aid In

Times Of War, And Other Emergencies; But By Degrees Is Become A

Standing Revenue Even In Time Of Peace. All The Money Arising

From These Impositions Goes Directly To The King's Treasury; And

Must Undoubtedly Amount To A Very Great Sum. Besides These, He

Has The Revenue Of The Farms, Consisting Of The Droits D'aydes,

Or Excise On Wine, Brandy, &C. Of The Custom-House Duties; Of The

Gabelle, Comprehending That