Travels Through France And Italy by Tobias Smollett (fastest ebook reader .txt) 📕

Expedition; Myself Wrapped Up In A Very Heavy Greatcoat, And My

Cane In My Hand. I Did Not Imagine I Could Have Walked A Couple

Of Miles In This Equipage, Had My Life Been Depending; My Wife A

Delicate Creature, Who Had Scarce Ever Walked A Mile In Her Life;

And The Ragamuffin Before Us With Our Boxes Under His Arm. The

Night Was Dark And Wet; The Road Slippery And Dirty; Not A Soul

Was Seen, Nor A Sound Was Heard: All Was Silent, Dreary, And

Horrible. I Laid My Account With A Violent Fit Of Illness From

The Cold I Should Infallibly Catch, If I Escaped Assassination,

The Fears Of Which Were The More Troublesome As I Had No Weapon

To Defend Our Lives. While I Laboured Under The Weight Of My

Greatcoat Which Made The Streams Of Sweat Flow Down My Face And

Shoulders, I Was Plunging In The Mud, Up To The Mid-Leg At Every

Step; And At The Same Time Obliged To Support My Wife, Who Wept

In Silence, Half Dead With Terror And Fatigue. To Crown Our

Vexation, Our Conductor Walked So Fast, That He Was Often Out Of

Sight, And I Imagined He Had Run Away With The Boxes. All I Could

Do On These Occasions, Was To Hollow As Loud As I Could, And

Swear Horribly That I Would Blow His Brains Out. I Did Not Know

But These Oaths And Menaces Might Keep Other Rogues In Awe. In

This Manner Did We Travel Three Long Miles, Making Almost An

Intire Circuit Of The City-Wall, Without Seeing The Face Of A

Human Creature, And At Length Reached The Gate, Where We Were

Examined By The Guard, And Allowed To Pass, After They Had Told

Us It Was A Long Mile From Thence To The House Of Vanini, Where

We Proposed To Lodge. No Matter, Being Now Fairly Within The 

City, I Plucked Up My Spirits, And Performed The Rest Of The

Journey With Such Ease, That I Am Persuaded, I Could Have Walked

At The Same Pace All Night Long, Without Being Very Much

Fatigued. It Was Near Ten At Night, When We Entered The Auberge

In Such A Draggled And Miserable Condition, That Mrs. Vanini

Almost Fainted At Sight Of Us, On The Supposition That We Had Met

With Some Terrible Disaster, And That The Rest Of The Company

Were Killed. My Wife And I Were Immediately Accommodated With Dry

Stockings And Shoes, A Warm Apartment, And A Good Supper, Which I

Ate With Great Satisfaction, Arising Not Only From Our Having

Happily Survived The Adventure, But Also From A Conviction That

My Strength And Constitution Were Wonderfully Repaired: Not But

That I Still Expected A Severe Cold, Attended With A Terrible Fit

Of The Asthma: But In This I Was Luckily Disappointed. I Now For

The First Time Drank To The Health Of My Physician Barazzi, Fully

Persuaded That The Hardships And Violent Exercise I Underwent By

Following His Advice, Had Greatly Contributed To The Re-Establishment

Of My Health. In This Particular, I Imitate The

Gratitude Of Tavernier, Who Was Radically Cured Of The Gout By A

Turkish Aga In Aegypt, Who Gave Him The Bastinado, Because He

Would Not Look At The Head Of The Bashaw Of Cairo, Which The Aga

Had In A Bag, To Be Presented To The Grand Signior At

Constantinople.

I Did Not Expect To See The Rest Of Our Company That Night, As I

Never Doubted But They Would Stay With The Coach At The Inn On

The Other Side Of The Arno: But At Mid-Night We Were Joined By

Miss C-- And Mr. R--, Who Had Left The Carriage At The Inn, Under

The Auspices Of The Captain And My Servant, And Followed Our

Foot-Steps By Walking From The Ferry-Boat To Florence, Conducted

By One Of The Boatmen. Mr. R-- Seemed To Be Much Ruffled And

Chagrined; But, As He Did Not Think Proper To Explain The Cause,

He Had No Right To Expect That I Should Give Him Satisfaction

For Some Insult He Had Received From My Servant. They Had Been

Exposed To A Variety Of Disagreeable Adventures From The

Impracticability Of The Road. The Coach Had Been Several Times In

The Most Imminent Hazard Of Being Lost With All Our Baggage; And

At One Place, It Was Necessary To Hire A Dozen Of Oxen, And As

Many Men, To Disengage It From The Holes Into Which It Had Run.

It Was In The Confusion Of These Adventures, That The Captain And

His Valet, Mr. R-- And My Servant, Had Like To Have Gone All By

The Ears Together. The Peace Was With Difficulty Preserved By The

Interposition Of Miss C--, Who Suffered Incredibly From Cold And

Wet, Terror, Vexation, And Fatigue: Yet Happily No Bad

Consequence Ensued. The Coach And Baggage Were Brought Safely

Into Florence Next Morning, When All Of Us Found Ourselves Well

Refreshed, And In Good Spirits. I Am Afraid This Is Not The Case

With You, Who Must By This Time Be Quite Jaded With This Long

Epistle, Which Shall Therefore Be Closed Without Further Ceremony

By,--Yours Always.

Dear Sir,--The Season Being Far Advanced, And The Weather Growing

Boisterous, I Made But A Short Stay At Florence, And Set Out For

Pisa, With Full Resolution To Take The Nearest Road To Lerici,

Where We Proposed To Hire A Felucca For Genoa. I Had A Great

Desire To See Leghorn And Lucca; But The Dread Of A Winter's

Voyage By Sea In An Open Boat Effectually Restrained My

Curiosity. To Avoid The Trouble Of Having Our Baggage Shifted

Every Post, I Hired Two Chaises To Pisa For A Couple Of Zequines,

And There We Arrived In Safety About Seven In The Evening, Though

Not Without Fear Of The Consequence, As The Calesses Were Quite

Open, And It Rained All The Way. I Must Own I Was So Sick Of The

Wretched Accommodation One Meets With In Every Part Of Italy,

Except The Great Cities, So Averse To The Sea At This Season, And

So Fond Of The City Of Pisa, That I Should Certainly Have Stayed

Here The Winter, Had Not I Been Separated From My Books And

Papers, As Well As From Other Conveniencies And Connexions Which

I Had At Nice; And Foreseen That The Thoughts Of Performing The

Same Disagreeable Voyage In The Spring Would Imbitter My Whole

Winter's Enjoyment. I Again Hired Two Calesses For Lerici,

Proposing To Lie At Sarzana, Three Miles Short Of That Place,

Where We Were Told We Should Find Comfortable Lodging, And To

Embark Next Day Without Halting. When We Departed In The Morning,

It Rained Very Hard, And The Cerchio, Which The Chaises Had

Formerly Passed, Almost Without Wetting The Wheels, Was Now

Swelled To A Mighty River, Broad And Deep And Rapid. It Was With

Great Difficulty I Could Persuade My Wife To Enter The Boat; For

It Blew A Storm, And She Had Seen It In Coming Over From The

Other Side Hurried Down A Considerable Way By The Rapidity Of The

Current, Notwithstanding All The Efforts Of The Watermen. Near

Two Hours Were Spent In Transporting Us With Our Chaises. The

Road Between This And Pietra Santa Was Rendered Almost

Impassable. When We Arrived At Massa, It Began To Grow Dark, And

The Post-Master Assured Us That The Road To Sarzana Was

Overflowed In Such A Manner As Not To Be Passed Even In The Day-Time,

Without Imminent Danger. We Therefore Took Up Our Lodging

For The Night At This House, Which Was In All Respects One Of The

Worst We Had Yet Entered. Next Day, We Found The Magra As Large

And Violent As The Cerchio: However, We Passed It Without Any

Accident, And In The Afternoon Arrived At Lerici. There We Were

Immediately Besieged By A Number Of Patrons Of Feluccas, From

Among Whom I Chose A Spaniard, Partly Because He Looked Like An

Honest Man, And Produced An Ample Certificate, Signed By An

English Gentleman; And Partly, Because He Was Not An Italian;

For, By This Time, I Had Imbibed A Strong Prejudice Against The

Common People Of That Country. We Embarked In The Morning Before 

Day, With A Gale That Made Us Run The Lee-Gunwale In The Water;

But, When We Pretended To Turn The Point Of Porto Venere, We

Found The Wind Full In Our Teeth, And Were Obliged To Return To

Our Quarters, Where We Had Been Shamefully Fleeced By The

Landlord, Who, Nevertheless, Was Not Such An Exorbitant Knave As

The Post-Master, Whose House I Would Advise All Travellers To

Avoid. Here, Indeed, I Had Occasion To See An Instance Of

Prudence And Oeconomy, Which I Should Certainly Imitate, If Ever

I Had Occasion To Travel This Way By

Myself. An Englishman, Who Had Hired A Felucca From Antibes To

Leghorn, Was Put In Here By Stress Of Weather; But Being Aware Of

The Extortion Of Innkeepers, And The Bad Accommodation In Their

Houses, He Slept On Board On His Own Mattrasses; And There

Likewise He Had All His Conveniencies For Eating. He Sent His

Servant On Shore Occasionally To Buy Provision, And See It Cooked

According To His Direction In Some Public House; And Had His

Meals Regularly In The Felucca. This Evening He Came Ashore To

Stretch His Legs, And Took A Solitary Walk On The Beach, Avoiding

Us With Great Care, Although He Knew We Were English; His Valet

Who Was Abundantly Communicative, Told My Servant, That In Coming

Through France, His Master Had Travelled Three Days In Company

With Two Other English Gentlemen, Whom He Met Upon The Road, And

In All That Time He Never Spoke A Word To Either, Yet In Other

Respects, He Was A Good Man, Mild, Charitable, And Humane. This

Is A Character Truly British. At Five O'clock In The Morning We

Put To Sea Again, And Though The Wind Was Contrary, Made Shift To

Reach The Town Of Sestri Di Levante, Where We Were Most

Graciously Received By The Publican Butcher And His Family. The

House Was In Much Better Order Than Before; The People Were Much

More Obliging; We Passed A Very Tolerable Night, And Had A Very

Reasonable Bill To Pay In The Morning. I Cannot Account For This

Favourable Change Any Other Way, Than By Ascribing It To The

Effects Of A Terrible Storm, Which Had Two Days Before Torn