The Arabian Nights Entertainments by Anonymous (best books to read .txt) 📕

with my beard. The slave told him, that it was to no purpose to have parted with his whiskers, if he would not also part with his beard, which could never agree with a woman's dress; and she wondered that a man, who was on the point of enjoying the finest lady in Bagdad, should have any regard to his beard. The old woman threatened him with the loss of the young lady's favour, so that at last he let them do what they would. When he was dressed like a woman, they brought him before the young lady, who laughed so heartily when she saw him, that she fell backward on the sofa where she sat. The slaves laughed and clapped their hands, so that my brother was quite out of countenance. The young lady got up, and still laughing, said to him, After so much complaisance for me, I should be very much in the wrong not to love you with all my heart: but there is one thing more you must do for me; and that is, to dance as we do. He obeyed; and the young lady and her slaves danced with him, laughing as if they had been mad. After they had danced some time with him, they all fell upon the poor wretch, and did so box and kick him, that he fell down like one out of his senses. The old woman helped him up again; and that he might not have time to think of his ill treatment, she bid him take courage, and whispered in his ear that all his sufferings were at an end, and that he was just about to receive his reward.

You have only one thing more to do, and that is but a small one. You must know that my mistress has a custom, when she has drank a little, as you see she has done to-day, to let nobody that she loves come near her, except they are stripped to their shirt; and when they have done so, she takes a little advantage of them, and sets a running before them through the gallery, and from chamber to chamber, till they catch her. This is one more of her humours: what advantage soever she takes of you, considering your nimbleness, and inclination to the work, you will soon overtake her; strip yourself, then, to the shirt, and undress yourself without delay.

My silly brother, said the barber, had done too much to stick at any thing now. He undressed himself; and, in the mean time, the young lady was stripped to her shift and under-petticoat, that she might run the more nimbly. When they were ready to run, the young lady took the advantage of twenty paces, and then fell a running with surprising swiftness: my brother followed her as fast as he could, the slaves in the mean time laughing aloud and clapping their hands. The young lady, instead of losing ground, gained upon my brother: she made him run three or four times round the gallery, and then running into a long dark entry, got away by a passage which she knew. Backbarah, who still followed her, having lost sight of her in the entry, was obliged to slacken his pace, because of the darkness of the place: at last perceiving a light, he ran towards it, and went out at a door, which was immediately shut upon him. You may imagine he was mightily surprised to find himself in a street inhabited by curriers, and they were no less surprised to see him in his shirt, his eye-brows painted red, and without beard or mustachos; they began to clap their hands and shout at him, some of them even ran after him, and lashed his buttocks with pieces of leather. Then they stopped, and set him upon an ass, which they met by chance, and carried him through the town exposed to the laughter of the people.

To complete his misfortune, as he went by the house of a justice of peace, he would needs know the cause of the tumult. The curriers told him, that they saw him come out in that condition at the gate of the apartment of the grand vizier's lady, which opened into their street; upon which the justice ordered unfortunate Backbarah to have an hundred blows with a cane on the soles of his feet, and sent him out of the town, with orders never to return again.

Thus, commander of the faithful, said I to the caliph Monstancer Billah, I have given an account of the adventure of my second brother, who did not know that our greatest ladies divert themselves sometimes by putting such tricks upon young people that are foolish enough to be caught in their snares.

THE STORY OF THE BARBER'S THIRD BROTHER.

Commander of the faithful, said he to the caliph, my third brother, whose name was Backback, was blind, and his ill destiny reduced him to beg from door to door. He had been so long accustomed to walk through the streets alone, that he had no need of one to lead him: he had a custom to knock at people's doors, and apt to answer till they opened to him. One day he knocked thus at a door, and the master of the house, who was alone, cried, Who is there? My brother gave no answer, and knocked a second time: the master of the house asked again, Who is there? but to no purpose; my brother did not answer: upon which the man of the house came down, opened the door, and asked my brother what he wanted. That you would give me something, for heaven's sake! said Backback. You seem to be blind, replied the master of the house. Yes, to my sorrow, said my brother. Give me your hand, said the master of the house. My brother did so, thinking he was going to give him alms; but he only took him by the hand, to lead him up to his chamber: Backback thought he had been carrying him to dinner with him, as several other people had done. When they came up to the chamber, the man loosed his hand out of my brother's, and sitting down, asked again what he wanted. I have already told you, said Backback, that I want something for God's sake. Good blind man, replied the master of the house, all that I can do for you is to wish that God may restore you your sight. You might have told me that at the door, said my brother, and not have given me the trouble to come up. And why, fool, said the man of the house, do you not answer at first, when people ask you who is there? Why do you give any body the trouble to come and open the door when they speak to you? What will you do with me, then? said my brother. I tell you again, said the man of the house, I have nothing to give you. Help me down stairs, then, replied Backback, as you helped me up. The stairs are before you, said the man of the house, and you may go down alone if you will. My brother went to go down, but missing a step about the middle of the stairs, he fell down and hurt his head and his back: he got up again with a great deal of difficulty, and complained heavily of the master of the house, who only laughed at his fall.

As my brother went out of the house, two blind men, his companions, going by, knew him by his voice, and asked him what was the matter. He told them what had happened to him, and afterwards said, I have eaten nothing to-day; I conjure you to go along with me to my house, that I may take some of the money that we three have in common, to buy me something for supper. The two blind men agreed to it, and they went home with him.

You must know that the master of the house where my brother was so ill used, was a highwayman, and naturally cunning and malicious. He heard at his window what Backback had said to his companions, and therefore came down and followed them to my brother's house. The blind men being seated, Backback said to them, brethren, we must shut the door, and take care there be no strangers with us. At this the highwayman was much perplexed, but perceiving a rope hanging down from a beam, he caught hold of it, and hung by it, while the blind men shut the door, and felt about the room with their sticks. When they had done this, and sat down again in their places, the highwayman left his rope, and sat down softly by my brother, who thinking himself alone with his blind comrades, said to them, Brothers, since you have trusted me with the money, which we all three have gathered a long time, I will show you that I am not unworthy of the trust that you repose in me. The last time we reckoned, you know we had ten thousand drams, and that we put them into ten bags; I will show you that I have not touched one of them. Having said so, he put his hand among some old lumber, and taking out the bags, one after another, gave them to his comrades, saying, There they are; you may judge by their weight that they are whole, or you may tell them if you please. His comrades answered, there was no occasion, they did not mistrust him; so opened one of the bags, and took out ten drams, and each of the other blind men did the like.

My brother put the bags into their place again; after which one of them said to him, There is no need to lay out any thing for supper, for I have got as much provision from good people as will serve us all three. At the same time he took out of his bag bread and cheese, and some fruit; and, putting them all upon the table, they began to eat. The highwayman, who sat at my brother's right hand, picked out the best, and ate with them; but, whatever care he took to make no noise, Backback heard his jaws going, and cried out immediately, We are undone! there is a stranger among us! and having said so, he stretched out his hand, and catching hold of the highwayman by the arm, cried out, Thieves! fell upon him, and boxed him. The other blind men fell upon him in like manner, and the highwayman defended himself as well as he could; but being young and vigorous, and having the advantage of his eyes, he gave furious blows, sometimes to one, sometimes to another, as he could come at them, and cried out Thieves! louder than they did. The neighbours came running at the noise, broke open the door, and had much ado to separate the combatants; but, having at last done it, they asked the cause of their quarrel. My brother, who still had hold of the highwayman, cried out, Gentlemen, this man I have hold of is a thief, and stole in with us on purpose to rob us of the little money we have. The thief, who shut his eyes as soon as the neighbours came, feigned himself also to be blind, and cried out, Gentlemen, he is a liar. I swear to you by Heaven, and by the life of the caliph, that I am their companion, and they refuse to give me my just share! They have all three fallen upon me, and I demand justice. The neighbours would not meddle with their quarrel, but carried them all before a judge.

When they came before the magistrate, the highwayman, without staying to be examined, cried out, still feigning himself to be blind, Sir, since you are deputed to administer justice by the caliph, whom God prosper, I declare to you that we are equally criminal, my three comrades and I; but we have all engaged upon oath to confess nothing unless we be bastinadoed; so that if you would know our crime, you need only order us to be bastinadoed, and begin with me. My brother would have spoken, but was not allowed to do so; and the highwayman was put under the bastinado.

The robber, being under the bastinado, had the courage to bear twenty or thirty blows; when, seeming to be overcome with pain he first opened one eye, and then the other; and, crying out for mercy, begged the judge would put a stop to the blows, The judge, perceiving that he looked upon him with