If He Only Knew by Shy Shy (good books to read for young adults .txt) 📕

get yours, you gon end up with fucking AIDS cause you don't know how to keep your dick in your pants!  I'm done with you, I love you but I have been stupid and I'm fucking done!"

She looked at me and said, "I'm sorry for my language and I thank you for allowing me to come over here and show you just how worthless your man is, because he's been playing us both, and I hope for your sake, you can leave him alone just like I'm doing, because he will use you up till he can't use you anymore."

I told her she was welcome and walked her out of the front door.

Leaving

 Lance was leaving, he had until Friday.  He begged and pleaded for forgiveness giving the dumbest answers I ever heard for his cheating ass. 

 

He thought that I was suspicious and sending messages from work just like I do him.....Stupid.

He was afraid of not having someone to fall back on.....Stupid.

He was just using her and playing games.....Stupid

She was the only one who came between our relationship.....Now he thinks I'm Stupid.

 

He says he is going to a shelter, but after calling around they didn't have any space for him until Friday.  Now, I've never stayed in a shelter, but I know good and well if someone says that don't have nowhere to go, if they don't have room they don't just give a date when you can come lay up on one of their cots.  Who does he think he's fooling?

 

I walked out the door feeling numb and void of any emotion.

 

After returning from the gym, I was feeling good, I hopped in the shower, and layed across my bed.  I said nothing to the piece of shit that sat at the table looking at me with sad eyes, sniffling like he had been crying.  My mental thoughts were "Fuck you and your fake ass crying".

 

 He was a wonderful chef and had prepared dinner so I didn't have to worry about it.  He didn't have to cook.  I didn't want him to, there was plenty of spagetti left from the night before when I cooked a quick meal.  I didn't always need a chef surprise and I didn't always want to cook a four course meal.  I had been missing spagetti.  I made a mental note not to eat what he prepared and to get a plate of spagetti if I chose to eat. 

 

I heard is foot steps down the hall.  He opened the door and hands me two pieces of paper.  It is a letter.

 

"I'm not trying to convince you in any way to let me stay, I just want you to read this when you have time. I will be out by Friday and all I ask is that you give me time to remove the pieces of furniture that belong to me."

 

"Ahem, all that needs to be out before the end of the weekend, you can get a storage, I don't care how you do it, just remove it without making several trips back here.  We are done, and I want to see the least of you possible."

 

"Will you still let me see the kids?"

 

My heart jumped.  I didn't know what to say.  He needed to be out of my life, like all the way out.  Just as I was about to speak there was a knock at the door.  I turned quickly to go to the living room to answer it.

 

I know that I should have looked through the peep hole, that's what they are made for, so that you can check out your visitor before opening the door to prevent unwanted contact from strangers or pestering family members.  I should have asked who it was before touching the door knob, but my mind was in a different place.  Even though, I seemed to be non emotional, my heart was breaking inside.  Lance loved my kids, probably a bit more than I thought he loved me.  My boys loved him.  He was more of a father to them than their own father.  I hated having to explain to them that Lance would be gone and he couldn't be part of our lives moving forward.  He could never be trusted again.

 

Turning the door knob, my stomach began to spin, facing the person on the other side would be my first test of how I was holding up after facing this terrible disaster that had just become apart of my life.

 

I opened the door and there she was again, angry and erect. I was confused, why was she back on my door step.  I heard footsteps behind me, I knew it was him, her body shifted when she saw him and that's when I saw it, in her left hand was a hand gun.  My eyes widened as a lump rose in my throat practically suffocating me.

"Oh my God," it was only a whisper but I knew she heard me as she raised the gun and I turned to run with her body already in the doorway.

 

POW! POW!

 

It burned, it burned so bad as my body was falling all I could think was how do I get out of this alive.  Should I play dead or should I turn around and fight?  Suddenly I felt my back jerk and retract.  I was in agony and my shoulder seered with pain.

 

"Nikki stop, what are you doing," I heard him scream.  "Don't do this, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, put the gun down!"

"You just didn't know how to stop did you? I fucking hate you and I hope you die," it was barely audible, either she was weeping or I was losing consciousness.

 

POW! POW! POW!

 

CLANK!

 

I heard the door slam.  She's gone, I thought.  Please let her be gone.  Let her be gone, and dear God, please please let me live.  Suddenly it all went black.

I Never Meant to

 Lance Pov

 

Hello?  Hello?  Where am I?  What happened?  How did I get here?  Everything is so dark.  I can't see.  Oh God, oh God, am I dead?

 

Laughter erupted from behind him.  Lance snatched his head around and finally saw light and a little house that he recognized.  He walked toward it.  Inside he could still hear laughter, the laughter of children and adults.  He knocked on the door, but no one answered.  He knocked again more intensely.  He didn't want to be rude, but he was in dire need of help, he was lost and didn't know how he got here.

 

I must have blacked out somehow.

 

Still no one came to the door.  He opened the door and stepped inside and there before him was his siblings wrestling around on the floor, and behind them he saw himself, at aged 9.  There was his brother, 6, his aunts who were growing up with him, 8 and 10 and his sneaky little sister, 5.  His mother was in the kitchen having a conversation with the devil himself, his stepfather and it looked uncomfortable and heated.  He called out to her, but she remained the same.  No one could hear him, no one knew he was there.  He saw his mother slapped to the kitchen counter by his step father.  It was a memory.  Just then he knew what would happen, is little brother Leon ran to the kitchen, hearing the screams of his mother and snatches a butcher knife off of the counter, jumped on his step father's back and plunged the knife in.

 

Just then the scene changed.  I was in a hospital and looking down, there was a baby girl in a car seat.  I saw the mother of my now fifteen year old child sitting in a wheel chair on the day of my daughter's discharge.  I remember, she was waiting for me to take them home, but I never showed up.  I could feel my heart breaking and wanted to cry, the way she was sitting there waiting for me.  Was I feeling her pain? 

 

The day Cynthia showed up at home early from work, there was a black Nissan Sentra in the driveway.  I never heard her walk in and when she opened the door to me in bed with my other girl, I remembered I didn't care, she would forgive me.  But the memory gave me a flinch.  I watched as months and months played by of her trying to forgive me, but the evidence that I was still seeing other women kept bringing it back.  Suddenly my chest was stinging and I felt rage.  I was so overwhelmed, my head wanted to explode.  I walked down the hall where my feet took me to the bedroom Cynthia and I once shared and she was standing there at the side of the bed, where my human body lay sleeping with rage in her eyes and a knife to her side and the thoughts of death in her heart.  The phone rings and as my body moved, she snapped out of it and slipped out of the room.  I remembered that day when I looked up and saw her leaving the room suddenly and wondering why she didn't answer they phone on the bed stand.  I never realized, she was on the verge of killing me that day.

 

Dozens and dozens of scenes replayed before me, the broken hearts attacking my skin, body and soul, until I saw Michelle.  I knew the pain was over.  This one, the one, I truly fell in love with.  I was shitty to her in the beginning,  I still saw Nikki and worked out ways to spend time with them both, but most of it went to Michelle.  I wanted to settle down and marry her.  After I got exposed a few months ago, I dedicated myself to making her happy and to get her to trust me again.  I did....I did continue to see Nikki every once in a while, but now Michelle and I were moved in together and I swore that I was done with all that.