If He Only Knew by Shy Shy (good books to read for young adults .txt) 📕

mother and step-father whispering in the corner.  She couldn't understand why she couldn't move, or what they were talking about.  What baby girl?  Her voice was lost somehow and her throat hurt terribly.  Everything seemed cloudy and there were white walls surrounding her.  With all her strenghth, she still didn't seem to be able to say anything.  Tired, she drifted back off, out of reality, away from the sound of her mother's worrying voice and her step-father's attempt at calming her.  Didn't he know by now, she couldn not be calmed?

 

Michelle:

 

I like it here, it's peaceful.  Looks like Africa, no drama, no labor, just utopia.

Chelle, you can't stay.

Why not?  I'm already here.

You don't belong here, I already told you that.

But daddy!  I don't want to go, I've missed you so much!  Can't I just stay a little while longer and talk with?

I've missed you too baby girl, but I've been watching you all these years, you will be okay.

If I must, I will go back, but first, please walk the praire with me, just one more time, I want to watch the children play with the animals.

Absolutely baby girl.

 

"Michelle?  Michelle?"  A gentle male's voice hovered over her calling her name.  "Oh, my God, Michelle, please wake up, I see your eyes you want to wake up".

 

Suddenly her eyes opened and standing above her was a masculine, bald, handsome young face.  Michelle didn't know who this man was, where she was, or why she was lying down with this man over top of her.  Worst off, she couldn't move, her voice was being caught by some tubing.  She was frightened at her seemingly vegetative state.

 

"Oh God, you are awake," he whispered.  "Michelle, it's okay, oh my god, I'm so happy you are awake, don't move, I'll get the doctor!"

 

"Michelle Warren, hello, I am your doctor, Dr. Spencer.  Young lady, we have been waiting on you to wake up for quite sometime now.  Now I do not want you to try and speak, but Michelle, you are in the hospital and you had some trauma to your internal organs and your lower spine.  I am going to take this pen here and use it on your foot.  Squeeze my hand if you can feel this."

 

There was a tickle under the bottom of her foot that caused Michelle to wiggle her toes just a little and she gave the doctor a light squeeze.

 

"Good Michelle."

 

There was another tickle on the bottom of her right foot.

 

"Excellent Michell!" "Wow I am really amazed.  I believe that you are going to be up and back to yourself in no time.  For now, I'm going to send in your nurse so she can go over some things with you as far as getting you back eating regularly.  Now that you are awake, I'm sorry to say, you should probably be getting some rest."

 

Dr. Spencer was talking so fast, or so it seemed, Michelle just looked at him with a blank stare, almost completely void of strenghth, should didn't even attempt to nod her head.  As she closed her eyes, the man known only as Dr. Spencer left an impression behind the shade of her lids.

 

 

Lan-Ce-Lost

Lance:

 

There was a time in my life, when I was young, I said I would grow up to be a good man, not the one that I watched use and abuse my mother.  Not the one who beat the kids who were not his and he didn't even love until they couldn't walk for days at a time.  Not the one who ran around on my mother only to watch her gravel at his feet and love him more than she loved those whom she gave life.  I was going to be a good man, start a family, have kids and love them unconditionally and see that they never had to endure the pain that I had in my lifetime if I had anything to do with it.  I was going to work hard, love my family, and overcome.

 

I blamed my ways on not being loved enough as a child.  I admit, I didn't really know how to love anyone unconditionally.  I loved every woman for conditional reasons only.  What one lacked the other one had it for me.  If she is mad, then I know the other is going to rub my back, let me attack her blissfully and then when I'm done with her, I'm on my way to the next one, selling the same dreams and the same future that was never going to happen.

 

As I moved on to my next victim, I was still stringing that crazy girl along.  Perhaps, she was a little crazier because of me.  Sure was just so crazy about me.  It was my fault though.  I kinda feel sorry for her, sorry for what I did to her, sorry for what I put her through.  I had no idea she would be that sensitive.  I made time for Nikki and Michelle, but Michelle made it so hard, that Nikki knew there had to be someone else.  I never made her a priority which is why I could go and stay away from her days at a time, weeks even, but I talked to her everyday, all day with every excuse in the world why she wasn't seeing.  I'm out of town with Michelle and my son to see my daughter, but I told her it was only me.  She didn't understand why she wasn't invited, but I told her, it was just for me and the kids.  She bought it, she always bought it, as long as it wasn't right in her face.

 

I was being more honest with myself now, more than ever.  I didn't stay over at her place anymore, because, I was always with Michelle, until she went to work.  I even adjusted my work schedule to have certain mornings off, and on Mondays to make up a few hours to see Nikki.  I wasn't as good juggling women, so it was only those two.  Michelle, ha, she's smart and she's focused.  She kept a watchful eye, but when the cat is away, the mice will play.  Honestly, she was the boss and I was the dog.  I knew it was something about her, and I wish that I had learned a long time ago to get right, but I didn't.  I thought I was going to die that night Nikki showed up and shot the both of us.   My life flashed before my eyes and all I felt was misery.  I was afraid that she took the woman that I had finally felt I never wanted to lose away from me.

 

Michelle, Michelle, I didn't know that when I met her, she would make me look at the world in a whole other way.  She was smart, funny, fun, spiritual, loving, giving, understanding.  She read me like a book that she had read over and over and knew every inch of it.  She still gave me a chance and the worst part is, she knew it would happen to her.  She once told me, I believe that I am where I am supposed to be at this time.  I don't care if I have something to do with your life changing now or later, but I know that no matter what, I would have had an impact on you, and somebody is going to get some good out of it, just because we met; even me.  I didn't know what that meant at the time, I just thought, "Girl please, I'm not changing for nobody."  I was wrong.

 

She is all I think about.  It's been six months and all I think about is the pain that I caused her and the life that she has given me.  Even though, I am confined in this space, my hopes and dreams have come alive.  Every word she has ever given me is alive.  After the investigators spoke with me for the second time about the shooting, three weeks later they came and arrested me, at the hospital.  I am in prison for larceny, a crime I committed two years ago in another state.  It's the reason I quit my job, they had been looking for me and I got scared, well, I didn't go in and they fired me.  I don't know if it was for not going to work or that I made their establishment look bad by cops coming in to look for me.  I knew, Nikki was the one who ratted me out after I wouldn't return any of her phone calls.

 

I've tried calling Michelle, but she wouldn't take the calls.  Today, I received a letter.

 

Dear Lance,

 

It has been a while.  I have seen the prison calls, but I am not one to accept those type of calls, especially if I can't stand the person calling.  I decided to write you, because this is something that even if you forget, you can always read over it, or just discard it.

I want you to know that I am no longer angry with you or her.  I have overcome that.  It wasn't all her fault and I must say, you share the blame.  I am completely healed now and I am back to work.  I think of you from time to time.  I pray for you when I do.  I know that jail isn't for you.  We all make mistakes, it doesn't make you a bad person, just someone whom I hope learns from their mistakes.  I have faith that you will have learned some very valuable lessons about life when you walk out of those doors.  Please, don't ponder on what happened and what happened between us.  I forgive you.

 

Sincerely,

 

Michelle Spencer

 

  I called home to my sister Nessie.

 

"Hello?"

"Hey Ness, how are you?"

"Hey baby brother, I'm good, how are you?"

"Let me ask you something. Have you talked to Michelle lately?  I was just wondering how she is doing."

"I knew you had to be calling about something.  Yes, Lance, actually I have."

"Well, how is she doing, and I'm sorry sis, I love you, she's just really been on my mind lately."

"That's fine, glad to hear from you anyway.  Well, Chelle is doing just fine, she actually left town Sunday."

"Oh yeah, well I'm glad she is doing okay.  Could you please tell her that I asked about her."

"----------------Lance, I think that maybe you should start forgetting about Michelle.  I don't think that she would want that message."

"Well why not?  Nessie, I know I wasn't the best man to her, but I'm hoping with parole next week, I can come home and show her that I have changed and win her heart back.  You never heard me say that I wanted to get married ever.  I wanted to be a bachelor all my life.  I want to show her and marry her.  I have to win her back."

"----------Ahem,----------Lance, Michelle went out of town on her honeymoon."

"Excuse me?  Ness, that isn't funny, I'm trying to be serious with you and you think it's all fun and games, I want to marry her!"

"I'm not playing games or trying to be funny Lance.  Michelle got married Saturday, I was one of her brides maids.  I'm sorry.

"Are you really telling me that