Spirit of Contradiction by Charles Dufresny (smallest ebook reader .txt) 📕

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Townly: That will tie it up.

Nelson: That's the trick. Here are a hundred pounds, Lucas.

Lucas: It's necessary to tie two knots to do the job right. For there remains the little matter of putting Madam in the mood to cross you.

Townly: Let's try to do it immediately--our lawyer has been called, the marriage contract is ready.

Lucas: Yes, but to finish this properly she must be put into a rage. I know the secret of irritating her. When she comes to inspect my garden I will pretend not to say a word. Instead, I will scrape the ground with my shovel--that will infuriate her. I will shake my head--she'll take that for opposition and begin to argue; the fire will ignite, and when her spirit is aflame--she will remember that she is an honest woman and that she told you and you deceived her. And here she is now. I will get her going, then you come in and announce you've decided on Young Richly.

(Exit Nelson and Townly, then enter Mrs. Townly)

Mrs. Townly: You were there quite a while with my husband. Apparently, he knows the one he wants for a son-in-law. Is it Mr. Richly or Mr. Nelson, as I advised him?

Lucas: (turning his hat) HMMM!

Mrs. Townly: You turn your hat. That means my husband didn't take my advice.

Lucas: (shaking his head) PRRR!

Mrs. Townly: Mr. Nelson, you say is not to my husband's taste--and he prefers Richly?

Lucas: Heh, heh, heh.

Mrs. Townly: Because he is younger? Or because Richly is more pleasing to my daughter?

Lucas: Oh, well--

Mrs. Townly: What! You think that the solid wealth of Mr. Nelson is not preferable--

Lucas: Well--

Mrs. Townly: I get mad when I hear nonsense like this.

Lucas: But, but, but--

Mrs. Townly: False reasoning, all of it.

Lucas: (striking the ground with his foot) The devil!

Mrs. Townly: And everything you have told me is what my husband told you?

Lucas: Pah fan goo.

Mrs. Townly: So you've told me word for word everything he said. Well, let me tell you, in spite of him--

Lucas: Han.

Mrs. Townly: Yes, in spite of him. In his teeth.

Lucas: Pao.

Mrs. Townly: Yes. He takes a high handed tone like that with me.

Lucas: Pa, ta, ta.

Mrs. Townly: He will see that I am the boss.

Lucas: Puff.

Mrs. Townly: Oh, that's too much. Husband, you cross me, you insult me, you outrage me!

(Lucas signals Townly to come in and places Townly beside his wife; Lucas exits)

Mrs. Townly: (seeing him after a moment in Lucas' place) Continue, sir, continue. I really want to know where you get the things you say to me.

Townly: I didn't say a word.

Mrs. Townly: Go ahead, be brave. It takes a lot to get me worked up.

Townly: It's true that I've come to speak to you.

Mrs. Townly: To speak to me without reason, without sense, that Mr. Nelson wouldn't be good for my daughter.

Townly: Still, Richly--

Mrs. Townly: Don't say another word--

Townly: I ask you to consider Richly.

Mrs. Townly: No, sir. Richly presents nothing worthy of my consideration.

Townly: Well, for my sake then--

Mrs. Townly: >From today, I give my daughter to Mr. Nelson.

Townly: But the reason.

Mrs. Townly: The reason is that I wish it. And to prove that I am right it's going to happen as I wish and immediately. Mr. Nelson is here. Get ready to sign the papers.

(Exit Mrs. Townly to the house, and after a moment enter Lucas)

Townly: Well--did I play my part well?

Lucas: Like an expert this time. She is going to do what we want willingly and for the first time in her life.

Townly: There--is the lawyer here?

Lucas: I'll go see. And when I see her, I am going to tell her I like Richly better. To add a little fuel to the fire.

(Exit Lucas)

(Enter Angelica)

Townly: We've done wonderfully, daughter.

Angelica: I've heard. I was under the swing with the lawyer--he's just come. It's time and he's on schedule.

Townly: I am going to speak to him. Go quickly and rejoin your mother.

(Exit Townly)

Angelica: Things are at the point where I wish them. And the measures I have taken will succeed. Watch and see what happens.

(Exit Angelica; after a moment enter Mrs. Townly and a Lackey)

Mrs. Townly: Tell me child, where did you get this letter from? Who is your master?

Lackey: I am forbidden to tell you that--and to prevent you from forcing it out of me, I am leaving right away.

(Exit Lackey)

Mrs. Townly: Now what's this mystery?

(Reading low) Hmm, hmm, hmm. "I advise you that your daughter is in communication with Mr. Nelson and wants to marry him and to make you sign the wedding contract, they have a lawyer ready who will appear as if by chance." Indeed, that's the lawyer I just saw with Angelica. The warning is obviously true. "In a word your husband pretended not to want Nelson so you would prefer him." So! Mr. Nelson is the choice of my husband.

(Enter Lucas and Townly)

Lucas: Courage, sir. Tell her quickly that I am against Mr. Nelson.

Townly: Listen, my dear wife--

Lucas: I tell you that--

Townly: I want you to know that--

Lucas: (to Mrs. Townly) That I and your husband--

Townly: You say that you want Mr. Nelson for a son-in-law, right? I tell you that my daughter doesn't want him.

Lucas: The matter is a little delicate.

Mrs. Townly: It isn't my daughter's will or mine that ought to decide--it's yours my husband--and in this and in everything else, you are master.

Lucas: As for me, I think--

Mrs. Townly: You're a good advisor, Lucas, and I willingly listen to your advice.

Townly: In a word, my wife, you have proposed Mr. Nelson to me, and I don't want him.

Mrs. Townly: Let's speak softly. I love peace and harmony. I will do whatever you find most agreeable.

Townly: (aloud) What's agreeable to me is

(low) not to have such complaisance about this.

Mrs. Townly: To me it's to have a husband that I love and respect.

Townly: You're joking, but I tell you Mr. Nelson is not to my taste.

Mrs. Townly: Your taste determines mine and I tell you I won't give another thought to Mr. Nelson.

Townly: Lucas?

Lucas: (low) Try harder. Her contradictory spirit isn't on fire yet.

Townly: Tell me, Madam, are you making fun of me?

Mrs. Townly: But what makes you think that when I give you my word?

Lucas: Good! Your word comes and goes like the air.

Mrs. Townly: (sweetly) Wait till you see.

Lucas: You can't make up your mind.

Mrs. Townly: To prove my sincerity and my submission, I am going this moment to forbid Mr. Nelson to set foot in this house.

(Exit Mrs. Townly)

Townly: I believe she's going to do it. What should have caused this miracle?

Lucas: Listen, it must be that--

Townly: It would be, just my luck. The only time in her life she doesn't contradict me it's to contradict me.

Lucas: For her to obey you is not natural.

Townly: I am going to see what's happening. I still don't believe it.

(Exit Townly)

Nelson: (entering) Well, well, Lucas. We are going to sign the contract. Here's the money I promised you--

Lucas: Madam is going to give you your walking papers--she's looking for you to do just that.

Nelson: She doesn't want me, you say?

Lucas: Something has happened, I don't know exactly what. Wait for me here, I'm going to see for myself.

(Exit Lucas)

Nelson: I love waiting for this little Angelica--but I'm joking about that. If I don't marry her, I can marry at least four others.

(Enter Angelica followed by Edward who is determined to fathom her tricks)

Nelson: Well, well, poor girl, it's bad for you. You won't get married.

Angelica: What an irritating thing.

Nelson: It makes me mad, but I'm easy. You're crying because you love me, and that's swell. Don't cry, come on, don't cry. You'll make me do it, too.

Angelica: Go quickly, join my father, second him, speak together to my mother. Beg her. Press her.

Nelson: Shh! Shh! There's your other lover who's listening.

Angelica: Ha--are you there, Mr. Richly?

Edward: What I've just heard, what you've just said, has exposed you to me. The lawyer I've just been with proved sufficiently your betrayal, but you aren't worthy of my reproaches. I will take the way of scorn and silence.

(Shouting) Don't wait for me, nor beg, nor reproach--ingrate! No, faithless one, no traitress--

Nelson: Do you call this the way of silence?

Edward: Just Heaven--

Nelson: What are you complaining of? That she promised you something?

Edward: Nothing at all, Mr. Nelson. I would like to know indeed, sir, by what right you insult me? How, I beg you, can you have any hope? First of all, my father has as much money as you--and the little merit that you have--

Nelson: (showing his hand) Why, do you see this hand? These five fingers alone are worth more than all your father's wealth.

Angelica: For me, I prefer Mr. Nelson's good nature to this wild passion which you never give up--

Nelson: Fie! He's crazy in love--like in a novel.

Angelica: His kind words touch me more than your despairing face.

Nelson: I've heard it said that women don't care for the affected, but I pity him. Go young man, go--console yourself. I will lend you some money.

Edward: Why, damn you, sir--

Angelica: (taking Edward by the arm) You're beside yourself. Go away, I beg you. I don't like to be bothered like that.

Nelson: Hey, me either. I'm going to rejoin your father.

(Low to Angelica) I order you to get rid of him. Give him his walking papers and come find me.

(Exit Nelson)

Edward: Your procedure seems to me so outre that I cannot believe that you are feigning. I don't flatter myself, but if you were pretending because Nelson was around--now he is gone--justify yourself!

(Enter Mrs. Townly)

Mrs. Townly: (aside) My daughter alone with Richly!

Edward: Justify yourself--or admit you have betrayed me. Speak, we are alone.

Angelica: I will speak to you just as I spoke in the presence of Mr. Nelson. My father wants me to marry him and I tell you I am delighted.

Edward: Oh! I give up. No more explanations. I am going to find your mother.

Angelica: Go, sir, go, you can tell her that I want no part of you.

Edward: (seeing Mrs. Townly) Have you heard, Madam? I am betrayed, Madam. For it is no longer time to hide from you my love for this ingrate--you see she has betrayed me.

Mrs. Townly: I feel sorry for you, sir. You see father and daughter plotted against you and me, too. I enter into your feelings because I always sympathize with the feelings of others.

Edward: No. After what she's done,