Spirit of Contradiction by Charles Dufresny (smallest ebook reader .txt) 📕

I never wish to speak of her again.

Mrs. Townly: I swear to you I have no objection to your proposing to my daughter.

Edward: You propose her to me in vain.

Mrs. Townly: But to prove to you, a reasonable man, that reason alone guides me in all I do--I wish to offer you--

Edward: I refuse your offers, Madam. I am not a man to force her inclinations.

Mrs. Townly: So that I may have the pleasure of avenging you on my husband, on my daughter--on all those who conspire to contradict me--I beg you, sir.

Edward: Can't do it.

Mrs. Townly: What! You contradict me, too? Oh, I will do so much for you, if you will marry my daughter!

Angelica: What! Mother! You wouldn't marry me against my will?

Mrs. Townly: Against your will, daughter? Don't think of it--because you have no will, remember?

Angelica: Alas, when I spoke to you thus, I didn't speak sincerely. Why will you prevent a rich match with Mr. Nelson?

Mrs. Townly: He's got more wealth than you deserve.

Angelica: Hey, mother, I beg you--

Mrs. Townly: Shut up! I know all your tricks. The lawyer told me everything. You wanted to betray me. To expose me to the will of a husband! To punish you I will make you sign the contract you drew up against me. Only, I'm going to fill in the name of Richly.

(Exit Mrs. Townly)

Edward: No, Madam, I will never sign. I prefer to die rather than marry your daughter.

Angelica: (imitating him) I prefer to die rather than marry your daughter-- You say it very naturally.

Edward: As I feel it, ingrate.

Angelica: And as I wished it. For if you had done it to persuade my mother it wouldn't have worked for it wouldn't have sounded right. You could not have deceived her if you hadn't been deceived yourself.

Edward: Explain yourself.

Angelica: To make my mother agree to what I want it was also necessary to deceive my father. He tried to trick her naturally enough, and when I saw how they were working for Mr. Nelson, by pretending the contrary, I sent her an anonymous letter explaining what they were up to. And it did the trick. Seeing all the world against you, she has taken your part--and wishes to make us marry to contradict them--and you, too.

Edward: Can what I hear be true? Misfortune overwhelms me, and joy confounds me. But I don't know which.

Angelica: I don't want you to show it until after the signature. I fear some indiscreet transport of joy. No, Edward, don't believe yet that I love you.

Edward: (wildly) Ah! Darling, Angelica--divine lady--

Angelica: Someone's coming. Keep pretending.

(Enter Lucas)

Angelica: No, Edward, no. I will not be married to you against my will.

Lucas: No, dammit, it will not be against your will--for you'll marry him with joy. But it may not happen yet for I doubt you can both scheme together or that you can pretend to be pretending. Your mother's on her way, but I've warned you so that you may deceive her.

Angelica: Ah! Heavens.

Edward: How wretched you are!

Lucas: For you it will be wretched. For Madam changes her mind quickly if she suspects for a minute that you want it too. That's too bad cause, Mr. Nelson promised me a hundred pounds.

Edward: You rogue. Why didn't you ask for two hundred from me?

Lucas: There's no time. Madam knows all. Meanwhile, if I take your money it will be true that Madam knows all--for dammit she knows nothing.

Angelica: Ah, my poor Lucas.

Edward: Wait, take my purse.

Lucas: And here comes Madam returning. I am going to assist you.

(Enter Mrs. Townly, Mr. Townly, Mr. Nelson, and the lawyer)

Lucas: Come quickly, Madam, see the young folks are fighting. Come quickly, separate them. They find everything the other one says enraging--so much so that I would think they are already married.

Mrs. Townly: Does my daughter revolt against me! Insolent! You here, too, sir.

(To Nelson) Leave instantly.

Nelson: Go, go. I am more complacent than you. You kick me out and I'm leaving.

Mrs. Townly: You're a brute.

Nelson: Goodbye old battle cruiser.

Mrs. Townly: A booby, a simpleton.

Nelson: I never contradict anyone.

(Exit Nelson)

Townly: Really, my dear wife--

Mrs. Townly: Shut up, my dear husband--

Lawyer: May I dare explain to you, Madam--

Mrs. Townly: I am delighted that you are all against Young Richly. He lacked only you. Give me the contract that I may sign-- (signing) Come, Angelica, sign after me. Obey me.

Angelica: (signing) I still can't be married, because my father won't sign, so there.

Mrs. Townly: (to Edward) To oblige you, sir, I have put a gift for you in the contract.

Edward: (signing) Hey! I didn't do it because of the gift. Go ahead, sir, don't waste a minute for fear Madam will change her mind.

(Townly pushed by his wife, signs)

Lawyer: These proceedings are closed. (Folds up the contract, bows and exits)

(Lucas whispers to Mrs. Townly)

Mrs. Townly: What do you say?

Lucas: I wish to say simply that they love each other.

Townly: And I only wanted to marry her. No matter to whom.

Mrs. Townly: I've been betrayed.

Angelica: I throw myself at your feet, mama.

Edward: A thousand pardons, Madam.

Mrs. Townly: I will never pardon you in my life.

Townly: You signed.

Mrs. Townly: Yes, but I will disinherit her. I will never see my son-in-law again. I will divorce my husband. I will hang Lucas and the lawyer. I am going crazy.

(Mrs. Townly runs out in a fury)

Edward: We'd better bring her back before she does something dangerous.

Townly: So much for the spirit of contradiction.

CURTAIN
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Publication Date: 05-20-2010

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