Beloved or Betrayed *(incomplete) by shay prinkey (top ten books to read txt) 📕

nothing is wrong with me so im not sure why you called him to come up here." i said grouchily. "okay." she said sadly and walked away. I got up and went up stairs to take a shower. I felt so lifeless. I wasnt sure why but i really just didnt feel like being around people. I was touching my hair up with the straightener when i heard a light knock on my door. I sighed and went to open it. It was my dad and ty. "good morning birthday girl." ty said. "good morning." i said letting them into my messy room. My dads eyes went from corner to corner and so did ty's. I rolled my eyes. "happy birthday alana. How are you this morning?" my dad said grimly. "im pretty good actually." i said. "mhm well i come to give you your birthday money and tell you that im repoing your car." he joked. I half smiled and said "oh no dad please dont take the car i havent drove in almost two weeks." my dads smile went to a frown instantly. Ty's face lit up with shock. "tyler could you give alana and i a moment." my dad ask polietly. "sure. ill be down stairs." he said quietly. When ty left the room my dad leaned against the wall. "okay so your going to tell me whats wrong with you and your going to tell me now. Your mom has called me everyday for the last week saying you refuse to leave the couch less need leaving the house. Then tyler called me and said he hasnt heard from you. What is going on?" he said angrily. I shrugged. "why does anything have to be going on dad. I just didnt feel like being bothered. Ive spent the last two years being bothered non stop. Ive been through hell and honestly i just wanted a break."  My dad sighed rubbing his head. "look alana your about to dive into life head first. you have to understand that your going to be bothered nonstop for the rest of your life. you cant just fold up on a couch and give up on civilization. But honestly you are lying to me. I can tell by the look in your eyes. So lets try this again." He said. I looked at him and sighed. "i dont know dad. i just really havent felt like doing anything. there is no reason behind it. ive just been unmotivated." i admitted. "well are you sick are you sad whats going on alana. nobody just sits on a couch for days straight for no reason." he said worried. "i dont know maybe its just that im fed up of crazy stuff happening. The only place nothing dramatic happens to me is at home. Ive put a lot of thought into so many different things and to be honest its just easier to stuff it all in the back of my mind and watch a movie." i said quietly. "okay. well you have to stop babysitting your mothers couch alana. Your blowing something out of proportion and instead of telling someone whats going on with you your using that couch as a crutch. So let me just say this then you can decide for yourself. You have two choices one, you come out with us today for your birthday or two you get a job again so that you have a reason to leave this house." I sighed. I walked over to my bed and sat down. "Ill go out i guess." i mumbled. "good your mother will be thrilled." he said walking out of my room. The second he closed my door i threw a little fit then layed down on my bed. I really just didnt want to leave the house because everytime i did something crazy would happen. I honestly just wanted to escape everything that had broken me at some point and time. My heart was tired of hurting. It was almost like deshawn plucked the last available string of my heart that night. I just couldnt take anymore. He had hurt my feelings to the max. None of my friends were there to save me and i felt alone. I didnt want to be around any of them because they all left me hangging. I sighed wiping the tear from my face. I pulled myself together and put my makeup on for the day. I looked foreign in the mirror because i hadnt seen my reflexion in days. I slipped on a pair of flip flops with my tshirt and capri's then headed down stairs. when i walked into the livingroom my mom was telling them how she was so glad i was going to do something for my birthday. I stood at the door waiting for them. Ty noticed me first. He gasp "how long have you been standing there?" he ask in shock. "long enough to hear yall talking about me." i replied. He gave me a small smirk. "well lets go i guess." i said angrily. Eveyone started walking toward me. When we got outside there was a unfamilar car on the street. "want to ride with me." ty said quietly. I nodded and followed him to the unfamilar car. "like my new car?" he ask. "yea its really nice." i said quietly. We began to drive away from my house. "so how are you?" he ask shyly. "im good. and you?" i ask. He frowned. "im good i guess. I could always be better." he said drily. "i know right." i joked. "so what have you been up to?" i ask trying to be nice. I wasnt mad at ty. I still loved him but i just felt differently. I just felt like he didnt understand me. It felt strange. "well ive been working and sitting at home mostly." he answered. I nodded my head. "um where are we going?" i ask. "well i believe we are going to eat some mexican food." he said. "tyler." i said not sure what else to say. He kept his eyes on the road and said "yea." I figited in my seat. "nothing has changed between us. Im not mad at you or anything like that. I just i needeed my space." i said quietly. He sighed. "okay but next time you need your space could you let me know. I was really tripping thinking you were mad at me and shit." he asid angrily. "yea okay." i said quietly. We went to so many different places that day. We shopped and ate and shopped some more then finally we headed back to my moms house. Ty and i were riding down the road when i decided to tell him. "ty i dont think i can do this." i said quietly. He pulled over into a parking lot. "do what?" he ask putting the car in park. "i just dont think i can be in a relationship with you right now ty. I love you but im just so fucked up. I cant handle this shit." i mumbled. "What shit alana? what are you talking about?" he ask. I sighed looking at him. "god i love everything about you ty but im going to break your heart like my heart was broken. Im not saying im going to cheat on you but What happens when i leave here will hurt you." i said quietly staring into his eyes. "and what would that be?" he ask angrily. "i have to go find deshawn." i said. He hit the stearing wheel. "are you fucking serious?" he yelled. I didnt move at all. I wasnt surprised he was yelling, id be yelling too. "calm down. I just need to truly let him go. I cant carry around these burdens for the rest of my life ty. I have to be free eventually." i said. He sighed. "and what do you suppose your going to do about that? and why does that require you breaking up with me. I just dont understand you. I am trying but You are being so different today." he said. "ty i feel different about a lot of things now. I spent those days isolated from everyone to think and to get my head together. i wasnt done but this is what i needed today. I needed to realize that i have people in my life that love me and some that hate me but at the end of the day im the only one that matters to me. I love you but i have to only worry about me for a while i have to pull myself out of this hole im in." i said. He started to drive again. "okay." he said angrily. "thats all? okay?" i said angrily. "yea thats all alana. do you really love me or do you love the thought of me loving you?" he ask. I grimaced. "i fucking love you what kind of question is that?" i said. "a serious one. im tired of being the second choice. either love me or dont but dont pretend." he said pulling into my moms driveway. I sighed. "I love you but just give me some time to get me together okay." i ask. He sighed. "okay alana." he said annoyed. I leaned in to kiss him. We shared a passionate but short kiss before i got out of the car. My dad had brought all my bags to my moms before he headed back to atlanta. I unlocked my car then got in. I pulled out my phone to call jas. "hello." she answered. "hey" i said. "well hello there stranger. how are you?" she ask angrily. "im okay. going through a lot right now." i said. "oh." she said. I rolled my eyes. "well i just called to ask if you knew anyone with deshawns phone number." i said. My stomach started to turn flips. "what the hell is going on?" she ask. "nothing i just need to talk to him about something." i said. "about what?" she ask. I was starting to get annoyed. "about our relationship." i spat. "so you broke up with ty for shawn. and you dont even have his number." she spat at me. "what the hell alana why would you do ty like that. man your just a bitch anymore." she yelled. "jas i didnt break up with ty until today and not because i am going back to shawn but because i have to fix myself before i can fully love him. If you would listen to the sorece sometimes instead of the outsiders you'd know what the hell is going on. now damn can you just give me the number because i know you have it." i said angrily. "ill text it to you. you better do the right thing alana." she yelled. I hung up quickly. My phone vibrated with a text from her. It was shawn's phone number. I called it hoping for the best. "hello." his deep voice echoed in my ear. My heart sped up. "is this shawn?" i ask. "yea who is this?" he ask. "this is alana." i said. "what do you want?" he ask. "can we meet and talk?" i ask. "no. why would i want to talk to you after that shit at that party." he said angrily. "because we were both being stupid and we really just need to sit down and talk about what happened that day." i said looking at the garage wall. He sighed. "meet me at he park." he said quietly. "when?" i ask. "now." he whispered. "why are you whispering?" i ask. "just cause i am." he whispered again. i shook my head."okay ill be there in a few." i said hanging up. My heart was beating rapidly beacuse i was partially afraid but also excited. It took me seconds to drive to the park. I sat in my car until i