Beloved or Betrayed *(incomplete) by shay prinkey (top ten books to read txt) 📕

Bae

i love you. please dont forget that.

Me

i love you too. you dont forget that

whatever happens next you will always

be my heart tyler. 

Bae

yeah i have a hard time believing that.

but okay.

I walked over to shawn. I wasnt sure how to act. He smiled. "its good to see you." he said nicely. "yeah ive heard that alot today." i said quietly. "so whats up?" he ask. we walked over to the picinic tables and sat down. "well honestly shawn im pissed at you." i said looking at my hands. They were shaking a little. "you should be. Im sorry i hit you." he said. "yea me too. you realize ill never be able to be with you again because of that right?" i said sadly. "yeah i fucked up. Im so sorry. I lost my cool. I have never hit a female before. I dont know what come over me." he said. "well its okay. you didnt hurt me it just hurt my heart a little more." i said. "yea i know. im such a fuck up. Ive did everything wrong and all i wanted was to make you love me again." he said looking me in the eyes. "well shawn i never stopped loving you but that doesnt mean much these days." i shrugged. "whats that mean?" he ask. "it means i love you but i also love ty and he hasnt done anything but show me unconditional love yet i still go right back to you. I want to let you go." i mumbled. He sighed rubbing his head. "then why havent you?" he ask. "because i dont know how to. I miss you so much and i miss keely too but at the same time i hate you both for breaking me. you know? like so many good things have happened to me since we broke up but it seems like every time something good happens something bad follows immediately. Im not who i use to be. Ive spent the last two years wishing i could change one day. I have went through a thousand what if's and i just need to know the truth. not the angry truth but the truth shawn." i mumbled. "ask me anything and ill answer truthfully. If i cant be with you i at least want you to be happy. I still love you and i probably always will. I have done so many stupid things since that day. When you called me i knew it was you instantly. I still have your number saved in my phone. I just didnt know if you were calling to yell at me for hitting you or as i have prayed for a thousand time you were calling me to tell me you loved me still. I guess im getting a little of both." he said. "well honestly my only question is why did you do it shawn. You knew i loved you. I loved you with everything i had." i said running my fingers through my hair. "i dont know. i was young and stupid. I thought i wouldnt get caught and i almost didnt. keely never wanted to but i wanted to. A part of me wanted to hurt you so you would run while you still could alana. But a part of me just wanted to hurt you because you had hurt me." he said looking down. I sighed. "shawn how the hell did i hurt you? All i did was love you!" i yelled. "you constantly accused me of cheating and not loving you and i was always last on your priority list. When you were first on mine. I wanted you to be happy with me and me only and if i couldnt have that then i didnt want you at all and i didnt want you to find anyone else either. I was jealous. by sleeping with keely i thought i would have something in my pocket to threaten you. i guess i dont really know. that was so long ago i havent put much thought into why i did it. all my thought has went into how i was going to fix it. But just like everything else i fucked it up." he said. I sighed. "shawn i dont even know what to say to that to be honest. I mean who does shit like that. I loved you." i said angrily. "i know. im sorry." he said. "look its like this shawn we cant be any more than friends okay. I have ty now and im happy. I love him so much. I really come here to tell you that i cant love you anymore. I have loved you for years without you knowing and now its time for me to stop. I want you to stop loving me too." i said quietly. "i cant do that." he said. "well try." i said. He sighed. "okay for you i will but please alana if you ever need me or just think twice about us im only a phone call away. I mean im not going to sit here and lie to you and act like im just waiting for that day because im not. I have a girlfriend and i care about her which is why i was whispering but im always here." he said. "no shawn make her your first priortiy please. Love her!" i pleaded. "shit alana. He's so lucky. I wish i could take back so much." he mumbled. "i know but we cant and it is what it is now. we just have to keep moving."  i said quietly. "your right. well can we catch up for a minute. Whats been going on with you?" he ask. I sighed. "well i worked at pizza hut and i got accepted into georgia state. um nothing has really been going on. I just been doing me. I havent really had time for much. Ty and i ocasionally throw a party at his place or go down to atlanta to my dads but thats it." i said. He laughed. "wow your dad likes tyler?" he ask. I couldnt help but smile. "well yeah tyler isnt a bad guy. He's actually a really good guy." i said. "for real? i mean i thought you always got bad vibes from him." he joked. I burst into laughter. "oh gosh. I did. But once i got to know him i figured out he wasnt the asshole i thought he was. i mean he's a asshole but not the one i thought he was." i laughed. "oh wow. well thats good. how long have yall been together?" he ask. I sighed trying to figure it out. "well we got together my junior year but broke up. I was stuck on this false accusation that we were better off as friends. We basically been together since my junior year." i said smiling. "thats good." he said nodding his head. "yea so are you living down here?" i ask. "naw me and sara are down here visiting my aunt for the summer. I mean i care about sara but she's too clingy. I had broken up with her When i first come down because she was driving me insane but after a few days i missed her so i flew her down." he shrugged. I smiled at the fact he was actually nice to someone. "well thats sweet i guess. you going to college?" i ask. "yea michigan state." he mumbled. "im guessing that wasnt your choice." i said. He smiled. "you already know. mom wants me to stay some what close i will probably transfer next spring to somewhere more pleasent and warm you know." he said. I laughed. "no you wont shawn. You are going to stay in michigan near you mom because you love her. dont shoot me bullshit. I know how that goes." i joked. "yea your probably right. thats a secret we will keep between us." he joked. "have you talk to keely?" i ask. "yea she's doing good. she got accepted into some college in new york. She is still crazy keely. I will say though without you she's calmed down a lot. She spent so much of her time protecting your feelings from stupid shit she got bored when yall stopped being friends. It was a really sad process honestly. We are still good friends but we dont talk as much anymore." he said. "did yall ever try to be in a relationship i ask."  He burst into laughter. "oh hell no. we would have killed each other the first day lana. You know we didnt get along for shit. I mean even after we became friends it still took time to get to the point we're at today. Like now i can just call her up and talk to her but before if id call her out of the blue she would start snapping. Or if she called me id be like oh god i dont want to answer her today. But we usually talked about stupid shit going on with us you know?" he said. I sighed. "yea i miss her so much. She did shelter me from a lot. I just didnt realize it until a few weeks ago. You know i had never really had to deal with critisism from outsiders until recently. She would somehow like block that shit. I dont really know. I just miss the funny shit she use to say." i said smilng. "maybe you should call her." he said. "no we havent been friends in years shawn im not going to pull her into my crazy lifestyle now." i admitted. "how is your lifestyle crazy?" he ask. "well to start i barely talk to the friends i have cause im always so busy you know. but there is always some type of drama going on around me. I dont know. i just dont want to pull her into it." i said. "well then maybe you shouldnt. do what makes you happy. Im glad we got to talk tonight. maybe you and ty can come chill and meet sara." he said. I laughed. "yea i dont see that happening. ty hates you and im sure sara hates me." i said. He smiled. "true. but sara doesnt hate you. she doesnt know you. i never told her about us. I didnt want to scare her away. she's very timid." he said. i was shocked. "wow timid has never been your type." i joked. His smiled turned to a smile. "it was once but i screwed it up." he said quietly. I started to laugh. "shawn i wasnt timid." i said. "yes you were. you have just grown into a new person and didnt realize it. That was years ago now and we are both so different. just sitting here talking to you i can see that your completly different and not in a bad way. That shit i said the other night was just a bunch of drunken words. I mean you really are different. you seem more confident and just happy." he said. I smiled. "well thank you. it took a lot to get here trust me. If it wasnt for ty there were quite a few days i didnt think i would ever see a day i could just sit down and talk to you. I didnt see a day i wouldnt hate you but after time i fell for ty and the hate i had for you kind of just faded away." i admitted. "im glad he healed what i broke. I wish so much i could change that day. I messed so much up that day. With you with my family with so many people and im still trying to repair broken bridges. Im glad this is one that is