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THE FARM

CHAPTER ONE: THE FARM

 

I GREW UP ON FELISTER'S FARM, THAT SICK BASTARD SADIST WHO COULD DO NOTHING BUT CASTRATE PIGS. AND THEY PAID HIM TOO WELL TO CASTRATE THEM. IMAGINE THE LITTLE PINK ANIMALS AND THE PERVERTED FELISTER WHO LONGED TO TAKE AWAY THE LITTLE DANGLING PINK LEATHER BALLS HANGING BETWEEN THEIR HOOVES. HE ALSO HAD TO DEAL WITH SOME SPECIFIC PROBLEMS LIKE SORES OR INGUINAL HERNIAS, AND THAT GENERALLY REQUIRED A CERTAIN MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE. AND HIS FAVORITE TIME TO PERFORM THIS SERIOUS MANIPULATION WAS EARLY IN THE MORNING.

HOW HE JUST ENJOYED THEIR SCREAMS. IT'S STRANGE WHEN YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN SUCH A REALITY.

LITTLE BY LITTLE YOU LEARN TO BE ANOTHER PERSON! AND YOU BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND WHY THEY CONSIDER PIGS YOUR BROTHERS!

FELISTER, WHO RAISED AND FED THEM, CAREFULLY OBSERVED THEIR BEHAVIOR AND THE MANIFESTATIONS OF CERTAIN ACTIONS, AS HE CALLED THEM - LEFT TO THEIR OWN DEVICES, THEIR LEADERSHIP HIERARCHY WAS SIMPLE AND OBVIOUS, BUT IN CONFINED SPACES THINGS CHANGED - THE STRONGER ONES DOMINATED THE WEAKER ONES AND CONSEQUENTLY RECEIVED MORE BENEFITS SUCH AS FOOD AND TREATMENT. IN BETWEEN, BY THE WAY, I NOW REMEMBER THAT FEW COULD APPRECIATE THE PIG'S NATURE WITH DIGNITY. PIGS WERE INDIVIDUALS AND EACH DEALT WITH THEIR PROBLEMS IN THEIR OWN WAY. THE PIG WAS OMNIVOROUS, IT COULD HIDE IN ITS CAMOUFLAGE OF SLIME, WAITING FOR AN OPPORTUNE MOMENT TO POP OUT OF ITS HIDING PLACE AND GO ON THE ATTACK. IT WAS UNDOUBTEDLY A STRATEGIST - OR RATHER A TACTICIAN - AND OCCUPIED THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN OR THE TOP OF THE PYRAMID IN LIFE - OR SO IT THOUGHT. MOST WARS IN HUMAN HISTORY HAVE BEEN FOUGHT BY PIGS, MOST EMPIRES HAVE BEEN RULED BY PIGS, AND SOMETIMES PIGS HAVE BEEN NOMENCLATURES - PIG BUSINESS IN GENERAL. ONLY THE WORLD AND LIFE WERE CHANGING AND MOVING ON UNSTOPPABLY, AND THE ILLUSION OF A BLUE SPRING CREATED BY EMPTY PROMISES OF DROWNING MEN COULD NOT COMPENSATE FOR THE HARSH REALITY! THIS SYSTEM WAS SIMPLY DOOMED TO PERISH!

FELISTER WAS A VERY PECULIAR SORT OF MAN - GLOOMY AND SUBDUED! SO LOATHSOME, YET BEWITCHING! AS IF HE COULD ONLY EXIST IN THIS DIM REALITY WHICH HE CONTROLLED WITH A SKILFUL HAND!

THE PROCEDURE OF CASTRATING THE PIGS WAS SOMEWHAT TEDIOUS, BUT FELISTER DID HIS WORK WITH DUE CARE AND DILIGENCE-THERE WERE SO MANY ANIMALS TO BE SERVED BY HIS EXPERIENCED HAND HOLDING THE CASTRATION APPARATUS. PIG-KEEPING ITSELF WAS AN EXCELLENT AND LUCRATIVE BUSINESS!

I DID NOT THINK I SHOULD EVER HAVE COME HERE-THIS PLACE HAD STRANGE TRADITIONS, AND MANY OF THE MOST INTELLIGENT PEOPLE HAD DECLARED TO CLOSE IT FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS. BUT WHAT TO DO? THE MORE TIME I SPENT HERE I BECAME CONVINCED THAT SOMETHING SEEMED TO BE WRONG... THE DAYS PASSED TOO MONOTONOUSLY AND THERE WAS ENOUGH WORK TO GET CAUGHT UP IN TRYING TO ESCAPE REALITY!

FELISTER WAS NO EGOTIST, AND WOULD OCCASIONALLY FILL US IN ON SOME OF THE INTRICACIES OF HIS CRAFT - AND THEY WERE NOT FEW.

ONE CHANGES WITH TIME. AND LOOKING AT THE POOR ANIMALS I BECAME MORE AND MORE CONVINCED THAT THIS WAS MY REFUGE FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

IN A VERY STRANGE WAY I HAD ENDED UP HERE, AND NOW I WAS CLEARLY AWARE THAT SOONER OR LATER I WOULD HAVE TO GET OUT - THE QUESTION WAS EXACTLY HOW I WAS GOING TO DO IT.

BUT FELISTER SHOWED ABSOLUTELY NO PREJUDICE AS TO HIS OCCUPATIONS - AND HE HARDLY CARED MUCH AS LONG AS HE GOT HIS MONEY'S WORTH FOR HIS NOT VERY DIFFICULT WORK.

ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE CAME AND WENT, BUT THE WORK WAS THE SAME - MONOTONOUS AND FULL OF A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TENSION.

FELISTER EMBANKS REALISED THAT HE WAS UNLIKELY TO DO THE SAME THING ALL HIS LIFE, BUT AS THEY USED TO SAY AT MY END, HE PRETENDED NOT TO CARE.

PLUS, IN THIS CRISIS AND WITH THE HUGE UNEMPLOYMENT, HE HAD TO BE HAPPY IN THIS JOB TOO.

I MIGHT HAVE MENTIONED THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TOO MANY FRIENDS WHEN I WAS GROWING UP.

I GREW UP IN THE POOR SOUTHERN SUBURBS OF A LARGE METROPOLIS IN THE STATE OF MISSOURI ABOUT THIRTY-FIVE OR FORTY MILES FROM FELISTER'S FARM.

WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I HAD STRANGE VISIONS, AND AFTER A WHILE THE EVENTS OF MY LIFE BEGAN TO OCCUR IN A STRANGE SEQUENCE THAT WAS GENERALLY COMPLETELY DEVOID OF ANY REAL LOGIC. OVER TIME, THINGS ROUGHLY SPEAKING GOT COMPLETELY OUT OF HAND AND I REALIZED THAT WORKING AS A CASTRATOR WAS MY ONLY SEEMING OUTLET TO DEAL WITH MY INNER DEMONS. HOWEVER, THE MORE TIME I SPENT IN THE STRANGE ATMOSPHERE, I REALIZED THAT MY PATH WAS DOWN RATHER THAN UP.

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD BECAUSE IT WAS FILLED WITH STRANGE EXPERIENCES AND A LACK OF TRUE FRIENDS. I WOULD SAY THAT IN MY PERSON FELISTER HAD FOUND THE IDEAL HELPER - SOMETHING THAT WAS NOT BAD FOR HIM AT ALL. ALL THAT WAS REQUIRED OF ME WAS TO KEEP QUIET AND MIND MY OWN BUSINESS. AND THAT.

THE STATE OF MISSOURI IN THE SEVENTIES WAS A SPECIAL PLACE. THE BIG CITIES WERE KANSAS CITY AND SPRINGFIELD. EACH OFFERING GOOD CAREER OPPORTUNITIES. I DIDN'T CARE, THOUGH, BECAUSE I KNEW THAT'S WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING - CASTRATING PIGS!

LITTLE BY LITTLE, FELISTER'S CONFIDENCE IN ME GREW AND HE ENTRUSTED ME WITH SOME AUTHORITY WITHIN THE FARM. THEN MY STORY BEGAN, AND I WITNESSED THINGS BEYOND MY WILDEST IMAGINATION. BUT MORE ON THAT LATER.

YOU HAVE ALL HEARD OF THE SO-CALLED MIDWESTERN STATES AND THE FACT THAT THESE TERRITORIES ARE COVERED WITH GRASSY PLAINS THAT STRETCH ALONG FOR HUNDREDS OF MILES. IT WAS A TRULY MAGICAL PLACE THAT I WON'T HAVE TIME TO TELL YOU ABOUT. I ALSO REALIZE THAT MY NARRATIVE DIGRESSES A BIT.

HOW MANY TIMES HAD I NOT COME TO MY SENSES AND TRIED TO THROW IT ALL AWAY.

THE BRUTAL ABUSE OF ANIMALS PUT ME IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE - THAT OF THE LONELY AND CONFUSED SOCIOPATH WHO WAS UNABLE TO THRIVE IN A NORMAL HUMAN ENVIRONMENT.

FELISTER OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T CARE MUCH AND HADN'T SET MANY RULES FOR ME TO STAY ON THE FARM AND GET A BOWL OF HOT SOUP AND A PIECE OF BREAD. IT WAS ONLY WELCOME AND I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HIS KINDNESS WISELY.

OVER TIME, PERCEPTIONS OF THE SURROUNDING REALITY BECOME A BIT TEDIOUS, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU REALIZE WHAT WAS ACTUALLY GOING ON - THERE WERE SO FEW PEOPLE WHO REALLY LOOKED DEEPLY INTO ITS AMBIGUOUS AND DECEPTIVE NATURE, AND THAT WAS SORELY NEEDED.

FELISTER WAS ALSO A DARK AND ANTISOCIAL TYPE WHO GAVE HER WHOLE HEART TO FORGET EXTERNAL REALITY AND TRY TO FIND A SOLUTION FOR HER CONFUSED AND STRANGE LIFE. BUT HERE HE SEEMED TO BE COMPLETELY IN HIS PLACE AND HAD NO DESIRE TO CHANGE AT ALL!

THESE PIGS WERE A LUCRATIVE BUSINESS FOR SOMEONE OF HIS LINEAGE AND ABILITY, SO HE HAD NO INTENTION OF ABANDONING IT AND LOOKING ELSEWHERE FOR A LIVING.

THE CASTRATION OF THE PIG WAS A LABORIOUS OPERATION THAT SOUGHT TO PREVENT THE UNPLEASANT ODOR OF THE MEAT. WHAT'S MORE, CASTRATED PIGS NEEDED LESS FEED, WHICH WAS A REAL BONUS FOR FARMERS WHO WERE GENERALLY LOOKING TO CUT THEIR COSTS - ESPECIALLY ON THE CRUEL ECONOMIC CRISIS.

FELISTER WAS NO MODERNIST, SO HE USED WHAT HE CALLED A FIXATOR CRATE TO HANDLE THE ANIMALS AND MAKE THE HANDLING COMPLETELY SEAMLESS.

THE VOLUNTEERS WHO WORKED FOR FELISTER WERE MADE OF STAKE AND ROPE, BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WAS THAT THEY COULD REALLY HOLD THEIR TONGUES. AS HARD AS IT WAS TO ACCEPT, THIS PLACE EXISTED BY ITS OWN LAWS THAT HAD TO BE ACCOUNTED FOR.

AN ANCIENT LATIN MAXIM WAS "IN THE WINE IS THE TRUTH!" BUT FELISTER NEVER LICKED A DROP, AND THAT WAS QUITE TELLING.

WHEN SOMEONE ASKED HIM WHAT HE DID FOR A LIVING, THE ANSWER ON HIS PART WAS RATHER EVASIVE, AND HE DIDN'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY, FOR PIGS WERE A COMMODITY OF SOMEWHAT OBSCURE ORIGIN.

THE TRUTH WAS, UNDER COVER OF NIGHT, THE CASTRATED HOGS WERE BEING STUFFED WITH ENOUGH DRUGS TO GET ACROSS THE MEXICAN BORDER, AND FELISTER'S FARM WAS JUST ONE OF MANY DISTRIBUTION POINTS. NO ONE WAS GOING TO TEST LIVE ANIMALS FOR SUCH SUBSTANCES OR EVEN RAISE THE ISSUE WITH STATE AUTHORITIES, BUT FELISTER'S CONSCIENCE WAS SUCH A STRETCH. HE WASN'T DOING THIS FOR THE MONEY, BUT FOR THE SIMPLE FACT THAT THIS WAS THE ONLY PLACE HE COULD EXIST AND BE HIMSELF.

WHEN HE CONTACTED THE MOST POWERFUL DRUG CARTELS, THEY REALIZED THEY COULD TRUST HIM, AND HE PURCHASED NUMEROUS FARMS THROUGHOUT THE MIDDLE STATES WHERE DRUGS WERE SEPARATED FROM THE BLOOD OF ANIMALS IN SPECIAL LABORATORIES. WHAT WAS MORE INTERESTING, THOUGH, WAS THAT SOMEWHERE IN THERE, FELISTER'S INNER MOTIVATION WAS CLEARLY VISIBLE. THIS WAS OF COURSE A CUMBERSOME AND EXPENSIVE PROCESS. BUT HE WAS WILLING TO TAKE THE MOST ACTIVE PART AND TO POINT OUT TO HIS CUSTOMERS THAT HE WAS THEIR TRUE SUPPLIER.

FELISTER'S DREAM WAS DRIVEN BY SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY. HE WAS ALL ALONE IN THIS WORLD, AND HE WAS CLEARLY AWARE THAT HE HAD NO ONE TO SUFFER FOR, OR, TO PUT IT BLUNTLY, TO MISS. THE FRIENDSHIPS HE HAD MADE WERE IN THE PAST-COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY AND DISOWNED.

EVEN ONCE THE FELISTER HIMSELF REMEMBERED SOMETHING STRANGE. OF HIS YOUTH, WHICH HAD BEEN FULL OF A KIND OF ROMANCE.

A VERSE ABOUT FRIENDSHIP SPRANG INTO HIS MIND, WHICH READ AS FOLLOWS:

''FRIENDS GOOD

LIKE BRIGHT STARS,

THERE ALL IS SEEN,

BUT ALAS THAT IS THE END!''

FELISTER WANTED TO BE GOOD, BUT HE WAS NOT LIKE THE OTHERS-HIS GRIEF WAS SO INTENSE THAT HE HAD NO EQUAL. NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY SWORE ALLEGIANCE, HIS MEN WERE JUST MERCENARIES WHO WOULD MOST LIKELY GO TO THE FIRST PERSON WHO OFFERED THEM MORE AND MORE FAVORABLE TERMS. AND THAT WAS ACCEPTABLE - EVEN IN FELISTER'S EYES. AFTER ALL, THE WORLD WAS ONE HELL OF A WHEEL, AND SOME FELL OFF IT SOONER AND OTHERS LATER.

WHEN I, ELIZANDER BARNAYNE, SAW CLEARLY THE PROSPECTS BEFORE ME, IT BECAME CLEAR THAT FELISTER HAD HAD A PROFOUND PLAN FROM THE BEGINNING AND HAD FOLLOWED IT STEADFASTLY. BUT THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE DIDN'T ACCEPT IT AND DIDN'T REALIZE HOW WRONG THEY WERE.

FELISTER DIDN'T BELIEVE IN SALVATION IN THE AFTERLIFE, OR IN ANY SIMPLE STUFF ABOUT VAMPIRES OR WEREWOLVES. HE KNEW THAT THE ESSENTIAL PROPERTY OF LIFE WAS ITS INEVITABLE AND ETERNAL CHANGE, FULL OF AN INFINITE RANGE OF POSSIBILITIES, WHICH, HOWEVER, DID NOT SEEM SO LIMITLESS UPON CLOSER INSPECTION.

THE WAVES OF LIFE HAD TAKEN HIM OVER AND BATTERED HIM MERCILESSLY, AND HE HAD GROWN DESPERATE FROM SO MANY SETBACKS. IT WAS HARD AND NOT SO REALISTIC TO THINK THAT FELISTER WOULD HAVE A HAPPY ENDING.

THE MEXICAN CARTELS WANTED THE GOODS TO BE TRANSPORTED BY MEANS OF FELISTER'S PROPERLY CASTRATED PIGS, AND THIS WAS DONE ON THE BASIS OF BARTER DEALS BETWEEN DUMMY COMPANIES AND THEN SO-CALLED RE-EXPORTS.

FELISTER WAS A CRANKY AND SICK BASTARD WHO UNDERSTOOD ENOUGH ABOUT BUSINESS AND FINANCE TO DO THE MATH ON THE DRUG CARTELS' MAJOR POSITIONS.

THE U.S. DRUG ENFORCEMENT AGENCY WAS BREATHING DOWN HIS NECK, BUT UNLIKE MANY OTHERS, HE INTENDED TO GET OUT OF THIS BUSINESS COMPLETELY CLEAN, SIMPLY BECAUSE HE STOOD FOR THE LIVING - NO ONE HAD EVER CONSIDERED HIM HUMAN, OR EVEN HIS EQUAL. THE AMERICAN AGENCY WAS A SUPER-STRUCTURE THAT HAD TENTACLES EVERYWHERE AND EMPLOYED THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE AND WAS ONE OF THE BEST INSURED AND PROVIDED FOR IN EVERY RESPECT.

FELISTER HAD ONE THOUGHT - WHEN HE STOPPED WITH THIS BUSINESS, TO LIVE AND SEE THE WORLD. CASTRATING PIGS HAD TAKEN AWAY ALL CONTACT WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD. THE INITIATION OF THE SOUL WAS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE, AND SO FELISTER PRACTICED ESOTERIC ARTS THAT COULD OPEN THE DOORS OF THE UNSEEN WORLD TO HIM, BUT WAS THIS THE

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