Billy Whiskers by Frances Trego Montgomery (best ebook pdf reader android .TXT) π
[Illustration]
Billy at the Soda Fountain
After Billy Whiskers had left Mr. Biggs, he trotted slowly down the road wondering where he would get his next meal for he well knew he would never dare go back to Mr. Biggses after upsetting him in the geranium bed and causing all the mischief he had there that day. But being a goat of a cheerful frame of mind and used to looking out for himself, he did not worry much, and decided he would enter the first garden he came to, and make a free lunch off the vegetables, or go into a turnip patch and feast on them for if there was anything he doted on it was nice, sweet turnips, fresh from the fields.
He had gone some distance, and no patch or garden appearing that was not enclosed by a high, barbed-wire fence, he commenced to get discouraged. Feeling hungry and thirsty he was about wishing he had behaved himself at Mr.
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"That will do for this morning, Billy, you are a good goat," said the man. Just then the monkey jumped off Billy's back, and as he ran past him, he gave Billy's beard a pull. Like a shot Billy was after him and had the monkey not run up a pole, Billy would have killed him. From that time on, Billy and the monkey, whose name was Jocko, hated each other and an outward peace was only kept up when someone was around to keep them apart.
The monkey would climb a pole or sit on top of a wagon, or anything high that was handy, so Billy could not reach him and then call him names and sauce him until Billy pawed the earth with rage, which made the monkey laugh. The only one that could get even with the monkey's tongue was the parrot, and she and the monkey would sit and sauce each other by the hour.
Billy was about cooled down from his fuss with the monkey, when he heard a bugle call and the elephant told him that it was the signal for the procession to start. While Billy had been put through his paces in the circus ring, the elephants had been decked out in scarlet blankets embroidered with gold and funny little summer houses, as Billy thought, strapped to their backs, in which ladies were to ride. The camels had also been fixed up, and from four to six horses, with waving plumes on their heads, had been hitched to each circus wagon.
At another signal from the bugle, they all started to move, led by the men and women performers, dressed in their best spangled velvet suits. Then came what Billy thought to be the best thing in the procession, a golden chariot drawn by twelve Shetland ponies, each pony ridden by a little boy postilion, in scarlet velvet; while in the chariot sat a beautiful, little, golden-haired girl, dressed as a queen, with a diamond crown on her head.
It fairly took Billy's breath away, he thought it all so beautiful, and he started to follow.
"All right, Jim, let him go there if he wants to. He probably thinks the ponies are goats and will behave better than if put with the lions."
"What an idiot that man is!" thought Billy, "to think I don't know a pony from a goat."
It was a good thing they let him march there for he was so taken up with watching the ponies in front of him that he forgot to be mad at Jocko, who was going through all sorts of antics on his back and swinging on Billy's horns. Everything was going smoothly when Billy saw Mike O'Hara coming out of the crowd; he came up to the clown that was walking beside him and said: "Look here, that is my goat!"
"Well, I guess not, you must be crazy."
"I'll prove it to you," said Mike. "Do you see that black spot on his forehead and that he has one black hoof and all the others are white?"
"That don't prove anything," said the clown. "You just noticed that as we were walking along, and now you come up here and try to claim our goat."
"I'll give you another proof," said Mike. "He will come when I call him."
"All right, call him, and I bet he won't follow you," said the clown.
Mike held out his hand and called him by name, but Billy did not turn an inch though he knew he belonged to Mike. He did not propose to go with him and be made to pull milk carts. He preferred to stay where he was as he liked the excitement of a circus life.
When Billy did not go to Mike, it made the clown laugh and he said: "There, I told you so. The goat never saw you before."
"Yes, he has," said Mike, "but it is just like his cussedness to pretend he don't know me."
"Go along, I can't bother talking to you any more," said the clown, as all this time Mike had been walking beside the clown as they marched.
"Well, you need not talk to me any more," said Mike, "but I am going to have my goat." And with that he caught hold of Billy's horns and was going to lead him away.
"Here, take your hands off that goat, you are stopping the procession!" But Mike held on and the clown gave him a hit in the ribs. Mike struck back and a policeman, who was standing in the crowd, ran out and arrested Mike for disorderly conduct and for stopping the procession. This was the second time that Mike had been arrested on Billy's account.
When the procession returned to the tents, all the animals and horses were fed and allowed to rest so as to be fresh for the afternoon's performance. Billy had been resting only a short time, when a couple of men came toward him, one carrying a table and the other a long black gown of some kind.
"What in the world are they going to do now," thought Billy.
When they came up to him, the man that was carrying the table put it down and then brought a high backed arm chair and set it up close to the table. Then the men came up to Billy and one of them said: "Now, old fellow, we are going to make a professor out of you," and with that they both took hold of him and made him stand on his hind legs while they put the black gown on him and a black skull cap on his head, and a pair of spectacles on his nose,βthe latter they had to tie on. Then a man got on each side of him and supported him to the table where they made him sit in the chair. They put his forehoofs on the table and a large book before him and a pen behind his ears. When they had him all fixed, you never saw such a wise looking professor in your life as he made, with his long, white beard. The men were so delighted with his appearance and the way he behaved when dressed up, that they called all the rest of the circus people to come and look. Of course they laughed and praised and petted Billy, until he was nearly bursting with conceit and they all agreed that it would tickle the children most to death to see how solemn and straight a goat could sit in a chair.
"Now Billy, we will take these things off and let you rest for your back must be tired as you are not used to sitting up, but you will get used to it and it won't make you tired after awhile. Come here, and I will give you this nice red apple for being such a good goat. You behaved so nicely that I think we will venture to show you off at the performance this afternoon."
This they did and he got more encores and whistles and clapping of hands than anything else that was shown that afternoon, more even than the ponies. Before they brought him in, the Ring Master came in and said: "Now ladies and gentlemen, I am about to introduce to you the oldest and most wonderful astrologer now living. He will read to you, from a mystic book, the fate of the world and whether it is to be destroyed by fire or water."
When he had finished speaking, four men drew a platform in, on which Billy was seated in his chair at the table. But the strangest part of it all was, that when everything was still and the crowd were all watching him, he commenced to read and turn the pages of the book, and he spoke so plainly that everyone could understand and hear. This surely was wonderful, and the children could not make up their minds whether it was a man with goat's horns, for his long horns stuck out through two holes on either side of his cap, or a goat with a man's voice; and when the Ring Master told the children that the professor had just dropped from the sign of the Zodiac called Capricorn, which is represented in all the almanacs by a goat, they thought he must be telling the truth. He did not tell them that hidden under the platform was a man that did the talking, and when the leaves of the book turned, that he was pulling a string which made them turn over, but everyone thought the goat was doing it himself.
After the performance was over, all the children as they passed fed Billy peanuts, candy, pop-corn and apples as he stood by the elephant.
Billy had behaved like a lamb for days and gone through all his performances without a hitch,βin fact he had become the pet of the circus, and allowed to roam about at will and was never tied not even at night. So this night after all had settled down and gone to bed, Billy, feeling wakeful, thought he would move around a little and take a peep into the other tents. First he stuck his nose into a little tent where they sold pop-corn, peanuts, lemonade etc., during the performances.
"Now is my chance," thought Billy, "to eat all the pop-corn I want, for I never have gotten enough to satisfy me at any one time, but how can I get it out of that glass case. It looks so easy to get at and smells so good, I must have some, even if I have to break the glass to get at it."
He stood licking the glass for a little while; then his greed getting the better of him, he backed off and gave the glass a quick hard knock with his horns. It broke and flew in all directions and let the pop-corn roll out in a perfect stream. Billy stopped to listen a minute to see if the noise of the breaking glass had brought anyone to see what was the matter, and when no one came, he commenced to eat the salted and buttered corn, and he ate until for once in his life he could say he had had enough. But, oh my! what a thirst it had given him, and he did not know where to get a drink unless he went and stole it out of the elephant's tub of water, but he did not like to go there as the elephant's keeper slept near his charge and he might catch him and tie him up.
Billy was just leaving the tent when he ran into a large tin water cooler. It took but a minute to push the top off with his nose and then he began to drink. But what was the matter with the water? It had turned sour and had round pieces of yellow, sour stuff floating in it; it was his first taste of lemonade, consequently he did not know what he was drinking.
In his disgust at finding no water, he revenged himself by upsetting the water cooler and spilling all the lemonade. Then he walked out and going into the first tent he came to, he found himself in the room of the leading lady who was fast asleep on a cot. At the end of the tent he saw a small table with a looking-glass hanging above it, but when Billy saw his reflection in it, he did not make the mistake of thinking it was another goat like he had once before. He walked up to the table and seeing a stick
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