Billy Whiskers by Frances Trego Montgomery (best ebook pdf reader android .TXT) π
[Illustration]
Billy at the Soda Fountain
After Billy Whiskers had left Mr. Biggs, he trotted slowly down the road wondering where he would get his next meal for he well knew he would never dare go back to Mr. Biggses after upsetting him in the geranium bed and causing all the mischief he had there that day. But being a goat of a cheerful frame of mind and used to looking out for himself, he did not worry much, and decided he would enter the first garden he came to, and make a free lunch off the vegetables, or go into a turnip patch and feast on them for if there was anything he doted on it was nice, sweet turnips, fresh from the fields.
He had gone some distance, and no patch or garden appearing that was not enclosed by a high, barbed-wire fence, he commenced to get discouraged. Feeling hungry and thirsty he was about wishing he had behaved himself at Mr.
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"If we see Mike coming after you, we will all form in a circle around you and Miss Nanny so he can't see you."
All that day Billy and Nanny stayed with the other goats who never tired of hearing the new-comers tell of the adventures they had had, some of which seemed impossible to those country goats who had never been off their own farm.
That evening when the farmer drove the goats home he did not notice Billy and Nan until he had got them into the little enclosure where he always drove them to be fed; but when he stood by the fence with his arm on the upper rail counting them, his eye detected Billy immediately as he was so much taller than any of the other goats, even old Satan, the leader.
"Ho, Ho!" he thought to himself, "where did this fine goat come from, I wonder," and when he went to drive Billy apart to get a good look at him he spied Nanny who was trying to hide behind Billy.
"So my fine goat, you have brought your mate with you?" And Billy who was not afraid of any man or thing, bleated back that he had, though I doubt whether the man understood him or not.
The man walked round and round Billy taking in all his fine points and talking to himself all the time, but when he saw the gilt shining on Billy's horns he stopped and stared in astonishment. Then he slapped his knee with his hand and said: "Well, I swan! I bet that goat has run away from the circus that is in town for I don't know how else he got his horns gilded."
Everything went smooth as silk for three nights but on the fourth, had you been looking you would have seen an unusual commotion among the goats when they were turned loose after milking time to graze in the meadow during the night, as they were allowed to do when the weather was fine; and to-night was an ideal night with a low hungry moon that lit up everything as bright as day.
I know you are anxious to hear what the commotion was all about, so will tell you. Billy and Nanny were to be married by the old parson goat of the flock, and then they were all going to break through the neighbor's fence into his turnip patch and eat up all his turnips.
It is needless to say that this scheme originated in Billy's head, though from Satan's name you would have imagined it more likely to have come from him; but in reality that goat was as meek as a lamb and Satan should have been Billy's name by rights for in his heart he was as mischievous as Satan.
The wedding went off beautifully and the groom, minister and all the others kissed the bride and you never saw a sweeter one than poor little meek Nanny with her gentle ways; and to think she was going to marry a goat twice her size and as fiery tempered as she was mild! But people frequently marry their opposites, and why should not goats?
After the wedding they all ran skipping and jumping over to the turnip patch and when they got there Billy, Satan and two other old goats threw their weight against the fence and with a crash it caved in and the whole flock of goats climbed over the broken rails into the field where they feasted until daylight.
The farmer who owned the field happened to look out of his window next morning while dressing and saw the goats. He hurried into his boots, and hatless and coatless, started out of the house calling to his dogs to follow him.
And the first thing the flock knew, several dogs were barking and biting at their heels. Billy kept close to Nan and when a dog came up to them he hooked him howling up into the air. Soon the goats were all on their side of the fence again and the neighbor was fixing up his fence as best he could, scolding all the time he did so, saying:
"I'll sue Farmer Windlass for the damage his pesky goats have done, so I will, for the hateful things have eaten up all my turnips, tops and all!"
Several days after this when the goats were all in the meadow, and Nanny was lying down under a tree for a nap, Billy, who was tired of the monotony of going day after day to the same place, stole off and went up to the house to see what amusement he could find.
When nearly there he came to a white-washed rail fence that separated the pasture from the lane that led to the house. This he went over easily by taking it at a running jump. Then he followed the lane until he came to the house, the yard of which was separated from the lane by a picket fence; but as good luck would have it the gate was open, so Billy walked in and went around to the kitchen door for he heard voices in the parlor, which is an unusual thing in the country as they generally entertain their company in the sitting room. Immediately Billy knew they must have company for dinner.
"I'm lucky," thought Billy, "I have come just in time to get something good to eat, but I must be careful and not let them see me or they will drive me back to the pasture. I will walk on the grass so my hoofs won't make any noise and listen under the window, and when the cook leaves the kitchen I will go in and steal something good."
While standing under the window with his head cocked to one side listening, he noticed that the outside cellar doors were open. He started to go down cellar and see what he could find, for he knew they would put all their good things in the cellar until time to bring them up to the table.
Tiptoeing his way along, he sneaked down the cellar stairs and there before him on a table were twelve plates of salad all garnished and ready to be served. The salad was delicious as it was cool and crisp and made of chicken served on young lettuce leaves garnished with radishes. It was so palatable he ate it all up even licking the plates; he had never been told it was bad manners to lick your plate.
Then he saw a floating-island pudding, with the whites of eggs heaped up high and dotted with candied cherries, floating on the custard underneath. He ate part of this, getting his head covered with eggs. Next he spied several cakes covered with icing which he licked off. Next he saw an ice-cream freezer. Now he had never seen an ice-cream freezer before so he thought it must contain something good if he could only get the top off to see what was inside. In trying to get it off he upset the whole thing and as the ice rattled out on the floor making a terrible noise, he left everything and ran for the cellar door just in time to escape the cook who had heard the noise and had come down the inside stairs to see what was the matter.
Billy ran around the house and seeing the front door open and no one around, as they were all in the dining room, he went in and up stairs. Here he nosed around smelling things and upsetting things generally, when he came to the bed where the ladies had laid their wraps. On one of the hats he saw a bunch of green leaves; of course, he thought them real until he tried to eat them and the wire stems were in his mouth. Then he tried to eat a beautiful red rose on another hat with no better success so he left them, and was just leaving the room when he saw another goat coming in. He stopped to look at the goat and the other goat stopped to look back. Then he lowered his horns and shook his head, which the other goat did also. Now it made Billy mad to have a goat mock everything he did, so he bleated for him to stop immediately or he would hook him down the front stair. The other goat opened his mouth to bleat but no sound came from it and Billy stared at the new-comer harder than ever but the stranger goat only stared back. Then Billy bleated, "You get out of here in double quick time or I will have a fight with you!" The goat opened its mouth as before but no sound came from it and it continued to stand in Billy's way and stare right in his face.
This was too much for Billy. He had given him warning to get out of the way and he would not, so now he was going to make him, and he went for the goat intending to butt him out of the door. But instead of his head feeling the soft side of the goat he hit something hard which broke in a thousand pieces cutting his head and making the blood flow down his face. When this happened Billy knew he had been fooled and had butted his own image in a mirror and that there had been no goat there.
The crash brought the ladies from the dining room headed by Mrs. Windlass but when they got to the foot of the stairs to come up, they saw a large white goat standing at the top with blood flowing down his whiskers. The sight of the blood as much as the goat made one lady faint and all the others ran in different directions while Billy scampered down and out of the house.
He was making for the pasture again as fast as he could when he met a big turkey cock which spread his tail and swelled himself out intending to keep Billy from passing, but when Billy came up to him he quietly hooked him on top of the shed where he left him with all the pride knocked out of him and his feathers drooping.
Billy kept right on and was soon in the pasture. When Nanny saw her Billy all bloody she commenced to cry and wanted to know who had shot him. Billy told her he had not been shot and that he had only cut his head a little on a piece of broken glass. This explanation satisfied Nanny and she asked no questions. Naturally Billy did not explain how he had hooked his own image.
Billy walked over to the little stream that flowed through the pasture and let the water run over his head and face and soon all trace of blood was washed away, and when the farmer looked them over that night to find the goat with the bloody face, that his wife had told him had done all the mischief, he could find none, so he took it for granted that some stray goat had come in and done all the damage, and once again Billy got off without being punished for his misdeeds.
day when all the goats were grazing in the pasture, Billy looked up and saw coming toward them the farmer and a large, fat man.
"What can they want?" thought Billy. "I guess I will walk out and meet them and hear what they are talking about."
As he came within hearing distance,
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