The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, vol 14 by Sir Richard Francis Burton (the best books to read TXT) 📕

his niggardness and his greed of gain. Nor did she cease from so doing for a length of time until suddenly she overheard folk saying, “Our Kazi hath borne a babe.” And such bruit spread abroad and was reported in sundry cities, nor ceased the rumour ere it reached the ears of the Caliph Harun al-Rashid in Baghdad city. Now hearing it he marvelled and cried, “Extolled be Allah! this hap, by the Lord, never can have happened save at the hand of some woman, a wise and a clever at contrivance; nor would she have wrought after such fashion save to make public somewhat erst proceeding from the Kazi, either his covetous intent or his high-handedness in commandment. But needs must this good wife be summoned before me and recount the cunning practice she hath practiced;—Allah grant her success in the prank she hath played upon the Judge.” Such was her case; but as concerns the Kazi, he abode working at builders’ craft till his bodily force was enfeebled and his frame became frail; so presently quoth he to himself, “Do thou return to thy native land, for a long time hath now passed and this affair is clean forgotten.” Thereupon he returned to Tarabulus, but as he drew near thereto he was met outside the city by a bevy of small boys who were playing at forfeits, and lo and behold! cried one to his comrades, “O lads, do ye remember such and such a year when our Kazi was brought to bed?”[FN#220] But the Judge hearing these words returned forthright to Damascus by the way he came, saying to himself, “Hie thee not save to Baghdad city for ‘tis further away than Damascus!” and set out at once for the House of Peace. However he entered it privily, because he was still in the employ of the Prince of True Believers, Harun al-Rashid; and, changing semblance and superficials, he donned the dress of a Persian Darwaysh and fell to walking about the streets of the capital.

Here met he sundry men of high degree who showed him favour, but he could not venture himself before the Caliph albe sundry of the subjects said to him, “O Darwaysh, why dost thou not appear in the presence of the Commander of the Faithful? Assuredly he would bestow upon thee many a boon, for he is a true Sultan; and, specially, an thou panegyrise him in poetry, he will largely add to his largesse.” Now by the decree of Destiny the viceregent of Allah upon His Earth had commended the Kazi’s wife be brought from Tarabulus: so they led her into the presence and when she had kissed ground before him and salam’d to him and prayed for the perpetuity of his glory and his existence, he asked her anent her husband and how he had borne a child and what was the prank she had played him and in what manner she had gotten the better of him. She hung her head groundwards awhile for shame nor could she return aught of reply for a time, when the Commander of the Faithful said to her, “Thou hast my promise of safety and again safety, the safety of one who betrayeth not his word.” So she raised her head and cried, “By Allah, O King of the Age, the story of this Kazi is a strange”—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O

sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was

 

The Three Hundred and Ninety-first Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that quoth the Kazi’s wife, “By Allah, O King of the Age, the story of this Kazi is a strange and of the wonders of the world and ‘tis as follows.

My spouse is so niggardly of nature and greedy of gain that whatso wife he weddeth he starveth her with hunger and, whenas she loseth patience, he shreddeth her nostrils and putteth her away, taking all her good and what not. Now this case continued for a while of time. Also he had a black slave-wench and a fine eating-cloth and when dinner-time came he would cry, O handmaid, fetch the fringed tablecloth! whereupon she would bring it and garnish it with three biscuits and three onions, one to each mouth. Presently accounts of this conduct came to me at Mosul, whereupon I removed me to Tar�bulus, and there played him many a prank amongst which was the dish of Baysar by me seasoned with an over quantity of onions and garlic and such spices as gather wind in the maw and distend it like a tom-tom and breed borborygms.[FN#221] This I gave him to eat and then befel that which befel. So I said to him, Thou art in the family way and tricked him, privily bringing into the house a newborn babe.

When his belly began to drain off I set under him a large metal basin and after pinching the little one I placed it in the utensil and recited Names over it. Presently quoth he, Guard my little stranger from the draught and bring hither a wet-nurse; and I did accordingly. But he waxed ashamed of the birth and in the morning he fared forth the city nor knew we what Allah had done with him. But as he went I bespake him with the words which the poet sang when the Ass of Umm Amr[FN#222] went off:—

 

Ass and Umm Amr bewent their way; * Nor Ass nor Umm Amr returned for aye,

 

and then I cited the saying of another:—

 

When I forced him to fare I bade him hie, * Where Umm Kash’am[FN#223] caused her selle to fly.”

 

Now as the Caliph Harun al-Rashid heard these words he laughed so hearty a laugh that he fell backwards and bade the goodwife repeat her history till he waxed distraught for excess of merriment, when lo and behold! a Darwaysh suddenly entered the presence. The wife looked at her husband and recognised him; but the Caliph knew not his Kazi, so much had time and trouble changed the Judge’s cheer. However, she signalled to the Commander of the Faithful that the beggar was her mate and he taking the hint cried out, “Welcome to thee, O Darwaysh, and where be the babe thou bearest at Tarabulus?” The unfortunate replied, “O King of the Age, do men go with child?” and the Prince of True Believers rejoined, “We heard that the Kazi bare a babe and thou art that same Kazi now habited in Fakir’s habit.

But who may be this woman thou seest?” He made answer “I wot not;” but the dame exclaimed, “Why this denial, O thou who fearest Allah so little? I conjure thee by the life of the King to recount in his presence all that betided thee.” He could deny it no longer so he told his tale before the Caliph, who laughed at him aloud; and at each adventure the King cried out, “Allah spare thee and thy child, O Kazi!” Thereupon the Judge explained saying, “Pardon, O King of the Age, I merit even more than what hath betided me.”—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O

sister mine, and enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was

 

The Three Hundred and Ninety-second Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that quoth the Kazi to the King, “I deserve even more than what hath betided me for my deeds were unrighteous, O Ruler of the Time. But now the twain of us be present between thy hands; so do thou, of thy generous grace and the perfection of thy beneficence, deign reconcile me unto my wife and from this moment forwards I repent before the face of Allah nor will I ever return to the condition I was in of niggardise and greed of gain. But ‘tis for her to decide and on whatever wise she direct me to act, therein will I not gainsay her; and do thou vouchsafe to me the further favour of restoring me to the office I whilome held.” When the Prince of True Believers, Harun al-Rashid, heard the Kazi’s words he turned to the Judge’s wife and said, “Thou also hast heard what thy mate hath averred: so do thou become to him what thou wast before and thou hast command over all which thy husband requireth.” She replied, “O King of the Age, even as thou hast the advantage of knowing, verily the Heavens and the son of Adam change not; for that man’s nature is never altered except with his existence nor doth it depart from him save when his life departeth. However, an he speak the truth let him bind himself by a deed documented under thy personal inspection and thine own seal; so that if he break his covenant the case may be committed to thee.” The Caliph rejoined,” Sooth thou sayest that the nature of Adam’s son is allied to his existence;” but the Kazi exclaimed, “O our lord the Sultan, bid write for me the writ even as thou hast heard from her mouth and do thou deign witness it between us twain.”

Thereupon the King reconciled their differences and allotted to them a livelihood which would suffice and sent them both back to Tarabulus-town. This is all that hath come down to us concerning the Kazi who bare a babe: yet ‘tis as naught compared with the tale of the Bhang-eaters, for their story is wondrous and their adventures delectable and marvellous. “What may it be?” asked Shahryar; so Shahrazad began to recount

THE TALE OF THE KAZI AND THE

BHANG-EATER.[FN#224]

 

There was a certain eater of Bhang—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was

 

The Three Hundred and Ninety-third Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that there was a certain eater of