The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, vol 14 by Sir Richard Francis Burton (the best books to read TXT) 📕

well, and now hie thee forth and buy me half a faddah’s worth of Bhang, for during these days I have not eaten aught thereof.” So she went and bought me somewhat and of Hashish.—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was The Four Hundredth Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Bhang-eater’s wife fared forth and brought back somewhat of food and of Hashish: then returning to the Maristan (he continued) she gave both to me and I ate of them, after which I said to her, “Let us up and be off!” whereto she, “And when we go to the Wali what wilt thou say?” Then the Bhang wrought in the brains and I cried, “O bawd,[FN#248] O my nice young lady, well thou wottest that the skies did rain flesh and drink and fishes! Why then didst thou not tell the truth before the Chief of Police?”

Thereupon the Manager of the Madhouse cried to me, “O fellow, this is the babble of madmen!” and I, “By Allah, I ate of them boiled; and doubtless the same kind of rain fell in your house.”

The other exclaimed, “There be nor doubt nor hesitation anent the insanity of one who sayeth such say!” Now all this was related by the Bhang-eater to the Sultan who marvelled and asked him, “What could have made thee go to the Manager and recount to him such absurdities?” But the Bhang-eater resumed, saying, “I dwelt in the Maristan twenty days until at last having no Bhang to eat I came to my senses and confessed that the skies shed only rainwater, that the week containeth seven days and that this day be such-and-such; in fact I discoursed like a man in his right mind. So they discharged me and I went my ways.” But when the Kazi heard this tale he cried out to the Sultan, “O King of the Age, my story is still more wondrous than this, which is only a prank played by a wife. My name was originally Ab� K�sim al-Tamb�ri[FN#249] and I was appointed Kazi after a neat thing I did, and if thou, O our lord the Sultan, desire to be told of the adventures which befel me and of the clever trick wherefor they made me a judge, deign give thy commandment and I will commence it.” Quoth the Sultan, “Recount to us why and where they entitled thee Kazi,” and the judge began to relate

How Drummer Abu Kasim Became a Kazi.

 

There was once, O King of the Age, a merchant and a man of Bassorah who went about trading with eunuchs and slave-boys and who bore his goods in bales[FN#250] from Bassorah to Ajamland there to sell them and to buy him other merchandise for vending in Syria. On this wise he tarried a long while until one year of the years he packed up his property, as was his wont, and fared forth with it to Persia. But at that time there fortuned to be a famine and when he arrived at one of the cities of the Ajamland, where formerly the traders bought his goods, on this occasion none of them would come near him. In such case he continued a long while till at last a Khw�jah appeared before him, a man who owned abundant riches in Persia, but his home was distant three days from the place. The visitor asked saying, “O Bassorite, wilt thou sell me thy stock-in-trade?” whereto the other answered, “And how? Of course I’ll sell it!” So the buyer opened the gate of bidding and offered such-and-such; but the Bassorah man cried, “Allah openeth.” Then the purchaser added somewhat and the seller rejoined, “Give me yet more?” At last the buyer exclaimed, “I will give nothing more than ‘Anaught’;”[FN#251] and the seller accepted the offer saying, “May Allah grant us gain!” Thereupon the Persian Khwajah took over all the goods from the vendor and next day the twain met to settle money-matters. Now I, O King of the Age, happened to be abiding in that city. The seller received from the buyer payment in full nor did anything remain; but after, the Bassorah man said to his customer, “Thou still owest me the ‘Anaught,’ which thou must hand over to me.” The other replied jeeringly, “And the ‘Anaught’ is a naught; to wit, no thing;” but the Bassorite rejoined, “Here with that ‘Anaught’!”

Upon this a violent ruffle befel between them, the cause was carried before the King and payment was required in the Divan, for the Bassorite still demanded from the purchaser his “Anaught.” The Sultan asked, “And what be this ‘Anaught’?” and the Bassorah man answered, “I wot not, O King of the Age;” and the Bassorah man answered, “I wot not, O King of the Age;”

whereat the Sultan marvelled.—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say.

Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night, and the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was

 

The Four Hundred and First Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Sultan marvelled at the action of this Bassorite and his saying, “Give me my ‘Anaught!’” Presently the tidings of that cause reached me, O King; so I went to the Divan which was thronged with folk and all present kept saying, “How would it be if this ‘Anaught’ were a fraud or a resiliation of the contract?” Thereupon the Sultan exclaimed, “Whoso shall settle this case, to him verily will I be bountiful.” So I came forward, O King of the Age, thinking of a conceit and kissed ground and said to him, “I will conclude this cause,” and he rejoined, “An thou determine it and dispose of it I will give thee largesse; but if not, I will strike off thy head.” I rejoined, “To hear is to obey.” Then I bade them bring a large basin which could hold a skinful of water and ordered them fill it; after which I called out to the Bassorite, “Draw near,”

and he drew near. Then I cried to the claimant, “Close thy fist!”

and he did accordingly, and again I commanded him to close it and to keep it tight closed. He obeyed my bidding and I continued “Dip thy neave into the basin,” and he dipped it. Presently I asked, “Is thy hand in the water and thy fist closed?” and he replied, “It is.” Then said I, “Withdraw it,” and he withdrew it, and I cried, “Open thy neave,” and he opened it. Then I asked, “What thing hast thou found therein?” and he answered, “Anaught;”

whereupon I cried to him, “Take thine ‘Anaught’ and wend thy ways.” Hereupon the Sultan said to the Bassorite, “Hast thou taken thine ‘Anaught,’ O man?” and said he “Yes.” Accordingly the King bade him gang his gait. Then the Sultan gifted me with costly gifts and named me Kazi; and hence, O King of the Age, is the cause of the title in the case of one who erst was Abu Kasim the Drummer. Hereat quoth the Sultan, “Relate to us what rare accident befel thee in thy proper person.” SO the judge began to recount

 

The Story of the Kazi and his Slipper.

 

Once upon a time, O King of the Age, I had a slipper which hardly belonged to its kind nor ever was there seen a bigger. Now one day of the days I waxed aweary of it and sware to myself that I would never wear it any more; so in mine anger I flung it away and it fortuned to fall upon the flat roof of a Khw�jah’s house where the stucco was weakest. Thence it dropped through, striking a shelf that held a number of phials full of the purest rosewater and the boarding yielded breaking all the bottles and spilling their contents. The house-folk heard the breakage ringing and rattling; so they crowded one after other to discover what had done the damage and at last they found my papoosh sprawling amiddlemost the room. Then they made sure that the shelf had not been broken except by the violence of that slipper, and they examined it when, behold, the house-master cried, saying, “This be the papoosh of Abu Kasim the Drummer.” Hereupon he took it and carried it to the Governor who summoned me and set me before him; then he made me responsible for the phials and whatso was therein and for the repairing of the terrace-roof and upraising it again. And lastly he handed to me the slipper which was exceedingly long and broad and heavy and, being cruel old it showed upwards of an hundred and thirty patches nor was it unknown to any of the villagers. So I took it and fared forth and, being anangered with the article, I resolved to throw it into some dark hole or out-of-the-way place; —And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was The Four Hundred and Second Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that Abu Kasim the Drummer continued to the Sultan; I resolved to throw it into some dark hole or out-of-the-way place; and presently I came to the watercloset of the Hammam and cast it into the conduit saying, “Now shall none ever see it again; nor shall I be troubled with its foul aspect for the rest of my life.” Then I returned home and abode there the first day and the second, but about noon on the third a party of the Governor’s men came and seized me and bore me before him; and no sooner did he see me than he cried out, “Throw him!” Accordingly they laid me out at fullest length and gave me an hundred cuts with a scourge[FN#252]

which I bore stoutly and presently said, “O my Sultan,[FN#253]