The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, vol 14 by Sir Richard Francis Burton (the best books to read TXT) 📕

The Four Hundred and Forty-second Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the youth, the owner of the calf, after beating the Shaykh of the Vagabonds with a sore bashing within the Bath went forth by the back door.

Whereupon (continued the Larrikin) the followers of the Chief went in and they found him at his last breath and moaning from the excess of blows. Quoth they, “What is the matter with thee?”

and quoth he, “That man with a malady who came into the Hammam is none other but the owner of the calf and he hath killed me.” So they took him up and carried him from the place and he said to them, “Do ye bear me outside the city and set up for me a tent and lay me therein, after which do ye gather round about me and never leave me at all.” Hereat they mounted him upon an ass and bore him to the place he described and, pitching a tent, set him therein and all sat around him. Presently the tidings reached me, whereupon I changed my clothes for a disguise and drew near the tent whereabouts I found a Badawi-man feeding his sheep. So I said to him, “O Badawi, take this ducat and draw near yonder tent and call aloud, saying, ‘I am the owner of the calf;’ after which make off with thy life for an they catch thee they will slay thee.” “By Allah,” quoth the Arab, “even if they rode their best mares none of them could come up with me!” So I took charge of the sheep while the Badawi approaching the tent cried in his loudest voice, “By Allah, I am the owner of the calf.” Hearing this the vagabonds sprang to their feet as one body and drew their weapons and rushed after the Badawi; but, when he had run some distance from the tent with all the men behind him, I went in and drawing from below my clothes the tail of the calf said, “O Shaykh, is this the tail of a calf or a kid?” The Elder asked, “Art thou not he who cried out, I am the owner of the calf?” and I answered, “No, I am not,” and came down upon him with the tail and beat him until he could no longer breathe. Then I took the properties belonging to his party and wrapping them in a sheet carried them off and quitting the place I went in to my mother and said to her, “Take them to the worth of the calf.” Now those who had run after the Badawi ceased not pursuing him, yet could none of them come up with him and when they were tired they returned from the chase and stinted not walking until they entered the tent. There they found the Shaykh breathless nor could he move save to make signs; so they sprinkled a little water upon his face; and the life returned to him and he said to them, “Verily the owner of the calf came to me and beat me till he killed me and the wight who cried, ‘I am the owner of the calf’ is an accomplice of his.” Thereupon all waxed furious and the Elder said to them, “Bear me home and give out that your Shakyh is deceased; after which do you bathe my body and carry me to the cemetery and bury me by night and next morning disinter me so that the owner of this calf may hear that I am dead and leave me in peace. Indeed as long as I continue in this condition he will devise for me device after device and some day will come in to me and kill me downright.” They did what their Shaykh bade them and began crying and keening and saying, “Verily our Chief is deceased,” so that the report was bruited abroad that the Shaykh of the Vagabonds had died. But I, the owner of the calf, said to myself, “By Allah, an he be dead, they will assuredly make for him some mourning ceremony.” Now when they had washed him and shrouded him and carried him out upon the bier, and were proceeding to the graveyard that they might bury him, and had reached half way to it, lo and behold! I joined the funeral train and suddenly walking under the coffin with a sharp packing-needle[FN#337] in hand,—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O

sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable.” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I should relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was

The Four Hundred and Forty-third Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that I walked under the bier packing-needle in hand, and thrust it into the Shaykh of the Vagabonds, whereat he cried out and sprang up and sat upright upon his shell.[FN#338] Now when the King heard this tale he laughed and was cheered and the Larrikin resumed:—By Allah, when I thrust the needle into him and he sat upright in his coffin all the folk fell to wondering and cried, “Verily the dead hath come to life.” Hereupon, O my lord, my fear waxed great and I said to myself, “All adventures are not like one another: haply the crown[FN#339] will recognise me and slay me.” So I went forth the city and came hither. Cried the King, “Of a truth, this tale is marvellous;” when the second Larrikin exclaimed, “By Allah, O my lord, my tale is rarer and stranger than this, for indeed therein I did deeds worthy of the Jinn-mad and amongst the many tricks that came from my hand I died and was buried and I devised a device whereby they drew me from my tomb.” Quoth the King, “Wall�hi, if thy tale be more wondrous than that which forewent it I needs must reward thee with somewhat. But now tell us of what betided thee.” So the man began to relate the

History of the Second Larrikin.

I was living, O my lord, under the same roof with my father’s wife and I had with me some bundles of sesame cobs, but no great quantity, which I stored in a little basket hanging up in the great ceiling-vault of our house. Now one day of the days a party of merchants, numbering five or so, together with their head man, came to our village and began asking for sesame; and they happened to meet me on the road hard by our place, so they put me the same question. I asked them, “Do you want much of it?” and they answered, “We require[FN#340] about an hundred ardabbs.”[FN#341] Quoth I, “By me is a large quantity thereof;”

and quoth they, “Have the kindness to show us the muster;”[FN#342] whereto I rejoined, “Upon the head and the eye!”

Hereat I led them into the room wherein the basket was suspended with a few cobs of sesame (there being none other) and I went up by an outside staircase to the top of the vault, which I pierced, and putting forth my hand, took up a palm-full and therewith returned to them and showed the specimen. They saw that the sesame was clean grain, and said one to other, “This house is naught but full to the vault,[FN#343] for had there been a small quantity there he would have opened the door and shown us the heaps.” Hereupon I conversed with them and settled the price and they paid me as earnest money for an hundred ardabbs of sesame six hundred reals. I took the coin and gave it to the wife of my father, saying to her, “Cook for us a supper that shall be toothsome.” Then I slaughtered for her five chickens and charged her that, after she should have cooked the supper, she must prepare for us a pot of Bays�rah[FN#344] which must be slab and thick. She did as I bade her and I returned to the merchants and invited them to sup with us and night in our house. Now when sunset time came I brought them in for the evening meal and they supped and were cheered, and as soon as the hour for nightprayer had passed I spread for them sleeping-gear and said to them, “O

our guests, be careful of yourselves lest the wind come forth from your bellies, for with me dwelleth the wife of my father, who disgusteth fizzles and who dieth if she hear a fart.” After this they slept soundly from the stress of their fatigue and were overwhelmed with slumber; but when it was midnight, I took the pot of Baysarah and approached them as they still slumbered and I besmeared[FN#345] their backsides with the Baysarah and returned and slept until dawn of day in my own stead hard beside them. At this time all five were awake, and as each one arose before his companions he sensed a somewhat soft below him and putting forth his hand felt his bum bewrayed[FN#346] with the stuff, and said to his neighbour, “Ho, such an one, I have skited!” and the other said, “We have skited.” But when I heard this, O my lord, I arose forthwith and cried out saying, “Haste ye to my help, O ye folk, for these guests have killed my father’s wife.”—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I should relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was The Four Hundred and Forty-fifth Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale, that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that quoth the second Larrikin to the King:—O my lord, I cried out saying, “The guests have slain the wife of my father.” But when they heard me the merchants arose and ran away, each