The Diary of Elizabeth St. James by Ciara Erenberger (black female authors txt) 📕

bold>April 29, 1874

The breeze slowly whispered my long brown hair into my eyes. I looked down over the cliff and watched the waves lap up against the rocks. Oh how I would miss this place, all of the memories and good times. I was so engulfed in the water's rhythm that I didn't even notice my best friend had walked up behind me until he said
"Beautiful isn't it. You know I don't think that I have single memory of this place without you being here" I jumped a foot in the air and cried
"Will how many times have I told you not to sneak up on me!" He just grinned like a fool and said
"What ever happened to the nothing ever scares the fearless Elizabeth?" I just glared at him. He just sighed and said " Why do you have to move to Iowa, nothing's there it's all here in California"
"Will, you know it's not my choice Pa and everyone else can't stay here, not after ma's death. Plus Ma's parents live in Iowa and Pa's parents live in Illinois. It will be nice to see them after ten years. Please don't make this harder than it already is," I pleaded.
"Sorry Liz it's just going to be so boring here without you, I mean who is going to keep me out, and get me out of trouble?"
I laughed and said "Guess you'll just have to stop getting into trouble, besides I'll write once a week as long as you write back"
"Yeah, Yeah you know I'll write back. Come on we should probably head back you're leaving tomorrow and you still have to finish packing."
"Okay lets go home, but can we stop off at my house so I can grab what's left there. I know I was suppose to do it earlier, but I just couldn't bring myself to go in there alone. Just not yet" I said sighing wistfully
"No problem do you want me to go inside with you?" He asked
"Thanks, but I think I can go in by myself as long as I know you're out there waiting for me. I just need to do this partially alone. I won't be long." I promised
"Hey Lizzie take all the time you need I'm not going anywhere." He said softly.
I just smiled at him. Just then we turned the corner on the old path and came to a huge clearing with a partially burnt down wooden house in the middle of it. I stared at the house, my home for over ten years. I remember coming here years ago. To this very clearing, but back then there was no house. Just an empty patch of land surrounded by trees. It took two years to build. Amazing isn't it. My house took two years to build and only an hour to practically be destroyed. All of a sudden I felt a hand shaking my arm.
"Liz you alright?" Will ask concern in his eyes "You sure you don't want me to go in there with you? Or better yet just let me go in there and get your stuff."
I smiled and said" No, that’s alright I have to face this before I leave."
I took a deep breath and headed for the house. I could still smell the smoke from the fire and for an instant I froze thinking that the fire was just waiting for me to enter the house then it would start up again. I shook my head, I was being crazy the fire was out and it wouldn't start unless I started it myself. I reached the front door, or what was left of it. Carefully pushing the broken door aside I stepped into the hall of my home. I was instantly enveloped by a stronger reeking smell of smoke and choked on it. I made my way down the hall and into the kitchen, where the fire had started. The west side of the wall in the kitchen was almost gone. There was nothing left to save in this part of the house that my brothers and sisters wouldn't have gotten already. So I made my way to the stairs that led to the second and third floors of the house. I slowly and carefully went up the stairs. Some stairs were missing altogether while others were only half gone. I tried to avoid those so as not to fall through the stairs and hurt myself. I by-passed the second floor, there was almost nothing left in those rooms. There was two rooms on the third floor, Lilly and my room and Annie's room/ Mama's sewing room. I slowly walk into my room. The smoke damage is less in here. Hardly any at all. I look at where Lilly's and my bed would be. Most of my books and possessions have been put in boxes and are currently at Will's house waiting to be stored in the covered wagon with everything else. The only things that remain are a old quilt, hairbrush, and some ribbons. Things Lilly must have forgotten. I grab those things and head into the other room, Mama's and Annie's room. I look around and carefully avoid the hole in the center of the room. I walk up to the window and look outside. I see Will sitting on the ground looking anxious, but knowing that this is something that I have to do alone. I can't take it anymore, this house and all of its memories. I can feel the tears clouding my eyes shaking my head to clear my vision I suddenly start to run out of the room. I'm half way across the charred room when I let out a small shriek and trip over a loose board on the floor. I looked back at the board that tripped me glaring at it when I see something glimmering in the sunlight. I crawled over to the loose board and gave it a good hard yank and it came up. Underneath the board was a small hidey hole. In that hole was a small gold necklace with a ring on it. On the ring was a tiny sapphire stone in the shape of a heart. I gingerly pick it up and examine it. I've never seen this before which surprises me because Ma always let me wear her jewelry. Looking back into the hidey hole I see a small journal with a black leather cover and a blue ribbing sticking out of it. Opening the journal to where the ribbon is I see a note and its addressed to me.

Dear Elizabeth,
Happy eighteenth birthday! When I turned eighteen my mother gave me a journal and said to always follow my heart and to write down my thoughts because I always had a ton of them. Please write in this journal like I did. It doesn't matter what you write. Its been a tradition for the past five generations of my family. I give you this journal also in hopes that it will bring you closer to me. I know that I won't be there for when you turn eighteen. I want you to have this in hopes that you will always remember me. I was also given a necklace when I turned eighteen. Cherish it as I did and never let anything stand in your way and take care of your brothers and sisters you were always the wise and smart one.
Love,
Ma

I didn't even realize I was crying until I saw a tear drop fall on to the page. I sat there for another hour it seemed like before I stood up. Adding the journal to my pile of stuff I put the necklace in the journal so I wouldn't lose it. Grabbing the bundle I started slowly downstairs. As I walked out the door I see Will stand up and come towards me.
"Liz are you aright you look like you've seen a ghost." I numbly hand him the journal and collapsed on to the ground. I watched Will read the letter my mother left me his eyes widening. When he finished reading it we just stared at each other. Finally I broke the silence by saying,” Why didn't Pa give this to me when Ma died?"
"Maybe he didn't know about it Lizzie, come on we should head home."
"Yeah probably should," I say but not really meaning it.
I was lost in a daze thinking when Will suddenly says "Where did you find the diary and necklace?"
I smile at the question and said " I tripped over a loose floor board on my way out of Annie and Ma's room." I looked over at will to see him grinning to.
"You know you sure didn't get you mother's gracefulness did you?" He joked.
I glared at him and shot back "Your one to talk saying how you fell flat on your face while walking on flat ground! And yes, I did inherit my mother's grace thank you. I just have my special moments" Will laughed quietly. We walked in silence for the rest of the way to his house where my family has been staying since the fire. When we got to Will's house we went inside and I went straight to my Pa and showed the journal and necklace. Pa read and reread the letter over and over again. When he read it over twenty time he finally gave it back to me and said "I never knew about the necklace or journal Lizzie, I swear, if I did I would have given it to you years ago."
"I know Pa. Don't worry about it. I'm going to go to bed early tonight, see you in the morning okay Pa."
"Okay, remember you have to get up early." he said. So I headed off to bead where I wrote my entire day in the journal that is now my diary.


April 30, 1874

I'm back in my old house in my comfortable bed, But something is wrong I feel it deep in my bones. What woke me up? I crept out of bed and walked toward the small window in my room. I looked out at the pitch blackness. Nothing out of the ordinary. I Walked slowly back to my bed trying to convince myself that everything was okay. That's when I smelled something off. Was that smoke? I headed towards the door. I slowly walked down the two flights of stairs. I opened the door to the bottom floor, but as I opened the door I was suddenly engulfed by a thick smoke that made me choke and my eyes water. The smoke was blinding I couldn't see three feet in front of me. I walked slowly through the smoke trying to feel where I was at. When I had wandered aimlessly through the smoke for a few minutes. I found my way to the kitchen. As I opened the kitchen door I