The Lullabye Tree by Jdald (best autobiographies to read .txt) 📕

It's a big tree, growing in the middle of the yard. The branches pointed up towards the sun, the roots ran long and wide, creating seats under the spreading
canopy.

I played here as a child. The wooden swing long gone now, actually burned away in a fire. In the summer, we laid our checkered cloth, put out the basket, made
sure to cover anything edible, cause the flying bugs were always on the lookout for food, as were the ants. No matter the heat of summer, it was always 20`
cooler in the shade.

This is where I was married, we hung lanterns from the branches for the reception that night. Our initials still scratched in the trunk, if I had known
then as I do now, they wouldn't be there. The children played here too, I made sure they enjoyed the same things that I had, swings, cool summer shade,
picnics.

Lately, it had been my sanctuary. I stared at the letters, J+M .. crudely scratched inside of a heart. I leaned my head back against the trunk.. Maybe I
had been neglectful, no, no, I wasn't going to give him excuses, I wasn't going to condone his fling with an eighteen year old, and I wasn't going to
forgive. My life had been given to him, devoted to him and my children.

I had been sturdy, strong, stood up to whatever hardship had come along, backed him in all
his schemes and encouraged him, even when I knew they were going to fail.

I let the tears slide down my cheeks, the branches above began to sway slowly. Back and forth, the leaves moved in the slight breeze.. I was tired, so many
thoughts, so many years, I just wanted to shut my eyes, and I heard the song.

hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby

I did.. I closed my eyes and went to sleep..

"I know, it may not be the right thing to say, but this is the most peaceful she's looked in a long time, I think maybe, we shouldn't be sad, maybe she is in
a better place, at least her heart isn't broken now. "You were a good mother, you were a good wife, sleep mom, we love you."

The Lullabye Tree

And this was where she let go. This is the place where she gave up her spirit.
He walked around the tree. He'd never noticed how really large it was.

In fact, he hadn't really noticed anything about her, their life, all the times she backed him and, never complained.

He sat on the large root, staring out into space. She'd never asked for much.
How many birthdays had he missed? How many anniversaries had he begged off, how many excuses?

As if the way he had treated her, taken her for granted wasn't enough, all the women.. last but not least, the child.. She'd been eighteen still, he was old enough to be her father.. not true, more like grandfather.

Tears ran unabated, he felt as if his heart were going to burst.. He couldn't apologize, he couldn't put his arms around her and tell her, he truly had loved
her, but maybe... He stood, wrapped his arms around the big tree, he cried, wailed, screamed... begged..

The tree vibrated, it's branches moved ever so slightly, a leaf touched his face and, he heard the song...

hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby

"No good dog.. this was too good for him, too peaceful, he should have been
drawn and quartered..burn in hell!"

The Lullabye Tree

His hands shook.. he took in deep breaths trying to steady himself, trying to steady his whole life.

It was beautiful under the old tree. He imagined this his secret place, his sanctuary, they didn't know how often he sat here and just wished, and just cried..

It had been his childhood wish to be a man.. well wasn't that the wish of all young boys? He'd wished to be free of moms' rules and regulations, he'd wished
to be free of a father that took his mother for granted. But even when he had become a man, he was not satisfied.

It just didn't seem to be fair, they took for granted that he was strong, that he knew what to do.. Did it have to be that way, why did the oldest have to be
strong? He walked around each day in a fog, life moving around him like a carousel, nothing different, the same thing, round and around..

He placed the little box on the ground next to the large root. Laughing, he rolled up his sleeve.. Oh if they could see him now.

All of his paraphenalia laid out, this was his escape, the little bag, the spoon, the hypodermic... He tightened the belt around his arm..

The tree hummed, leaves rustled, he felt the liquid burn through his veins, the magical mood assaulted his brain.. he leaned back against the tree.. the
branches swayed to and fro... And he heard the song..

hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby

"Oh God!.. I suspected, I knew something was wrong.. I put it off, vowing to talk to him later, each time I saw him, I said to myself.. I am going to talk to
him, but, it was always... later.."

The Lullabye Tree

It had been a bad week, the fights with him, the boss and, to top it off, waiting for the pink slip.

Where did it all go wrong? This hadn't been her dream, an alcoholic husband, the beatings, two rotten kids that laughed when their father berated and beat
her.

Her mother and father had loved her, had only wanted the best for her and, she had only wanted him. She had been warned. Still, she allowed him to lure
her away from a loving, secure home. She had been enthralled by all the promises. She had been captured by his skill at love making, then she had been
trapped by pregnancy and his abuse.

Her mother and father had cried, they had begged.. Now they were gone. She was glad about that, what would they think of her, what would they think of the
horrid little monsters she'd brought into the world.. she sighed, she was tired..

She walked along, not sure where she was going.. There it was, a huge tree. It was weather and time worn. The canopy shot out from around it like an umbrella. Large branches raised their leaves up into the sky, beckoning the sun to shine down on them.

She walked towards it, the closer she came the lighter her spirits became..
Under the canopy of the tree felt safe, secure, she thought about her parents..
She settled down against the tree.. The branches swayed, the leaves rustled
lightly. She heard the song..

hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby

"Poor thing, does anyone know who she is..? no.. Well, she's at peace, she's
smiling."

The Lullabye Tree

Her mother had been gone five years now, her brother three. Her father had died not six months after her mother. She could not find it in her heart to forgive
him.

There were three left and it was like living on a powder keg. They didn't know how to talk to each other, they just didn't know what to say.

There were always tears, always questions, and they couldn't get past it, as if their mothers' death had paved the way to eternal sorrow. Perhaps this was
their punishment, perhaps this was a lesson for selfish narrow mindedness. For all the times they could have, but, they didn't.

She had her own demons, she could have done more. All the times her mother had called. Mother had always sounded sad, it brought her down and even as she
remembered all the comfort her mother had given her, she had shied away from talking or even visiting her.. now she was gone.. now, it was her turn to be
alone.

The old tree called out to her, this had been mothers' safe haven when she had been sad.. The area had changed somewhat but, there it was, the old majestic
tree.

The cough racked her thin frame, she sat on the root under the canopy, it felt so good here. She wished her mother would have been there when she'd visited
the Oncologist.. His words still traveled the electrical circuit of her brain..
"It's lung cancer, advanced...." She had stared up at him, he continued. "You may have, six months... I'm sorry."

It had been six months plus, she'd made it past that mark but, was it worth it?
Chemo had taken all of her hair, all of her appetite, if a stiff wind blew it would probably blow her away. She spent days hugging her porcelain friend.

The coat she wore, wrapped around her small frame like a blanket. It wasn't that it was cold, no, she was cold, always cold. She coughed again. Holding her
chest as the pain doubled her over..

Her breathing shallow, she prayed, she prayed like the man Job.. She threw her arms around the trunk of the tree.

The tree began to move, the branches swayed, the leaves shook slightly, and she heard it..

hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby

The pain was gone, she was warm, she expelled the frothy red breath.. and
closed her eyes..

"This is the daughter of the woman that died a few years ago, wow, who would imagine she would die here like her mother.."

"Not only her mother but, her father and her brother, poor thing, she was so thin, she looks peaceful doesn't she?"

The Lullaby Tree

The dregs of life, the lowly, the downtrodden, the absolutely insignificant, that's what he dealt with each and every day.

It made no sense, there was no rhyme or reason to it. He had always been able to take it in stride, it never affected him, it didn't touch him. He clucked
and clicked his lips in sympathy when all he really wanted was to be left alone, to be safe in his own world.

But this time, it did touch him, this time when he clucked and clicked his lips it was with true sympathy, sympathy for himself.
His work on this case had been extensive, when they caught the madman and, that is exactly what he was, a psychopathic, antisocial, homicidal maniac, in the
truest sense.

He remembered how he had felt so superior, how he had made his diagnosis, how he had told the man in no uncertain terms he was not ill, it wasn't