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Come To Me
By: ZZMBRASHEAR


CHAPTER 1
I just got back from war. I have been deployed for two years and have to go back for two more next year. I’m only nineteen. My father tried with all his might to not make me go. I can remember the fight we had before I deployed like it happened just a few minutes ago.
“You are not going.” My father told me while unpacking my duffel bag.
“That's not your choice. This is my career. Its people like me who die everyday so people like you can have freedom. I want to be one of those people.” I tried to tell him but he broke down. He sat on the floor with his hand over his head.
“I can’t lose you. Your all I got. When your mother passed away five years ago all I could think is that I would keep my promise.” He said without looking up.
“What promise? You never mentioned anything about a promise.” He looked up.
“Before your mother passed she made me promise that I would protect you and your brother. I can’t let you do this.”
“Dad you are not letting me do anything. This is my decision. Milo is supporting me. Why can’t you? I’m going to do this. I will be back in two years. The time will fly. Milo will move here to stay with you while I’m gone.” I told him trying to be reassuring but he didn’t believe it.
“I’m sorry but I just don’t support you doing this. If you do this there is a chance that you can die.”
“But if I die than at least I will be dying for my country. Dad this is what I believe in.” I told him standing up and repacking my bags.
“Fine. You can go but I’m not condoning it.” He said getting up and walking out the door.

CHAPTER 2
That was the last time I talked to my father but my brother sent me letters. Every letter I got was like a trip to home. Milo explained how work was going and every inch of life. I stayed up for hours reading his letters. It was like I never left. The most recent letter said:

“I wish you were home. Nothing is the same without you. I’m happy that you come home in 4 weeks. My girlfriend is pregnant. Her due date is April 5th. We have been planning it for a while. Gloria is so happy. I wish you could see how much she changed. We all really miss you. Not to worry you but Dad went to the hospital a few weeks ago. He didn’t want me to tell you but keeping it from you every time we write just felt wrong. He won’t tell me whats wrong with him but the doctors said that he was having chest pains. Please don’t worry I bet its nothing. Good luck, hope to see you soon. Lots of love.”

Getting that letter made my heart drop. I was thinking that my father might die and I didn’t say a word to him before I left. Milo said that to worry but that didn’t help. My unit was made up of 8 people. We were protecting the Village today. Milo kept asking where I was but it is against the rules to tell anyone. One of my men went missing today. It was Shinder. He was 20 and had a baby boy and a wife. My unit went searching for him today but there was no luck. Life in war is terrifying. There is a chance every one of your men could die everyday. I have seen things that people have nightmares about but they can wake up. Its like I’m stuck in a never ending nightmare. Never to wake up and every minute it gets worse. I saw one of my men die. She was ambushed. She never saw it coming. I tried to save her but there was so much blood. So much blood. I can’t get the image out of my mind. She was my responsibility and I let her down. She wasn’t even suppose to be taking that position that day but she was doing a favor for one of her fellow deployers. When I got to her she had already lost a great deal of blood. One of her legs were severed almost completely off. I tried to stop the bleeding and tried to get her to the shelter for a nurse to look at her. When I got close to the nursing tent it blew up. There was no where for me to take her. One of my men died on my watch and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.
War is so different. We stand in scorching heat 24 hours of a day. We don’t dare take our helmet off, terrified of what will happen. We stay up all hours of the night and are on alert all the time. I sometimes wonder what I would be doing if I was still home.
Before I knew it I was on a bus back to Mississippi. When I got home Milo and Gloria were waiting for me. I couldn’t believe I was home. My father was even there. He told me that it was good to see me and that he was proud of me. I asked him how he was. He lied and said he was fine. I thought that that was all I would know and gave up. My father and I spent a lot of time together before I left. I got to see the birth of my nephew. He is so beautiful. Milo and Gloria decided on the name Nicholas John Trove.
When it came time for me to deploy again I didn’t want to go. I think that I would miss my family more now than I did before. It wasn’t even 2 months after I left that I got sent home. They told me that my father passed away and that I could return home to pay my respects. When I got there Milo and I sat down and talked.
“What happened to Daddy?” I asked him. I didn’t want to mess around I wanted the truth now
“He had type 3 lung cancer. The doctors said that he knew about it for a while.” He told me.
“Why didn’t he tell us?” I asked him not understanding any of this.
“I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

CHAPTER 3
My father knew that he was dying and didn’t tell me. I could think of a million reasons why he didn’t tell me but not one of them were good enough. I felt so bad. I should have been there. It should have been me who talked to him last.
Today is the funeral. I didn’t want to go. If I went then it was like I was believing her was actually dead. In my mind I am still at war. I’m dreaming this and none of it is real but then I open up my eyes and nothing. I stayed in Dad’s room for weeks. Milo was taking care of me. He brought me food. My Dad and I were very close when I was young. My mother favored Milo because he was the one who did everything for her. I stayed by Dads side. I went to all the baseball games with him and I even went to his construction site to help out on his jobs. He loved having me around.
“I signed you up for therapy.” Milo said as he brought me breakfast. “You need to get out of this house. You stay here and sit. At night you cry and I pretend that I don’t hear you but its heart breaking. You are family and I will take care of you.”
“Okay I will go.” I really didn’t want to go but I knew it would make Milo happy and he has done a lot for me. When I was 2 my mother dropped me off at her friends house and said she would puck me up later but she never came. Milo’s Father and Mother were a close friend of my fathers before he got in a car accident and passed away. His parents took me in right away and called them mom and dad since then. On my 10th Birthday I got a letter from my biological mother. It said Happy Birthday Love Mom. You would expect I would be pissed but I wasn’t I was happy that she didn’t forget about me. I still have that card.
“When your father passed what did you think?” My therapist asked
“I thought that I must be dreaming and that I would wake up from the nightmare.”
“Now Milo informed me that you are not there blood family. You are a child that the Trove family adopted.”
“Yes” I told her “They did adopt me and for that I am eternally great-full.”
“Why do you stay in your fathers room?”
“I stay there because I feel safe. When I felt bad I would lay in bed with him and it would make me feel good. When I’m in his room I feel like he is still alive.”
“I no that you’re in a grieving period but your father is dead. He is not coming back.” She said with a firm tone.
“Don’t you think I know that. I’m not stupid. I have been to war and back twice. I no what death is. Don’t you think I know that he will never walk through that door again. That when I call his name no one will answer. I know he is dead but being close to his things helps me cope. Okay. I did this for Milo and I’m not going to take crap from you.” I screamed but the funny thing is that I didn’t know I was screaming.
“Good. We are making progress. I don’t think that you have a problem with your fathers death. I believe you are handling it very well. I think you are having problems with what you saw in the war. War changes people. I have people that come in here not able to feel anything or have any emotions because the war had sucked the life out of them. Don’t let that happen to you, get help now.” I didn’t want to believe her but she was right. So I sat down and looked at the window, with my back to her.
“At night its the worst. I dream of things. Things that would make your skin crawl. I use to scream but Dad would wake me up. At night I don’t sleep anymore terrified I will have a memory and no one will be there to wake me up. That is one out of a hundred ways that remind me my father is not here.” I told her. I never mentioned anything like that to Milo. Why am I just now opening up? What changed?
“When do you have to go back?” She asked me.
“I was suppose to 2 days ago. My unit is small. Two of my men died and if they lose me to I don’t know if they will make it. I made an oath to my country and will stick to it. I will deploy in one week.”
“I wouldn’t if I were you.” She told me, “You could end up like those other people I told you about.“ I knew she was right but I’m stubborn and I knew there was nothing left for me here. Too many memories.

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