Reporting for Doodie by J.L. Smith (best life changing books txt) 📕

~ A DAY IN THE LIFE ~

"We should all have one person who knows how to bless us despite the evidence; Grandmother was that person to me."

~Phyllis Theroux

So, when my daughter and her husband were simultaneously deployed, my beautiful 2-year old grandson Marcus came to stay with his Gramma. I'm sure he didn't understand why, or realize how long he'd be staying, but he welcomed me and entered MY home and my life with the excitement and exuberance that only a child can exude. We quickly fell into our daily routine and in doing so, grew into a comfort zone of a grandmother who loves her grandson unwaveringly and a grandson who loves his Gramma unconditionally.

To give you a little glimpse into a “normal” day for me and my little man, I’ll share with you a letter he sent to his mommy and daddy. (He even sent it via email…smart little guy, huh?)

“Hi, Mommy and Daddy,
I just wanted to tell you that I love you and miss you and not to worry because Gramma is taking good care of me. I thought I’d write and tell you about our days together.
When I wake up in the morning, Gramma always says “Good morning, my little Love Bug” and picks me up and gives me lots of hugs and kisses. It's cute now, but I hope she doesn’t call me that in public when I get older…that could prove to be very embarrassing when I’m around the ladies. (I'm not really sure where "public" is, but Gramma makes me call her "Aunt Judy" whenever we're there. What's up with that?)
Then she puts on the TV and makes me a good breakfast. One day Gramma said she wanted to see my waffles “all gone” but I wanted to test her, so when she wasn’t looking, I threw it in the toilet. But I got busted because I forgot to flush. Gramma tried not to laugh, but as usual, she couldn’t help it.
Then she makes me chocolate milk and gives me my vitamin. She always says if I don’t eat my food, she’s going to turn the TV off…and sometimes she really does it (even if Teutron is on!!!). Charles told me she was a pushover – sometimes I’m not sure he knows what he’s talking about!
When I’m finished eating, we go into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Gramma smells my mouth to make sure it smells fresh and clean. Then Gramma washes my face – I always try to run away when I see the washcloth in her hands, but she always catches me. She runs pretty fast for a Gramma.
Then it’s time to get dressed and go to school. Gramma is teaching me to put on my clothes all by myself. That makes me feel pretty darn proud! Still having a little trouble with those button things, but I’m really getting the hang of it! Now if only I could change my own diaper…I bet Gramma would really like that!
Gramma packs me a really good lunch – stuff like sandwiches, chips, string cheese, fruit, applesauce…you get the idea. On Tuesdays and Fridays we have Splash Day and we get wet - I like Splash Days. Gramma bought me special swim shoes to wear so I don’t slip and fall.
I try to say “Gramma” as many times as I can so she doesn’t forget that I’m around (not that she ever would or could). I can’t count that high, but I hear Gramma tell people that sometimes I call her over 500 times before we even leave for school. Gramma must really like my school because every day when she drops me off she says “Thank God for daycare!” Wonder why she says that??
We have little rituals like counting the steps when we go down them and holding hands when we walk to the car. If she doesn’t take my hand, I stop dead in my tracks and say “hand”. (Except that time when she had that funny looking thing on her hand and arm…I didn't like that thing…it looked like something out of a scary movie. I just couldn't hold that hand! But I did hold the other hand so Gramma wouldn't feel bad.) When I get out of the car, I stand on the edge of the door and count to 3, then Gramma says “blast off” and I jump.
Speaking of Gramma’s car, one day I had a crayon in my hand and she didn’t know it…I wrote all over her door and window with my yellow crayon. Gramma wasn’t very happy – she made me help clean it off. What’s a “Lexus” and why can't I write on it?
Most times when she says “don’t touch”…I bat my eyes at her and smile and touch anyway, just to see what she’ll do. She doesn’t do anything but say “one of these days Marcus, to the moon” as she shakes her fist at me. Works every time. Charles taught me that trick…she says that to him too.
At school, all the kids fight over who is going to play with me and sit by me to eat. Maybe it’s just because I’m one of the youngest there, but I’m pretty darn popular. One of the teachers told Gramma this morning that “no one should be allowed to be that cute”. I guess the shorties will really dig me when I get older…just like my daddy…huh?
When Gramma comes to pick me up I always run into her arms – I am always happy to see her and I know it makes her feel really good. Then I grab my backpack, yell “bye…see you tomorrow” to all my admirers and head for the door. Sometimes some of the girls – and even some of the other boys – try to kiss me when I’m leaving. But the teacher makes them stop. Yeech…thank you, teacher!
When we get home, Gramma gives me a yummy snack and plays with me outside before making me a nutritional and delicious dinner. I just want candy for dinner, but for some reason Gramma says “no…there’s a new sheriff in town, buddy!” What does that mean? I try to tell her that Mommy and Daddy give me candy all the time, but she doesn’t know what I’m saying. That’s probably a good thing.
Then its bath time…Gramma runs me a bath and loads me up with toys. I play for a while, and then tell Gramma I’m done. If she doesn’t come right away, I yell at the top of my lungs until she does. How can she not hear me? Then she washes my dirty little body, cleans my ears, cuts my nails and scoops me out of the tub.
After she puts all my toys back in the bin, she dries me off and rubs lotion all over me, before putting on my diaper (because I’m being stubborn about the whole pee-pee potty thing) and my pajamas. If it’s early enough, I get to watch TV before bed.
I usually try to give Gramma a hard time when she tells me its bedtime. But we say our prayers together and bless both of you and then I feel better and go to sleep. I wake up sometimes at night and call for Gramma. Then she runs down the hall – no matter what time it is or how tired she is - and lies on the bed with me. Sometimes I go right back to sleep…sometimes I do this 3 times and then Gramma lets me get in bed with her, where I go right to sleep. I love my Gramma.
Sometimes Gramma gets a babysitter – my precious Sophie. I love Sophie. Gramma has her or Mel (Sophie’s mommy) come over and watch me when she goes on a date. I don’t know what a “date” is, but she said she had lots more of them before I came to stay with her. I hope a date isn’t something Gramma really likes. I hardly ever see her “dates”…she says most dates aren’t “Marcus-worthy”, whatever that means. Speaking of men…why doesn't Papa live here anymore?
Sometimes I go over to another relative’s house for the weekend. I love them, but I’d rather stay with Gramma. When I see them pull up to get me on a Friday night, I start to cry and run the other way. But Gramma runs really fast to catch me and put me in the car. Why is she smiling so much when she does this? I’m crying and she’s grinning from ear to ear. I’m beginning to think that maybe she needs a break from me, but that just couldn’t be true…not my Gramma! When she comes to get me on Sunday, I get so happy and the world is right again. Back home with my Gramma.
Well…gotta run. I haven’t called Gramma’s name in over 10 minutes – she’ll think something is wrong with me. And I just put Gramma’s hairbrush in the fireplace…wonder how long it will take her to find it. Bet she doesn’t even know it’s gone yet.
Maybe I’ll try the waffle in the toilet thing tomorrow morning again, just to keep things interesting. I’ll write again soon. I love you and miss you so much. But I know you have to be away right now…thanks for leaving me with my Gramma – good choice!
Your son,
Marcus Xavier Gonzalez
(Boy Genius)

P.S. Uh, oh…I think she just noticed that her hairbrush was gone from the drawer…her hair is wet and she’s yelling “Marcus Xavier Gonzalez…have you been in my drawers again?”
Come to think of it…wonder why she moved that red rocket with the blinking lights…that thing she calls a vibrator...that was a fun toy, but I can’t find it anymore. Oh well, gotta go bat my baby brown eyes at her so she won’t be mad at me.

"The feeling of grandparents for their grandchildren can be expressed this way: “Our children are dear to us; but when we have grandchildren, they seem to be more dear than our children were.” You might say that the grandmother falls all over herself to try to show her appreciation for her grandchild. It goes right back to those wishes that were made for them when they were little girls: the wish that they would live to become grandmothers someday. So when the time comes and they reach grandmotherhood, they do extra little duties to show their appreciation."

~Henry Old Coyote

But Marcus…its 3 a.m.!!!

It’s a Wednesday and its 3:12 a.m. I am awakened by the sound of someone trying to get in my back door…I’m instantly VERY awake. What should I do…call 911? Suddenly a small voice pierces the quiet of the (very) early morning…"GRAMMA!!" I should have known…he’s