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MONSTER





P

rison was a never a walk in the park. You had to defend your territory, make sure you didn’t make more enemies than you really needed to have. Thus far, I managed to keep away from any significant groups and did my best to keep to myself. I had a few encounters where some inmates found out about my criminal background and decided to use that as an excuse to face me, let’s just say it didn’t end well for them. But, other than that I was a picture perfect convict. CO’s loved me and I felt right at home, it was easier for me to survive inside a prison than to survive in the outside world. Plus, I could be controlled while in there, controlled from hurting anyone else. My insatiable need of self-destruction came to a halt while behind bars, it was a great feeling.

A feeling that did not last as long as I thought it would. I was expecting to die there, be buried in whatever hole they had available. Yet, it did not happen that way. Fourteen years into my twenty-five year sentence I received news that I was being released for good conduct.

“You lucky bitch,” Cece, self-proclaimed friend of mine snickered as she said those words, “You reek of freedom already.”

I had no friends or at least that is what I always stated. However Cece was the only constant person in my life, oddly enough. Every time I’d gotten busted and had to do time, she was always there waiting for me, not willingly of course, her sentence was life without parole. While she sometimes dreamt of the outside world she and I were both the same in a certain sense, we were both monsters that needed to be locked up from the rest of the world.

“I wouldn’t consider myself lucky,” I replied nonchalantly.

She stared at me, eyes in wonder. “What are you afraid of? Is it Escobar?”

I shook my head. Escobar was part of it, but it was what I did when I was with him that scared me the most. I hated not being able to say no to him, not because of the fear he planted in me but more of the bond we both held.

“I have a feeling it was his doing...” I contemplated my words for a while before finishing, my mind lost in thought.

“What did he do?” Cece asked snapping me back in to reality.

“The reason I’m getting out early.” I sighed, thinking of the fact that I would once more roam the dreadful streets. *Two more days.*

Sleep and rest was a term I was not used to outside of these prison walls. I began to feel the uneasiness of the real world and I found my mind wandering back to the last time I’d been released from prison…

They had set me free on a technicality, *What a bunch of idiots*, I said to myself. These idiots never learn that people like me will never change. They had even seen my record, it was nowhere near just full of misdemeanors, it was far worse and I was sure I was not walking out that time. I guess the devil was on my side. The only thing I was regretting at that moment was losing my bag of crystals. I decided to go and look for my dealer and see if he would score me some more, after all that punk owed me big time.

That same day I decided to go to Escobar’s place. He burst out in laughter when he saw me. “What not even one day? Are these foo’s serious?”

I bummed a smoke from a cigarette box resting on a near dirty coffee table and ignored his comment. Whatever he said never truly bothered me. Scoffing I replied, “Pigs said jails were full.”

He laughed even harder. “And they decided to let you out, so we can commit crimes now and be let loose just ‘cause jails are full? Damn...”

I knew what he meant. I had done some horrible things in my life, some of which I was never caught for but most of them required a sentence of a few months, some years, but I usually got out every time. I began doing drugs since I was ten years old, stole property, threatened, beaten and even killed but only those who deserved it.

Killing had never been easy for me. The first time I ever killed I was fourteen. I hated my stepfather, more than I hated my life. He was a drinker and a smoker. You know how they say those addictions are slow killers? I decided to speed up the process. He was usually the careful type, never slept with a cigarette in his hand. I made sure it was different that day. He was knocked out from all the booze he had drank, making sure he would not wake up I punched him, shook him even but he didn’t budge. I had made up my mind to end his life and so I did. I took a cigarette from the drawer, lit it, took a few puffs and placed it in his hand. I took a half empty vodka bottle and bathed the bed with what was left of the liquor. I lit a cigarette for myself and stared at the match that continued to burn, it had such beautiful colors, colors that soon became bigger and more vibrant, the fire grew and it was intense as it submerged my stepfather. It was beautiful...

Escobar signaled one of his girls to bring a package over. He took a bag of my favorite drug - crystal meth. Oh, those sweet crystals, they were everything to me. “I’m glad the fuzz didn’t keep you, Reina. This is for you...” He threw me the bag and I was never more grateful. “I heard you delivered the car successfully, the boss was happy. So, in the lights of you being out... I have another job for you.”

Another job was not in my mind at that moment. All I wanted was to consume my crystals and be alone, but that was my life and there was no way Escobar would take no for an answer. I merely nodded my head and he gave me a toothy smile in return. “At a’ girl!” He scooted next to me and gave me a peck on my lips. Unintentionally I directed my gaze to the tear tattoos which adorned on his face. Each tear portrayed a person he had killed. He had two near his left eye and three on his right. That reminded me of not to mess around and that I no longer owned myself. My eyes darted to his lips as he began to speak again, “there’s a new car we have our eyes on. I need you to get it for me. We’ll have everything ready for you tomorrow. You got caught last time, don’t let it happen again.” While I acted like I took his threat seriously, I didn’t really care. I wanted to get caught and I was trying to get locked up. Crazy, some would think. But it beat being out there and for the past two years I was being careless, even then I was still out and about.

Now, here I was. Ready to leave my cage to back in to that hell hole some people call the world…


It was time for my release and it was a dreadful day. As expected a black SUV with dark tainted windows was there waiting to take me back to the corrupt life that owned me. Big Bear, a very tall and husky man stood outside the car, crossed armed. He definitely lived up to his name which is why he was Escobar’s trusty right-hand.

“Great to see you again, P-r-i-n-c-e-s-a,” he welcomed me with his heavy Latino accent.

“Yeah, wish I could say the same thing,” I scoffed at him with an unpleasant tone. I despised him with every fiber of my being, he had shown his interest in me from the first time he had laid his small onyx colored eyes on me and I on the other hand showed him how much I disliked him. Displeased with my lack of emotion towards him, he tried to force himself upon me; he had done this before with many girls before me. He had raped them and in many cases killed them with his brute force. He did not have even the smallest chance with me, because of Escobar. He let him know this with a warning that almost made him lose his right eye which he concealed with dark sun glasses, I was untouchable to him and it only fueled his desire.

“Come on, you should be happy to see me. You’re out of that shit-hole and all thanks to daddy, I made sure that he didn’t forget about you baby doll,” he cooed in my ear. I shoved past him and made my way to the backseat, while he burst out in laughter. “I love ‘em tight like you mami.” He was so annoying. I just wanted to wipe the smirk off his face. He looked at me from the rear-view mirror, the smirk plastered on his lips still. “Escobar has a nice surprise for you, I’m sure you will love it.”


I shook my head as I stared out the SUV window. I was a free woman, yet all I could think about was the crime which had landed me in jail this last time…

The day following my meeting with Escobar passed by quickly, the night-time was our favorite time to play and carry out our malicious deeds. As promised they had taken care of everything in order for me to take the car. I had a lot of practice with plenty of cars. Stealing that one in particular would prove to be a piece of cake. My hobbies included reading as many mechanically-inclined books as possible. I had always fancied that I would have done great at school if I had gone to one. The alarm was located in a complicated place, but I had learned very well how to disarm it.

Everything was going great until my hand began to shake. *Drugs*, I needed them like I needed water. I tried to maintain myself without taking anything when I was doing those types of jobs. In my pocket I could hear the crystals calling my name. I thought to myself, *Why the hell not?* What Escobar didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him or me for that matter. If he ever found out I was messing around he wouldn’t hesitate to torture me and then kill me as he had me watch him do so many times before with others who didn’t follow his orders.

I could feel the drugs running through my veins, stimulating all my senses. I started the car and felt the need to speed up. The streets were empty at those hours and the adrenaline was kicking in. *Faster! Faster!* My body and mind craved more speed and I indulged myself in it. The light turned yellow and I was a few feet away from the intersection but I was not about to stop, I wanted to beat the red light and I did...

All of a sudden there was a crash. I knew I had hit something. A sense of panic came over

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