Love Me by Sabrina Smith (motivational books to read TXT) 📕

Just…breathe…deeply.

Kennedy willed her mind to obey. Her hands are shaking slightly, the only visible sign of how anxious she is. The car is cruising along the highway, the desolate “flats” flying past the window. Her mom’s on the phone, jabbering away with one of her out-of-state sisters; in mind as well as home town. The tension in their conversation adds to Kennedy’s hysteria. She really shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Although the study group she’s headed for began an hour earlier, and she still has forty-five minutes of driving time to go, these aren’t the reasons for her nervousness. The cause of her shaking hands and jumpy mind is the presence of David at the café where her other friends are meeting.

Only a few days before, David was in Hawaii, not due back for another month; but this morning, he revealed that he returned early and therefore would be attending the study group, a big fat “SURPRISE!” attached securely to his statement. Of course, Kennedy wouldn’t have found this something to be nervous about before Saturday, but Saturday was five days before this day and two days before February 14th, and everyone knew that February 14th is trouble all around.

The car lurched, bringing Kennedy back to reality. Several minutes had swung by while she reminisced, and tall mountains flanked them on their left. Warm air streamed steadily from the air vents, a stark contradiction to the snow still holding the earth captive outside Kennedy’s window. The heat seeped through her, easing her tension for a little while, as she stares blankly out the window.

When they reached the city, Kennedy’s heart began a drumming like the sound of wild horses inside her chest. You shouldn’t be this nervous

, Kennedy thought vehemently, but a small part of her mind whispered back about the strange way David had a hold of her. She wouldn’t dare to say the words she wanted to even if he seemed to think that everything would turn out right, it couldn’t possibly work out.

Finally, they arrive in the small parking lot dedicated to the customers of the wifi café/deli on the corner of the busy street. Taking a deep breath, Kennedy gave her mom a hurried hug and a “thank you”, grabbed her backpack and laptop case, and tried her best to walk boldly into the café. She felt like she’d just walked out of a freezer into an oven, but maybe that was just her. To her left, right as she walked in the door, is the deli counter. Tables are set seemingly at random in the center of the room; small booths set at the edge, by the windows. Switching from bold to ninja mode, Kennedy began creeping towards the booth now hosting her friends; David, Gavin, Claire, and Audrey.

Before she could reach the table though, Claire turned her head and let out a shriek, naturally drawing the attention of the rest of the table towards Kennedy, including David. Giving up all pretenses, Kennedy walked boisterously towards their table, a window booth. Three laptops, a couple notebooks, pens, and the remnants of a meal litter the table. The booth has two benches in worn red pleather, and a chair set at the end. This Kennedy sat down in, laying her backpack by her chair and her laptop precariously on the table in front of her.

For a few painstaking moments, silence reigns over the table. Kennedy looks around at her friends; Claire, with her long silvery brown hair pulled into a ballerina bun and golden eyes shining with mischief, Audrey, the image of the girl next door with her medium length light brown hair, brown eyes and a spatter of freckles, Gavin with his brilliantly blue eyes and dirty blond hair, Kennedy couldn’t help but smile.

Lastly, she turned towards David, his midnight black hair sticking up in odd places and his skin golden brown from the Hawaiian sun. Suddenly lowering her gaze, Kennedy was struck with the intensity of his stare, his eyes a golden hazel full of a mystery she’s dying to uncover…and Claire dashes the moment to pieces with an exclamation, “I need a hug!” Startled out of her momentary fixation, Kennedy looks over at Claire who’s now leaning across the table, her arms outstretched in expectation.

“Oh,” Kennedy said, plastering a relatively genuine smile on her face, and hugs her. Audrey decides that she wants one to, so for a few moments hugs are passed around. Thank all things good that David didn’t ask for his hug

, Kennedy thought wryly. She probably wouldn’t have been able to let go.

Without thinking, her nervousness overwhelming, Kennedy flung the words, “You’re really tan

,” at David. A slight smirk overtakes his face, and he answers in his smooth voice, “Thank you.” Embarrassed, she looks around the table and says hurriedly, “So…what’re we doing?” Audrey, laughing somewhat obnoxiously, answered, “We’re supposed to be making an outline of the United Nations, but so far we haven’t gotten anything done.”

“Gavin and David were about to race each other to the end of the block and back when you arrived,” Claire adds, sending a carefully curtained exasperated glance towards Audrey. Kennedy had to stifle a smile for Claire’s sake. Audrey made it her business to flirt endlessly with Gavin, and Claire didn’t like it a wit. Gavin nods from his spot by the window, and nudges David in an attempt to make him move. While Kennedy keeps her eyes carefully down, they depart at a slow jog, and moments later fly past the window and down the side walk at a sprint.

Audrey’s phone began ringing the moment the guys were out of sight, bringing Kennedy back once more from her wandering thoughts. “Hello?” she answers in an annoying chipper voice, standing up to walk to a corner nearby where she could talk. Claire, taking advantage of the moment, whispers softly, “So, how you holding up?”

It would be just like her to read the tension between David and me, Kennedy thought. Out loud she said, with a smile that both she and Claire know to be fake, “Okay, considering.” She didn’t add considering his insane love letter supposedly sent from Hawaii…

but she wanted to, just to make herself feel better about rejecting him. Claire’s look is pitying, and it makes Kennedy feel like crying some more.

Popping up at Claire’s elbow, Audrey looks sad as she says, “I have to leave early for volleyball. My mom’ll be here in a couple minutes.” Kennedy forces herself to say, “Oh Audrey, I’m sorry! We didn’t even get to hang out that long!” She was glad she did later when Audrey gave her a wide grin and a hug, looking extremely happy. Claire gasps, making both Audrey and Kennedy turn towards the window. Gavin and David are tearing down the sidewalk, Gavin in the lead. For a few moments the girls sat watching as the stop light turned green, making crossing the street legally impossible.

Gavin stops at the light, and in a flash David flies past him, crosses the street at a gallop while dodging various cars, and sweeps into the café with a last puff of breath as Gavin, still at the stop light, looks on in dismay. When he finally returns, there was a heated argument concerning the legitimacy of David’s j-walking and whether or not it should count. In the end, Audrey had to leave, so it was decided that David won, since he finished first.

Kennedy’s mind wanders as Claire, David, and Gavin start talking about religion. She isn’t the best philosopher; all she knows is that she believes in her church, and that’s all she needs to know. She can’t argue logistics and hieroglyphics, so why bother? An hour goes by, and still Kennedy can’t bring herself to talk much. She opens her laptop, attempting to write a poem.

It was awkward and strange, seeing you there, it’s been awhile since we talked, I tried not to stare…

Finally, they’re alone. Gavin and Claire left a couple minutes ago, and Kennedy is searching desperately for something to say. They’re sitting on the couch set in the corner, secluded from the rest of the café; knees touching slightly, Kennedy’s eyes regard them with a wonder at the way his simple touch makes her body vibrate with electricity. She glances up to find David staring intently at her, making her flush. When he doesn’t say anything, Kennedy tilts her head to the side, considering him.

Without warning, he gently grabs her hand, pulling her closer to him. Their faces are no more than an inch apart, and Kennedy can feel David’s warm breath cascading across her face in delicious ripples, her own breath coming out in loud bursts. For a few soundless moments they look at each other, their eyes boring into each other’s souls, then smoothly leaning forward, David touches Kennedy’s lips with his own, working his jaw slowly across hers, lighting a flame in her stomach.

For a moment she kisses him back, the world, her problems, their problems, forgotten in this brief moment. His hand cups the side of her face as Kennedy pulls back, turning away, scared of the way he makes her feel. She whispers softly, “I can’t do this David…” He looks at her earnestly, hungrily. “Kennedy I’m sorry. I know you said it couldn’t work, but I know it can. We can make it work. Together.”

She desperately wants to believe it. Her mind races, trying in vain to honor the reasons she had so carefully thought out as a shield from his love. She turns to face David, his eyes beseeching, willing to protect her and to love her. Slowly, Kennedy nods her head, sending her doubts flying out the window with her common sense. Taking a leap isn’t as frightening when you have some to hold your hand and jump with you. As she leans in to kiss David once more, Kennedy’s mind races with an idea for a poem;

When you tell me to go out in the dark,
I’m trusting you,
When you say to hold your hand and jump,
I’m believing in you,
When you tell me everything’s gonna be okay,
You better be right,
When I’m upset and can’t seem to cope,
I want you to hold me tight,
When I’m happy and full of life and laughter,
I want you to laugh with me,
When I fall silent and look at your lips,
I want you to kiss me,
When you’re sad and need a hug,
I hope you tell me,
When life gets tough and you feel alone,
Please trust me,
When you want to be with someone,
I hope you come to me,
When you want to love someone,
Love me.