Letter To A Venus Flytrap by Elaina Beagley (ebook reader online txt) 📕

Elaina Beagley says:

Dear Venus Flytrap Steve,

I am sorry to inform you that your sloth is an insult to the entire city of Blendell, because of the noises and smells issuing from its behind. I am also very sorry to say that your sloth must be either moved, or put down. The sloth is a local nuisance, and it really must go. I understand that you don’t need telling twice, but I just thought I really should make it exceptionally clear.

Another annoyance is what your Flytrap is trapping. I have been notified that it was once an innocent girl, Kate’s head. I think you should be informed that this girl has suffered very severe injuries and is now in the Salivo hospital being treated as No. 1 patient. I hope you are now feeling sorry for everything your trap has trapped, and what it has actually digested. You should now be sorry for all the annoyances you have caused Blendell. I now advise you to get an appointment at Salivo and ask for the new type of surgery, a surgery that will sort of give you a makeover, and you will have proper control over your trap.

Yours faithfully,

Elaina Beagley

Venus Flytrap Steve says:

To Elaina Beagley,

I don’t agree with any of your points of view. I did not trap Kate’s head, and my sloth has not done anything wrong. He has never been as stupid enough to makes sounds and odours in public. I must say that I am happy with how I look and will not have a makeover. But I would (if it is possible) like to have control over what my trap is trapping. (not that it has ever trapped anything it isn’t supposed to)

Please reply soon

Venus Flytrap Steve

Elaina Beagley says:

Dear Venus Flytrap Steve,

I am sorry to say that I am quite offended  by what you have been saying. I must tell you that you and your sloth have been causing an enormous amount of trouble and it must stop. You and your sloth have to either leave Blendell, or you have to stop riding your sloth to work. Another annoyance I have forgotten to add in my last letter is, you are always hours late for work. Here I must say that your sloth is slow. Research shows that all sloths are slow and you really must consider a car. Or you could walk, or even more preferably, run. Whichever one you choose I don’t care, just promise you stop riding the sloth to work. I think that it may be possible for me to let you have control over what your trap is trapping, I will have to ask Salivo.

Yours faithfully,

Elaina Beagley

Venus Flytrap Steve says:

To Elaina Beagley

I do hope that Salivo can give me the ability to control my trap. It could make my life heaps easier. I really do protest on your ideas about my sloth. It really is true that he is slow, but I guess I might try a car but I will still take my sloth with me. I must say that my sloth will not be removed from Blendell.

Please reply soon,

Venus Flytrap Steve

Elaina Beagley says:

Dear Venus Flytrap Steve,

I am happy that you have agreed to try a car but I must inform you, you have to get a license before you start driving. It will be difficult for you to find someone who will be brave enough tutor you. So I have been kind enough to find you someone who is almost braver than Neil Armstrong. His name, is Lien Gnortsmara. He is an official gardener and was the first one to sign up for the job. Your driving test will commence in in one month. If you don’t show up, you will be either prosecuted, or just plain old banished from Blendell. I am going to talk to Salivo today about your trap. Now the only unsettled matter between us is your sloth. It really must not be in public. I have had a survey on who thinks the sloth should go, and everyone agreed. Your sloth is a political offense.

Yours faithfully,

Elaina Beagley

Venus Flytrap Steve says:

To Elaina Beagley,

I am really sorry to say that I just can’t do anything about my sloth. I don’t care what other people think about my sloth, there will be nothing done with him. But we could make a compromise. my suggestions are:

▷ You leave Blendell

I have only one suggestion but I am happy to hear yours if you have any, not that we are going to use yours. I am happy that I may soon have control over my trap.

PLease reply soon,

Venus Flytrap Steve

Elaina Beagley says:

Dear Venus Flytrap Steve,

Please note that your driving test commences tomorrow, and you must be there, or be banished from Blendell forever. Lien Gnortsmra is very excited, because it is his first time meeting a real Venus Flytrap. It would be a real disappointment if you do not turn up, Lien Gnortsmra doesn’t really have a chance in ever seeing a Venus Flytrap. I have a question to ask you; has your Flytrap ever caught a fly? And if it has, what do they taste like? I have no suggestions for a compromise, and it must be stated that yours is a complete insult. I am happy though to say that it might be possible for you to get control over your trap if maybe you come to Salivo.

Yours faithfully,

Elaina Beagley

Venus Flytrap Steve says:

To Elaina Beagley,

Yesterday I had my driving test, and I passed easily. When is my appointment at Salivo? I am quite excited, I have wanted this since I was a baby Trap because I accidentally trapped my favourite herb’s head. Our only unsettled matter. My sloth. If you cannot think of a compromise I think we might just have to go with mine. I know you probably don’t want to leave Blendell, but I am afraid it is our only option.

Please reply soon.

Venus Flytrap Steve

Elaina Beagley says: