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A Tormented Soul




The stars twinkled in the night sky. The moon was full and bright. Ivy walked into the middle of the wheat field, basking in the pale light. There was never a more perfect time for a full moon. She always thought that the moon could strip her of her sorrows and fill her with peace and tranquillity. But tonight that wasn't happening. Ivy dropped to her knees, wrapped her arms around herself, and cried. She cried long and hard, but silently, so as to to give away her hiding place to her sleeping family.
Suddenly, Ivy felt a familiar hand on her shoulder. It was warm and alleviating. Her anguish vanished at it's caressing touch. She quickly wiped away her tears and faced him. His eyes were the most briliant blue she'd ever seen. Like saphires on his tan skin, pale in the moonlight. His auburn hair fell in his eyes in a cute, boyish way. That was what Ivy had loved best about Tate.
Seeing him there made more tears spill over and down her face. He felt and looked so real. But it wasn't possible for him to be there. Him, along with his parents, had died in a car wreck that previous summer.
They'd been on their way back from a camping trip. They had offered to take Ivy with them and she'd accepted greatfuly.
Tate asked his father to turn the radio to his favorite station, and we all jammed out to the guitar solo playing at the moment.
Tate reached over and took Ivy's hand. She looked from the window to see him smiling like he'd only ever smiled at her. His eyes were glowing with happiness, which made Ivy's stomach dance.
"Here we go," Tate's dad said just as they were going down a steep hill. Ivy and Tate's mother squealed when their stomaches dropped with the dip.
They were about to go back up the other side of the hill when the car sputtered and died. Right in the middle of the intersection.
None of them had seen the huge eighteen wheeler coming towards them on Tate's side of the car. The driver of the monsterous vehicle hadn't even bothered to honk to warn them. Ivy looked over at Tate just before the truck hit them.
Horror filled her as she tried to scream a warning to the rest of them, but the air was ripped from her lungs. Befroe she knew it she was on te side of the road, covered with gashes and road burn so severe that she couldn't move. Ivy could only Squeeze her eyes closed and hope that this nightmare would end.
When she opened her eyes again she was in a hospitol, in an ICU room. Something was going off, that's what had waken her. She looked to find where the noise was coming from to see Tate's motionless body being rushed from the room.


Ivy clutched her stomach at the memmory, another tear rolled down her face. She felt Tate lift her chin with his fingers and wipe it away. She looked for the saphires in the dark, but she was alone once more. Alone to drown in her sarows.

***

Ivy's Life would forever be changed. But she never let anyone see it.
"You need grieving time," her mother had suggested.
"Let it be," her father had told her mother. "She doesn't need to be reminded."
Her older brother, Ian, had come into the room and taken her away then, saving Ivy from their remarks.
Ivy didn't realy care what everyone told her. She did things her way. Always had, always would.
That night she went to the wheat feild again, in hopes of seeing Tate. To her great disapointment he wasn't there. Still, she returned night after night, until she forgot why she was doing this.
"Ivy . . . ," someone whispered on one of her visits.
She whipped around to see who was calling her . . . but there was no one. Ivy pulled the voice through her muddled, and exhausted brain. It had sounded like Tate, but how could she know if she was just dreaming. With a heavy heart, Ivy returned home.


The next night Ivy went to the wheat feild, it was raining. She ripped through the feild. Tears fell down her face and merged with the rain. She'd had a dream-- or rather, a terrible nightmare-- and relived the tragic horror with Tate.
This time she didn't bother stopping in the wheat field. She'd gotten fully dressed, knowing she had to wander farther than the wheat feild. The agony was too stong for the tranquil wheat field.
Ivy dashed across the street and kept going for another mile. then she turned right and ran to the end of the road. By the time she was where she wanted to be, she was panting and gasping for air. Still, she ran. Or at least jogged.
She shoved the cemetary entrance's huge iron gate out of her way and ran to the top of the hill to Tate's grave. She knew that she shouldn't do this, if she was going to keep sane. But she was half asleep when she put the thought into an action. And by the time she was all the way awake, it was too late to turn back. Now, at his grave sight-- a place she refused to visit after the burrial ceremony-- she knew she past the piont of no return.
She must have read his name, the date of his birth, and the date of the crash a million times before her knees failed her and she creid over his grave.
Finaly, she was ready to release all of her built up emotion about Tate. She threw her head back, letting the rain wash her face, and screamed. She screamed and shrieked and yelled until her troat was raw. She took another breath, ready to scream again, but the only thing that came out was a strangled whine. More tears bled down her face and the rain washed them away.
Tate appeared above her then. Ivy looked up at his solemn face. It brought her dream to mind like a slap in the face.
"Why?" she whimpered at him. "Why did I have to live?"
He did nothing. Just stood there and stared at her.
"I should have died," she whispered in a barely audible voice. Then louder, another screech, "I should have died, not you!"
She wrapped her arms around her chest, as if she would break in half if she didn't, and let the rest of her sorrow wash her away.
When she looked up at Tate again he was smiling his 'Ivy smile' and holding out his hand. Ivy took it, feeling released from the invisible cage of dolor.

***

Ian had seen Ivy leave. He knew that she left every night. He stayed up worrying about her, but she always came back. Tonight he stayed up to watch for Ivy, but she didn't come back.
Ian got the keys to his truck and looked for her. He saw how upset she'd ben when she left, so he searched the first place he could think of.
When he arrived at the cemetary he heard Ivy's screams. He turned the truck off and waited for Ivy. When her screams ceased, he got anxious. He could bear it no longer. He hopped out of the cab and ran for Tate's grave.
When he arrived, he was taken aback. Ivy was on her side, hugging her abdomen, but her face was vacant. Her eyes were open and her mouth was turned up at the corners. She looked peacful.
Ian was overcome with anguish for the loss of his sister. He knew how she died, and he knew that she was home now.

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Publication Date: 03-09-2010

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