This Is Not My Life by Astrid Elizabeth Dare (ap literature book list .TXT) 📕

Chapter one Daniel


I was lying on something hard. And for a moment I wondered about that. Was I on the floor? My mind was foggy from sleep. I decided I should just go back to sleep.
I tried, but I was too uncomfortable. I shivered. I wanted to asses my situation and find out where I was. I was too tired to move though. So I just lay there, trying not to think too much.
I had almost drifted back into sleep when I felt someone shaking my shoulders.
“Wake up, young man, you must wake up!” I heard a man say through the fog in my brain.
I tried opening my eyes, but I couldn’t. I felt like I was being weighed down by a ton of bricks. I tested my body trying to move something. I found that I couldn’t. Was I paralyzed? What had happened to me? I tried not to panic. Think logically I told myself. What could be wrong with me? Had I been in an accident of some sort? Perhaps I had hit my head and was suffering temporary paralysis. Or maybe not so temporary. No. There had to be other possibilities. Perhaps I had been drugged. Yes that would explain the fog in my mind as well as why I could not move. If that was the case then I would be able to move soon since I was already conscious. I listened carefully wanting to know what was going on. The man who had been shaking me had given up. I heard his footsteps walking away. No! I thought come back! I heard a door opening and closing. Muffled voices reached me. I couldn’t make out what was being said.
I tried moving my arms. I couldn’t move them, but I could feel them now. I could feel the drug wearing off.
Or maybe that was just wistful thinking on my part. I tried to remember what I had done to end up here. Wherever “here” was. I couldn’t remember a thing. I searched my mind for information. I knew I was a lying on something. A wooden surface by the feel. I couldn’t locate any memories. I didn’t know where I was or where I had been. I knew the concept of a home, but I didn’t know where I lived. I also knew that selective memories like this were sure signs of amnesia. Yes I must be suffering from amnesia. I was distracted from my thoughts by raised voices.
“Ohmygod! Is he all right? Where is he? What happened to him? Is he hurt?” A frantic woman’s voice exclaimed. I listened for the response to this, but only heard a soothing voice trying to calm the lady down.
It was the same person who had tried to wake me. Were they talking about me? I didn’t recognize the voice of the woman who had been shouting.
A door opened and I heard the clacks of heels on wood as someone rushed to my side with a cry. “Nathan!”
“How did he get here? Is he alright?” the woman’s voice again.
“I don’t know. He was sleeping on the pew when I came in this morning. I called you right away. I thought you would be worried.” I felt someone’s hand brush my forehead. Checking my temperature?
“Has your son run from home before?” the man asked.
“No he was never the rebellious type. I don’t know what came over him.” answered the woman. My mother? I think I could move now.
I opened my eyes and blinked into the concerned face hovering over me.
“Nathan! Thank goodness! I was beginning to worry you had fallen into a coma or something!” She joked looking relived. I sat up slowly making sure that everything was in working order. I was sore all over, but fine for the most part.
I looked at the woman. Was this really my mother? I didn’t recognize her. She was a small lady with dirty blond hair and affectionate blue eyes that at the moment were full of concern for me, her son. She was dressed simply in a white t-shirt and jeans.
She had called me Nathan. That didn’t sound right to me though. What was my name then? I couldn’t remember. I had amnesia after all.
My mother watched me waiting for a response I realized. I gave her a hesitant smile trying to reassure her that I was fine. I think she saw the lack of recognition in my face though.
“Nathan? Are you all right?”
I didn’t know how to answer this. Was I all right? I was fine physically. But mentally I was not all right. I had no idea who I was.
I told her I was fine. Then as an afterthought.
“Where are we?”
“We are at the church right now. Pastor Mike found you asleep on a pew and called me to come get you” she answered studying my face carefully.
“Oh.” I could not think of anything better to say to that.
“I think your son could use a warm bath and some more sleep Ms. Simon. You should take him home.” The pastor interrupted helpfully. I looked in his direction. He was a very tall man with a head full of gray hair. I guessed he was in his early sixties.
“Yes of course! Thank you, pasture, for your help” my mom said to the man.
“It was no trouble Ms. Simon. I’m glad you found your son. And I hope you will consider coming to service next Sunday.”
“We’ll be sure to make it this time.” My mom assured him.
“Excellent. I will see you both on Sunday.” He beamed at her.
I got up and followed my mom out of the church. She led me to a green minivan pulling out a set of car keys. I looked around the parking lot. There were only two other cars in the lot. “Are you coming Nathan?” Ms. Simon asked me. I got in the car. I studied the land we passed not recognizing anything. We were in the suburbs. I didn’t know the name of the town we were in though. I looked at signs we passed, but none of them had the name of the town written on them.
And why would they? Everyone knows what town they are in. Everyone except me that is.
My mom was quiet. She kept glancing at me every few seconds as if to assure herself that I was still there. I wondered if I should tell her about my amnesia. I don’t know why I hesitated in telling her. I didn’t believe she was my mother. I knew she thought she was. But I also knew she wasn’t. It was just had a feeling. I knew it was ridiculous, but that was how I felt. I decided to keep that piece of information to myself though.
“Where are we?” I asked her. She looked at me in confusion.
“What do you mean ‘where are we?' we’re going home.”
“I mean what is the name of the town we are in.” I explained.
“Nathan are you sure you are feeling all right?”
“I think I have amnesia.” I told her.
“Amnesia?”
“When you lose your memory.”
“I know what amnesia is Nathan.” She sounded angry for some reason.
“Why are you angry?” I was at a loss as to the cause of her anger.
“Are you telling me you don’t recognize me?” she said, ignoring my question.
“Yes.” I said.
“This is not something to joke about Nathaniel.” She responded icily.
“Why would I lie?” I was starting to get annoyed with the woman.
“To get yourself out of trouble!” She exclaimed.
“What am I in trouble for?” I was really confused now.
She stopped the car. I looked around. Then I saw we were at a red light. I looked back at Ms. Simon to find her staring at me.
“You really don’t remember anything?”
“No.” I said. “What is it that I did?”
She sighed. The light turned green and she moved the car again. She kept her eyes on the road avoiding my eyes.
“You ran away.” She sounded sad as she said this. It made me feel guilty. She looked at me with tears in her eyes. “You were gone for weeks, Nathan, I was so worried I-“her voice cracked.
“I’m sorry.” I said I didn’t want her to be sad. She sniffed. “Well the important thing is that you are back and you’re safe. That’s all that matters”
I felt very awkward about this whole situation. I wasn’t used to this kind of emotion. I didn’t belong here. I looked out the window to avoid her caring gaze. We were driving through a neighborhood now. I watched the houses go by.
Trying to find one that looked even remotely familiar to me. But they were just houses. The car drove up the driveway of a light blue two story house. I wasn’t surprised to see that I didn’t recognize it either.
We got out of the car and Ms. Simon let us in the house silently. Directly in front of the door was a living room with two open walls connecting it with a dining room and a small kitchen to our right. On our left there was a set of stairs. I presumed they led to bedrooms. I walked up the stairs with Ms. Simon trailing behind me. There were four doors in the hallway on top of the stairs.
I turned to the woman. “Which one do I sleep in?” I asked her.
She looked at me in dismay. “You really don’t remember anything?”
“No, I already told you I have amnesia.” How many times did I have to tell her?
She pointed to a room. “You just need rest that’s all. It will probably come back to you when you wake up.” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself as well as me. “And if it doesn’t?” I challenged.
“Then I will take you to see Dr. Mall first thing tomorrow morning.” She answered. “Okay” I said. I walked into the room she had indicated.
The room had plain white walls with nothing on them but a bulletin board covered in ribbons and metals as well as a shelf with awards on it.
I passed a plain bed with a forest green bedspread to read the metals and ribbons.
Perfect attendance, student of the month, commended performance in reading, in science, in social studies. There was only one for math. Apparently I was a very studious kid. Then I spotted the desk. It had a laptop on it along with a lot of equipment and gaming devices. I had no idea what most of it was. I understood the concept of computers and the internet, but as far as I knew I had never used a computer before in my life. I shook my head and looked at the digital clock on the nightstand.

2:18

What would Nathan normally