Borrowed time by Serena Wang (thelasthope) (beach books .txt) 📕

She draws beautiful pictures, but her pen is a knife and her paper is her skin. Her tears fall with no one to wipe. She feels alone. Summer POV
My name is Summer, and I have one more year to live. Did you know that there are so many ways to die? One way is cancer: What is cancer? Cancer: A malignant and invasive growth or tumor caused by abnormal cell masses, tending to recur after excision and to metastasize to other sites. 1.2 million Americans are diagnosed with it every year. Annually, 500,000 people in the United States... they die from it. And 13% of people that die every year, die from cancer. Cancer has a track record that goes on longer than possibly imaginable, but it's still here today and there's still no definite cure. So when someone falls into its clutches, not much good comes out of it. It ruins lives. It puts out love like rain puts out a fire. And it doesn't stop to realize the damage it’s doing. I am one of the 1.2 million. I have one more year to live, and then I will die. I’m not scared, but I don’t like how people are always pitying me. I don’t like telling people about my sickness because they think that I am weak. When I was younger my best friend, Lauren, betrayed me. She was the only one who knew I had cancer, but then one day she told everyone, and people started acting strange around me. They always talked bad about me. One day Lauren, my best friend, said something to me in front of everyone. She said “You like being pitied don’t you? That’s why you told everyone that you have cancer right? Just to make yourself feel better right? Well I’m sick of being your friend and always having to have to help you. I hate how you get all the attention. I’m human too!”
I didn’t say anything to her. She was my best friend and I cherished her a lot. I didn’t know that having cancer didn’t just affect me, but also all the people around me. Everyone was staring at us. I still remember that day as clearly as yesterday. That was the first day I cut myself. I drew an heart on my wrist. I remember the pain, but at the same time I didn’t feel it. I was numb from the throbbing pain in my heart. I thought if I cut myself then maybe everything would be better. I was wrong. I remember how whenever I cut myself I just hated myself even more than before. No one ever looked at me again. They turned away. I felt horrible. My own parents didn’t have time for me. They were always on the phone talking about my condition or chatting with other people. I felt alone all the time. Where could I turn for someone to see me? This was my last year of high school, and I should’ve enjoyed it. I was invisible though.

Right now is night time, and my parents are not home. Again I am alone. It is so dark and I was feeling horrible. I did the only thing I could think of. I cut myself. I took my pocket knife from under my bed, and this time I carved a random design onto my wrist. I watched as the blood seeped out. Tomorrow school will begin again. I don’t want to go. There will be no one to talk to, and no one to hang out with. I wish Lauren had never told anyone. She even blamed me for telling everyone, but I wasn’t the one who told. She was. Saying that I was the one who told everyone, that I had cancer. I never told my parents about that fight. They don’t know I have no friends, but that’s okay cause I’ve already given them a lot of trouble. There is no need to cause any more trouble for them. When will I find a way to speak my heart out? When will I find someone who is like me? Who knows what’s it’s like to be alone?

I hurry to grab a bandage from my closet and wrap up my wrist. I’ve been thinking. I went through a lot trying to get better from cancer, but I still didn’t get better. In the end I’m going to die!

I remember all the vomiting and nausea when I started chemo. My hair fell out and I wore a wig to school for a long period of time. I did everything for nothing. It’s not like I wanted cancer. I didn’t get cancer for the attention. I’d rather be a nobody without cancer than a somebody with cancer.

I look outside my window, and decide to go out on a midnight stroll on the beach. As I walk outside a cool breeze blows against my face. My hair is waving wildly behind me. I shouldn’t be out, but I don’t see anyone stopping me, so I go on. I get to the beach in a few minutes, and it is beautiful. The moon is reflecting on the water. It is surprisingly calming here. I watch the black water lapping at the shores, as if taking a bit of my soul with it each time the water washes away. In the distance I hear an owl hooting. It feels a bit haunting. I feel lost, but also whole at the same time. I wish I could go back in time. When I had no cancer, and I could call my life perfect.

Lauren

I still remember three years ago when I was fourteen, I had a friend. Her name was Summer. She was outgoing and was friendly to everyone, but then she was diagnosed with cancer. The day she told me I was crushed, why did my best friend get cancer? She was such a amazing person. She was my best friend, but I couldn’t help but feel jealous. Everyone was so nice to her while they bossed me around. They told me to do everything for her. Summer didn’t tell anyone about her cancer at school, so I decided to tell for her. Then I had that fight with her. It was horrible. I blamed her for telling but actually I was the one who told everyone. She moved away that summer. I cried for what seemed an eternity I couldn’t believe that I had been so cruel to her. It’s not like she wanted cancer. Well today is the first day of my third year in high school, and do you know who I saw walk through the doors this morning? It was Summer. I am not mistaken. I know her face too well. I ruined her life, is she back for revenge? She’s in school now. She must be better!

Summer
My first class was English and when I entered the classroom the teacher, Ms. Blake, immediately introduced me to the class.

“Summer, honey, you can sit in the back next to Lauren.” She said to me.
I lifted my eyes to the girl the teacher was pointing at, and my blood ran cold. It was Lauren, my former best friend. I shifted uncomfortably, but I slowly made my way to the seat next to her. I knew by the look on her face she recognized me even after three years. We didn’t talk during class at all.

**LUNCH**

OK so I hadn’t made any new friends yet, because apparently Lauren is the IT girl here. If she doesn’t talk to me, neither will anyone else. Well I don’t plan on being close to anyone because I am dying. I waited in line as more students piled into the cafeteria. When it was my turn at the cash register the lady looked at me and said “New, right?”

I nodded at her and she rang up my food. I looked around holding my tray. I decided to sit in the corner. I quickly gobbled my food down before going outside, and escaping everyone else. I still had half an hour before my next class started. Outside it was breezy but calm. I went to the football field to watch the games the boys were playing. I knew that they would go to the football field during lunch. There are always a few boys playing there. It’s fun to watch them. I sat in the corner not meant to be seen, but a ball came flying at me and I was hit. A cute looking boy ran over to me apologizing. I told him it was fine, but from the look on his face he still felt guilty. I didn’t walk away though, and I’m not one to keep grudges.

I texted my mom telling her that I decided to stay after school today. As I thought, she didn’t even bother to reply. I shook my head, and a loud, curious voice startled me. “Why are you shaking your head?” The voice asked. I looked up and saw the cute boy from before. This time he wasn’t alone. I felt my cheeks blush. He laughed at the sight of me blushing, but that just made me flush all the more. “It’s nothing” I say. All the boys except one give a low chuckle. The one boy didn’t even crack a smile. He looked at me with this look that told me he knew something was wrong. I tried to look away but his green eyes drew me towards him. “Oh I’m Brandon by the way. That’s Jared, Tyler, Drake, and Drew” He said while pointing at each boy. Drew was the one who didn’t laugh. He had dirty blond hair. He caught me gazing at him and stared right back at me. I suddenly felt self-conscious. The bell rang breaking the silence. The boys waved their goodbyes and ran off to class. All except Drew. “Your name is Summer right?” He asked.

“Yes.” I said quite surprised that he knew my name.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I said.
“You’re lying.”

I didn’t answer him. He looked at me quizzically. I turned away because his hard stares made me feel uneasy.

“You don’t have to tell me if you’re lying. I’m just stating a fact.” He suddenly spoke.

I nodded my head and waved my hand, while getting up and running to class. Shoot cancer made me get tired so easily. I barely ran for a minute and I’m already super tired. I got to class right before the second bell rang. The first bell was a warning bell (thank goodness).
Lauren
Summer got to class just in time. Who was she with? How could