Acceptance by Keaton Robin (best thriller novels of all time TXT) 📕

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear for I wear a mask, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me.Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't be fooled.I give you the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name and coolness my game, that the water's calm and I'm in command and that I need no one, but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask, ever-concealing. Beneath lies is no complacence. Beneath lies is confusion, and fear. But I can hide this. I don't want anybody to know it. I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed. That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope, and I know it. That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from the barriers . It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I'm really worth something. But I don't tell you this. I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance, will not be followed by love. I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me. I'm nothing and that you will see this and reject me. So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, with a facade of assurance without and a trembling child within. So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks, and my life becomes a front. I tell you everything that's really nothing, and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me. So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying, what I'd like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but what I can't say.

Publication Date: 02-02-2010

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