My Mother's Rival by Charlotte Mary Brame (highly illogical behavior .TXT) π
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- Author: Charlotte Mary Brame
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father had always been kind to me--he had never used a harsh word to me. My heart was full--it was almost bursting--when I went to him. The shame, the degradation, the horror, were full upon me. Surely he would hear reason. I dared not stop to think. I hastened to him. I flung my arms round his neck and hid my face upon his breast. My passionate sobs frightened him at first.
"My dearest Laura, what is the matter?" he asked.
"Papa, send Miss Reinhart away," I cried; "do send her away. We were so happy before she came, and mamma was happy. Can you not see there is a black shadow hanging over the house? Send it away--be as you were before she came. Oh, papa, she has taken you from us."
When I told him what I had heard he looked shocked and horrified.
"My poor child! I had no idea of this."
He laid me on the couch while he walked up and down the room.
"Horrible!" I heard him say. "Frightful! Poor child! Alice shall go at once!"
He rang the bell when he had compelled me to repeat every word I had overheard, and sent for the housekeeper. I heard the whispering, but not the words--there was a long, angry conversation. I heard Sir Roland say "that Alice and every one else who had shared in those kind of conversations should leave." Then he kissed me.
"Papa," I cried to him, "will you send Miss Reinhart away? No other change is of any use."
"My dear Laura, you are prejudiced. You must not listen to those stupid servants and their vile exaggerations. Miss Reinhart is very good and very useful to me. I cannot send her away as I would dismiss a servant--nor do I intend."
"Let her go, that we may be happy as we were before. Oh, papa! she does not love mamma. She is not good; every one dislikes her. No one will speak to her. What shall we do? Send her away!"
"This is all a mistake, Laura," he said; "a cruel--I might say wicked--mistake. You must not talk to me in this way again."
Perhaps more might have been said; it might even have been that the tragedy had been averted but for the sudden rap at the door and the announcement that the rector wished to see Sir Roland.
"Ask him to step in here," said my father, with a great mark of discomposure. "Laura, run away, child, and remember what I have said. Do not speak to me in this fashion again."
I learned afterward that the rector had called to remonstrate with him--to tell him what a scandal and shame was spreading all over the country side, and to beg of him to end it.
Many hours elapsed before I saw my father again. I saw him ride out of the courtyard and did not see him return. When I had gone to his room in the morning I had taken with me one of my books, and I wanted it for my studies in the morning.
It was neither light nor dark. I went quietly along the broad corridors to my father's study. I never gave one thought to the fact that my father might be there. I had not seen him return. I went in. The study was a very long room with deep windows. Quite at the other end, with the firelight shining on his face, stood my father, and by his side Miss Reinhart, just as I had seen him stand with my beautiful mother a hundred times; one arm was thrown round her, and he was looking earnestly in her face.
"It must be so," he said; "there is no alternative now."
She clung to him, whispering, and he kissed her.
I stole away. Oh! my injured, innocent mother. I do not remember exactly what I did. I rushed from the house out into the great fir wood and wept out my hot, rebellious anger and despair there. At breakfast time the next morning just a gleam of hope came to me. Miss Reinhart said that, above everything else, she should like a drive.
Whether it was my pleading and tears or the rector's visit which had made my father think, I cannot tell, but for the first time he seemed quite unwilling to drive her out. The tears came into her eyes and he went over to her and whispered something which made her smile. He talked to her in a mysterious kind of fashion that I could neither understand nor make out at all--of some time in the future.
An uneasy sense of something about to happen came over me. I could feel the approach of some dark shadow; all day the same sensation rested with me, yet I saw nothing to justify it. At night my mother called me to her side.
"Laura, you do not look so cheerful this evening. What makes my daughter so sad?"
I could not tell her of that scene I had witnessed; I could not tell her of what was wrong.
On the morning following this, to me, horrible day, I could not help seeing that there was quite a new understanding between my father and Miss Reinhart. I overheard him say to her:
"It would have been quite impossible to have gone on; the whole country would have been in an uproar."
All that day there seemed to me something mysterious going on in the house; the servants went about with puzzled faces; there were whisperings and consultations. I heard Patience say to Emma:
"It is not true. I would not believe it. It is some foolish exaggeration of the servants. I am sure it is not true."
"Even if it should be I do not know what we could do," said Emma. "We cannot prevent it. If he has a mind to do such a bad action, he will do it, if not at one time, surely at another."
What was it? I never asked questions now.
One thing I remember. When I went into his room that evening to say good-night, my father's traveling flask lay there--a pretty silver flask that my mother had given him for a birthday present. He bade me "good-night," and I little thought when or how we should meet again.
CHAPTER XII.
I do not judge or condemn him. I do not even say what I should say if he were any other than my father. His sin was unpardonable; perhaps his temptation was great; I cannot tell. The Great Judge knows best. I will tell my miserable story just as it happened.
The day following--another bright, sunny, warm morning, all sunshine, song and perfume, the birds singing so sweetly and the fair earth laughing. It was so bright and beautiful that when I went out into the grounds my troubles seemed to fade away. I hastened to gather some flowers for my mother; the mignonette was in bloom, and that was her favorite flower. I took them to her, and we talked for a few minutes about the beauty of the day. She seemed somewhat better, and asked me to get through my studies quickly, so that we might go through the grounds. I hastened to the school-room. Miss Reinhart was not there. I took my books and sat down by the window waiting for her. As I sat there, one after another the servants looked in the room, as though in search of something, then vanished. At last I grew tired of waiting, and rang to ask if Miss Reinhart was coming to give me my lessons. Emma came in reply.
Miss Reinhart would not be there yet, she said, and it would be better for me to go out now with my lady and to attend to my books afterward.
It struck me that every one seemed in a hurry to get us out of the house. Patience King was not to be seen, and Emma did not like to come near us because of her tear-stained face. Just as we were leaving the house my mother turned to the footman, who was at the back of her chair:
"John," she said, "go and ask Sir Roland if he will come with us."
I saw the man's face flush crimson, but he went away and returned in a few minutes, saying that his master was not in.
My mother repeated the words in some wonder.
"Have you seen papa this morning, Laura?"
"No; Emma brought my breakfast to me."
"I have not seen him either," she said. "He has not been to say good-morning to me yet. John, leave word that when Sir Roland comes in we shall be on the grass plot near the sun-dial!"
Why did they all look at us with such scared faces, with such wondering eyes? And I felt sure that I heard one say to the other:
"I have sent for the rector."
We went--as unconscious of the doom that hung over us as two children--went my mother's rounds. She looked at all the flowers, but turned to me once or twice and said, uneasily:
"I wonder where Sir Roland is? It seems strange not to have seen him."
We talked about him. There was nothing she liked more than speaking of him to me. We were out, I should think, at least three hours, and then my mother felt faint, and we went back.
The good rector met us and shook hands very kindly with us, but he was pale and agitated, not like himself in the least. Patience was there, and Emma; the other servants were huddled in groups, and I knew something very terrible had happened--something--but what?
The rector said Lady Tayne was tired, and must have some wine. My mother took it, and was placed upon her couch once more. She turned to the footman and asked if my father had returned. The answer was--no. Then the rector said he wished to speak to her alone. He held a letter in his hands, and his face was as pale as death. She looked up at him and said, quickly:
"Is it bad news?"
"Yes," he answered, gravely; "it is very bad news. Laura, go away and leave your mother with me."
But my mother clung to me.
"No, if I have anything to suffer," she cried, "let Laura stay with me--I can bear anything with her."
"Let me stay?" I asked.
He covered his face with his hands, and was silent for some minutes. I wonder if he was praying Heaven to give him strength--he had to give my mother her death blow. I can never remember how he told her--in what language or fashion--but we gathered the sense of it at last; my father had left home, and had taken Miss Reinhart with him!
The blow had fallen--the worst had come. Oh, Heaven! if, sleeping or waking, I could ever forget my mother's face--if I could close my eyes without seeing its white, stony horror! The very tone of her voice was changed.
"Doctor Dalkeith!" she asked, "is this horrible thing true--true?"
"Unhappily, Lady Tayne," he replied.
"You say that my husband, Sir Roland has left me, and has gone away--with--this person?"
"I am afraid it is but too true," he replied.
"Has he ceased to love me, that he has done this?"
"My dear Lady Tayne, I know nothing but the facts--nothing else. Your servants sent for me to break it to you, for they could not
"My dearest Laura, what is the matter?" he asked.
"Papa, send Miss Reinhart away," I cried; "do send her away. We were so happy before she came, and mamma was happy. Can you not see there is a black shadow hanging over the house? Send it away--be as you were before she came. Oh, papa, she has taken you from us."
When I told him what I had heard he looked shocked and horrified.
"My poor child! I had no idea of this."
He laid me on the couch while he walked up and down the room.
"Horrible!" I heard him say. "Frightful! Poor child! Alice shall go at once!"
He rang the bell when he had compelled me to repeat every word I had overheard, and sent for the housekeeper. I heard the whispering, but not the words--there was a long, angry conversation. I heard Sir Roland say "that Alice and every one else who had shared in those kind of conversations should leave." Then he kissed me.
"Papa," I cried to him, "will you send Miss Reinhart away? No other change is of any use."
"My dear Laura, you are prejudiced. You must not listen to those stupid servants and their vile exaggerations. Miss Reinhart is very good and very useful to me. I cannot send her away as I would dismiss a servant--nor do I intend."
"Let her go, that we may be happy as we were before. Oh, papa! she does not love mamma. She is not good; every one dislikes her. No one will speak to her. What shall we do? Send her away!"
"This is all a mistake, Laura," he said; "a cruel--I might say wicked--mistake. You must not talk to me in this way again."
Perhaps more might have been said; it might even have been that the tragedy had been averted but for the sudden rap at the door and the announcement that the rector wished to see Sir Roland.
"Ask him to step in here," said my father, with a great mark of discomposure. "Laura, run away, child, and remember what I have said. Do not speak to me in this fashion again."
I learned afterward that the rector had called to remonstrate with him--to tell him what a scandal and shame was spreading all over the country side, and to beg of him to end it.
Many hours elapsed before I saw my father again. I saw him ride out of the courtyard and did not see him return. When I had gone to his room in the morning I had taken with me one of my books, and I wanted it for my studies in the morning.
It was neither light nor dark. I went quietly along the broad corridors to my father's study. I never gave one thought to the fact that my father might be there. I had not seen him return. I went in. The study was a very long room with deep windows. Quite at the other end, with the firelight shining on his face, stood my father, and by his side Miss Reinhart, just as I had seen him stand with my beautiful mother a hundred times; one arm was thrown round her, and he was looking earnestly in her face.
"It must be so," he said; "there is no alternative now."
She clung to him, whispering, and he kissed her.
I stole away. Oh! my injured, innocent mother. I do not remember exactly what I did. I rushed from the house out into the great fir wood and wept out my hot, rebellious anger and despair there. At breakfast time the next morning just a gleam of hope came to me. Miss Reinhart said that, above everything else, she should like a drive.
Whether it was my pleading and tears or the rector's visit which had made my father think, I cannot tell, but for the first time he seemed quite unwilling to drive her out. The tears came into her eyes and he went over to her and whispered something which made her smile. He talked to her in a mysterious kind of fashion that I could neither understand nor make out at all--of some time in the future.
An uneasy sense of something about to happen came over me. I could feel the approach of some dark shadow; all day the same sensation rested with me, yet I saw nothing to justify it. At night my mother called me to her side.
"Laura, you do not look so cheerful this evening. What makes my daughter so sad?"
I could not tell her of that scene I had witnessed; I could not tell her of what was wrong.
On the morning following this, to me, horrible day, I could not help seeing that there was quite a new understanding between my father and Miss Reinhart. I overheard him say to her:
"It would have been quite impossible to have gone on; the whole country would have been in an uproar."
All that day there seemed to me something mysterious going on in the house; the servants went about with puzzled faces; there were whisperings and consultations. I heard Patience say to Emma:
"It is not true. I would not believe it. It is some foolish exaggeration of the servants. I am sure it is not true."
"Even if it should be I do not know what we could do," said Emma. "We cannot prevent it. If he has a mind to do such a bad action, he will do it, if not at one time, surely at another."
What was it? I never asked questions now.
One thing I remember. When I went into his room that evening to say good-night, my father's traveling flask lay there--a pretty silver flask that my mother had given him for a birthday present. He bade me "good-night," and I little thought when or how we should meet again.
CHAPTER XII.
I do not judge or condemn him. I do not even say what I should say if he were any other than my father. His sin was unpardonable; perhaps his temptation was great; I cannot tell. The Great Judge knows best. I will tell my miserable story just as it happened.
The day following--another bright, sunny, warm morning, all sunshine, song and perfume, the birds singing so sweetly and the fair earth laughing. It was so bright and beautiful that when I went out into the grounds my troubles seemed to fade away. I hastened to gather some flowers for my mother; the mignonette was in bloom, and that was her favorite flower. I took them to her, and we talked for a few minutes about the beauty of the day. She seemed somewhat better, and asked me to get through my studies quickly, so that we might go through the grounds. I hastened to the school-room. Miss Reinhart was not there. I took my books and sat down by the window waiting for her. As I sat there, one after another the servants looked in the room, as though in search of something, then vanished. At last I grew tired of waiting, and rang to ask if Miss Reinhart was coming to give me my lessons. Emma came in reply.
Miss Reinhart would not be there yet, she said, and it would be better for me to go out now with my lady and to attend to my books afterward.
It struck me that every one seemed in a hurry to get us out of the house. Patience King was not to be seen, and Emma did not like to come near us because of her tear-stained face. Just as we were leaving the house my mother turned to the footman, who was at the back of her chair:
"John," she said, "go and ask Sir Roland if he will come with us."
I saw the man's face flush crimson, but he went away and returned in a few minutes, saying that his master was not in.
My mother repeated the words in some wonder.
"Have you seen papa this morning, Laura?"
"No; Emma brought my breakfast to me."
"I have not seen him either," she said. "He has not been to say good-morning to me yet. John, leave word that when Sir Roland comes in we shall be on the grass plot near the sun-dial!"
Why did they all look at us with such scared faces, with such wondering eyes? And I felt sure that I heard one say to the other:
"I have sent for the rector."
We went--as unconscious of the doom that hung over us as two children--went my mother's rounds. She looked at all the flowers, but turned to me once or twice and said, uneasily:
"I wonder where Sir Roland is? It seems strange not to have seen him."
We talked about him. There was nothing she liked more than speaking of him to me. We were out, I should think, at least three hours, and then my mother felt faint, and we went back.
The good rector met us and shook hands very kindly with us, but he was pale and agitated, not like himself in the least. Patience was there, and Emma; the other servants were huddled in groups, and I knew something very terrible had happened--something--but what?
The rector said Lady Tayne was tired, and must have some wine. My mother took it, and was placed upon her couch once more. She turned to the footman and asked if my father had returned. The answer was--no. Then the rector said he wished to speak to her alone. He held a letter in his hands, and his face was as pale as death. She looked up at him and said, quickly:
"Is it bad news?"
"Yes," he answered, gravely; "it is very bad news. Laura, go away and leave your mother with me."
But my mother clung to me.
"No, if I have anything to suffer," she cried, "let Laura stay with me--I can bear anything with her."
"Let me stay?" I asked.
He covered his face with his hands, and was silent for some minutes. I wonder if he was praying Heaven to give him strength--he had to give my mother her death blow. I can never remember how he told her--in what language or fashion--but we gathered the sense of it at last; my father had left home, and had taken Miss Reinhart with him!
The blow had fallen--the worst had come. Oh, Heaven! if, sleeping or waking, I could ever forget my mother's face--if I could close my eyes without seeing its white, stony horror! The very tone of her voice was changed.
"Doctor Dalkeith!" she asked, "is this horrible thing true--true?"
"Unhappily, Lady Tayne," he replied.
"You say that my husband, Sir Roland has left me, and has gone away--with--this person?"
"I am afraid it is but too true," he replied.
"Has he ceased to love me, that he has done this?"
"My dear Lady Tayne, I know nothing but the facts--nothing else. Your servants sent for me to break it to you, for they could not
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