Master Flea by E. T. A. Hoffmann (i read a book txt) 📕

And again the old woman began to speak of the grace and loveliness of the lady with an animation that sounded strange enough in the mouth of a withered creature like herself, till Peregrine jumped up all fire and fury, and cried out like a madman, "Be it as it will--down, down to the key-hole!" In vain he was warned by Master Flea, who sate in the neckcloth of the enamoured Peregrine, and had hid himself in a fold. Peregrine did not hear his voice, and Master Flea learnt, what he ought to have known long before, namely, that something may be done with the most obstinate man, but not with a lover.

The lady did, indeed, lie on the sofa, just as the old woman had described, and Peregrine found that no mortal language was adequate to the expression of the heavenly charms which overspread the lovely figure. Her dress, of real silver tissue, with strange embroidery, was quite fantastic, and might do very well for the negligee of the princess, Gamaheh, which she had perhaps worn in Famagusta, at the very moment of her being kissed to death by the malicious Leech-Prince. At all events it was so beautiful, and so exceedingly strange, that the idea of it could never have come from the head of the most genial theatrical tailor, nor have been conceived by the sublimest milliner.

"Yes, it is she! it is the Princess Gamaheh!" murmured Peregrine, trembling with anxiety and pleasure. But when the fair one sighed, "Peregrine! my Peregrine!" the full madness of the passion seized him, and it was only an unnameable anxiety, robbing him of all self-possession, that prevented him from breaking in the door, and throwing himself at the feet of the angel.

The friendly reader knows already how it was with the fascinations, the celestial beauty, of the little Dörtje Elverdink. The editor, however, may safely declare, that, after he too had peeped through the key-hole, and seen the fair one in her fantastic dress of tissue, he can say nothing more than that Dörtje Elverdink was a very pretty little puppet. But as no young man can possibly be in love, for the first time, with any but an angel, without her equal on earth, it may be allowed also to Mr. Peregrine Tyss to look upon Dörtje Elverdink as something celestial.

"Recollect yourself, my dear Mr. Tyss; think of your promise. You would never see the seductive Gamaheh again, and now I could put the microscopic glass into your eye, but without such help you must perceive that the malicious creature has long observed you, and that all she is doing is only deceit, to seduce you. Believe me, I mean it well with you." So whispered Master Flea in the fold of his collar; but, whatever doubts might arise in Mr. Peregrine's mind, he could not tear himself away from the fascinating sight of the little one, who knew well how to use the advantage of being supposed to fancy herself alone; flinging herself into all manner of voluptuous attitudes, she put the poor Peregrine quite beside himself.

He would most likely have been still fixed at the door, had it not been for a loud ringing, and Alina's crying out that Swammer had returned. Upon this he hurried up the stairs into his chamber, where he gave himself up to his love-thoughts, but with these thoughts returned the doubts which had been raised in his breast by the admonitions of Master Flea. There was, indeed, a flea in his ear, and he fell into all manner of disquieting meditations. He thought to himself, "Must I not believe that this lovely creature is the Princess Gamaheh, the daughter of a mighty king? But if this be the case, it is folly, madness, to aspire to the possession of so exalted a personage. Then too she has begged the surrender of a prisoner, on whom her life depends; and as this exactly agrees with what Master Flea has said, I can hardly doubt that all, which I would interpret into affection for me, is only a mean to subject me to her will. And yet to leave her!--to lose her!--that is hell! that is death!"

In these painful meditations he was disturbed by a modest knocking at his door, and the person who entered was no other than his lodger. The ancient Mr. Swammer, at other times a shrivelled, misanthropic, grumbling man, seemed suddenly to have become twenty years younger. His forehead was smooth, his eye animated, his mouth friendly: instead of the odious black periwig he wore his natural silver hair; and in the place of the dark gray upper-coat, he had on a sable, such as Aline had before described him. With a cheerful and even friendly mien, by no means usual with him, he came up to Peregrine, protesting, that he did not wish to disturb his dear host in any occupation, but his duty as a lodger required that he should the first thing in the morning inform his landlord he had been under the necessity of giving refuge to a helpless damsel, who sought to escape from the tyranny of a cruel uncle, and would, therefore, pass some time in the house. For this he needed the permission of his kind host, which he now requested.

Involuntarily Peregrine inquired who the lady was, without reflecting that this in fact was the best question he could ask to get a clue to the strange mystery.

"It is just and proper," replied Swammer, "that the landlord should know whom he is lodging in his house. Learn then, my respected Mr. Tyss, that the damsel, who has taken refuge with me, is no other than the fair Hollandress, Dörtje Elverdink, niece of the celebrated Leuwenhock, who, as you know, gives here the wonderful microscopic exhibitions. Leuwenhock was once my friend, but I must acknowledge that he is a hard man, and uses my god-daughter cruelly. A violent affair, which took place yesterday, compelled the maiden to flight, and it seems natural enough that she should seek help and refuge with me."

"Dörtje Elverdink!" said Peregrine, half dreaming;--"Leuwenhock!--perhaps a descendant of the naturalist, Antony Leuwenhock, who made the celebrated microscopes."

"That our Leuwenhock," replied Swammer, smiling, "is a descendant of that celebrated man, I cannot exactly say, seeing that he is the celebrated man himself; and it is a mere fable that he was buried about two hundred years ago at Delft. Believe it, my dear Mr. Tyss, or else you might doubt that I am the renowned Swammerdamm, although, for the sake of shortness and that I may not have to answer the questions of every curious blockhead, I call myself Swammer. Every one maintains that I died in the year 1680, but you see, Mr. Tyss, that I stand before you alive and hearty; and that I am really I, I can prove even to the dullest, from my Biblia Naturæ. You believe me, my worthy Mr. Tyss?"

"Since a short time--" said Mr. Tyss, in a tone that showed his mental perplexity, "since a short time I have experienced so many wonders, that I should be in perpetual doubt, if the whole had not been a manifest subject of the senses. But now I believe every thing, however wild and fantastic. It may be that you are the dead John Swammerdamm, and, therefore, as a dead-alive, know more than other common men; but as to the flight of Dörtje Elverdink, or the Princess Gamaheh, or however else the lady may be called, you are in a monstrous error. Hear how the matter really happened."

Peregrine now related, quite calmly, the adventure he had with the lady, her entrance into Lemmerhirt's room, up to her reception with Mr. Swammer, who, when he had done, replied, "It seems to me, as if all, that you have been pleased to relate, were nothing more than a singular, yet very pleasant, dream. I will, however, let that be, and request your friendship, which perhaps I may have much need of. Forget my morose conduct, and let us be more intimate. Your father was a shrewd man and my good friend, but in regard to science, depth of understanding, mature judgment, and practiced insight into life, the son goes before the father. You know not how much I esteem you, my worthy Mr. Tyss."

"Now is the time!" whispered Master Flea, and in the same moment Peregrine felt a slight passing pain in the pupil of his left eye. He knew that Master Flea had placed the microscopic glass in his eye, but he had not before had the slightest idea of its effects. Behind the tunicle of Swammer's eyes he perceived strange nerves and branches, the perplexed course of which he traced deep into the forehead, and could perceive that they were Swammer's thoughts. They ran much in this way;--"I did not expect to get off so easily here, without being better questioned. If papa was an ignoramus, of whom I never thought any thing, the son is still worse, with a greater infusion of childishness. With the simplicity of an idiot, he tells me the whole adventure with the Princess, not seeing that she must have already told me all, as my behaviour to her of necessity presupposes an earlier intimacy. But there is no help for it; I must speak him fair, because I want his help. He is simple enough to believe all I say, and, in his stupid good-nature, to make many a sacrifice to my interest, for which he will reap no other thanks than that, when all is over, and Gamaheh mine again, I shall laugh soundly at him behind his back."

"It seemed to me," said Swammer, coming close to Peregrine, "it seemed to me, my dear Mr. Tyss, as if a flea were on your collar."

The thoughts ran thus:--"The deuce! that was, indeed, Master Flea! It would be a queer piece of business if Gamaheh should be right after all."

Peregrine stepped nimbly back, protesting that he had no dislike to fleas.

"Then," replied Swammer, with a profound bow, "then for the present I most respectfully take my leave, my dear Mr. Tyss."

The thoughts ran thus:--"I wish the blackwinged devil had you, idiot!"

Master Flea took the microscopic glass out of the eye of the astonished Peregrine, and then said, "You have now, my dear sir, experienced the wonderful effects of the glass, which has not its equal in the world, and must perceive what a superiority it gives you over men, by laying open before your eyes their inmost thoughts. But, if you were to use it constantly, the perpetual knowledge of their real sentiments would overwhelm you, for the bitter vexation, which you have just now experienced, would be too often repeated. I will always be with you when you leave your house, sitting either in your collar, or in some convenient place, and if you wish to learn the thoughts of him who is conversing with you, you have only to snap your fingers, and the glass will be in your eye immediately."

Peregrine, seeing the manifest advantages of such a gift, was about to pour out the warmest thanks, when two deputies from the council entered, and announced to him that