36 days later by Katerina Rose (read my book TXT) 📕

at me and smiled.

"what?"

"Your so logical" He said.

I couldn't tell how drunk he was right now.

"Well thats me, logical"

"don't you ever just want to let go?"

I shook my head "Lets just get you to bed"

He stood up a little wobbly. "You never let go" he went to the bedroom.

Something about his comment, resounded in my head. Is that all I am? My own joy killer? I was in love with this man. We never work out, but why cant I allow myself this one time to feel everything I want to feel? Why do I always have to say no?

I followed him into the bed room.  He was laying down on his back.   I stood at the door "You think Im too logical?"

He nodded and smiled.

I unbuttoned my pants and slid them off at the door. It was just me and my bra and panties standing in front of him.

He smiled again. "What are you doing?"

I half wondered if he wasn't as drunk now. It had been a while since his last drink, maybe it was wearing off. Maybe this was a bad idea. 

Maybe I didn't care enough.

I started towards the bed. I slid on top of him and unbuttoned his jeans. Slid them off. Slid my hands all over him.  He grabbed me. Pulled my mouth to his and I felt the passion flow through him.

Everything I had wanted secretly had happened..... and I was far too out of my mind to stop it from happening.

 

I awoke later, dead silence. lights turned off. I looked to my right, and he was curled up. a sheet over his lower back.  His skin looked amazing.  I just wondered if he would remember this at all. 

I rolled out of bed grabbed my robe off the closet door and went to the living room with a blanket. Maybe if I sleep in a different room we can avoid uncomfortable realizations in the morning.......

Maybe....

I know I needed to contemplate what I had done and how this was going to affect our ability to work together but all I wanted now was sleep

and maybe for right this second, not to regret the decision I had made to finally sleep with the man I was in love with.....

Maybe.... 

 

Chapter 16

When I awoke from the couch the next morning, Daniel was no where to be found. I got dressed and gathered my guitar and notebooks off the balcony of the apartment. 

I went ahead and took a shower to wash last nights mistake off of me.  I could hear Alex yelling in my ear, if he ever found out it would be an endless lecture about not dating your co workers.  Daniel and i were different, this wasnt a fly by night fling.  This was long awaited,  so why do I feel so awful about it? This wasn't how I wanted it.  Drunken sex and him gone in the morning.  This wasn't what I wanted at all.

I gathered my things and rushed to the studio to meet Alex, and Daniel to hopefully record the unfinished song we had.  Great, yet another mistake from last night. No finished music.

There would be no end to Alex wrath today.

I walked in and Daniel sat on the stool in the studio with the headphones on. Alex sat behind the guy at the booth, controlling the sound. I had never caught his name, guess I won't start now, that could be awkward? ...Oh you've been recording for us for a while now but im sorry i'm terribly rude not to have asked your name.   I'll ask alex later. 

"Good, your on time" Alex said,

"Yeah?"

"He had a piece he wanted to try out, he was early we thought we would see how it sounded"

I could hear it come through the speakers, the soft voice I loved hearing. The voice that made me fall in love with him all over again.  I wondered when he came out of the booth if he would remember anything about last night.  Maybe we could pretend it was all a bad dream and move on with our lives, and oh yea, never ever tell Alex.

The song wrapped and Daniel put his headphones down and came out. 

"Hey, what did you think?" he asked.

"It was good" I spoke.  Awkward glances oozed out of me. Its moments like this I cant remember what to do with my hands or face for that matter.

Daniel half smiled, he could sense the awkward.  Did he know why I was like this??? Maybe he remembers. Oh God, he remembers.

Alex spoke to break my thoughts "Ok so good, let me hear what you guys were working on last night" He smiled

For that to happen you would have to listen to the sound of us getting drunk, and a few moans and groans.  nope, not something I need him to hear....

"We hadn't finished it but we can play what we have so far" I spoke

"I pieced it together this morning" Daniel said, "I can show it to you.... if they can give us a second"  He looked at Alex

"Okay, we will turn the sound off, just motion when your ready"  he said.

We walked into the booth and shut the door.

"You finished it?" I asked "when?"

"last night"

"we were ---"

"After that,"

"Wait....what?"

"You slept on the couch and I finished the song"  He sat down.

"So, wait, you remember..."

He nodded and opened the notebook.

"And....?"

"Should there be an And at the end of that sentence?" He half smiled at me.

"I dont understand...."

"What is it I can enlighten you with" He replied

"You remember everything..."

"I dont think I was as wasted as you thought I was"

Im sure I turned 5 shades of red.

"Look, we can talk about that later,.... if we need to but alex is going to want to hear this in a second"

I nodded....  befuddled.

"I took a little creative liberty"  he opened the notebook and quickly taught me the line he wrote in for the chorus.  

Of course it had a hook.  His music was brilliant.

"You got it?"  Daniel looked at me, "Im going to tell alex, if you get lost just follow my lead...I'll give you the notebook"

"Ok?"

He grabbed a guitar... and motioned for Alex.

They turned up the sound and we were off... I followed his lead on the song, it was of course brilliant, why woudln't it be.  Everything he did was brilliant music wise. There hadnt been a moment we were singing together that I ever regretted... just everything else we did together.  

 

The session wrapped and Alex dismissed us with more homework.  We needed more songs by the end of the weekend, we were trying to cut an album in the next month and the record lable was being pushy. There was already talk of a tour. 

 

I followed Daniel out to the car and pushed his door closed as he opened it.

"Are we going to ignore the awkward?" I asked.

He smiled.  "Isn't that what you were doing in there?"

"In front of alex"

"He's still inside Cass,"

"So we are just not going to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Last night"

He took a step back and smiled at me, "What do we need to talk about my dear"

I sighed, He called me by endearing nick names when he was making fun of me.

"I---I don't know"

"Okay then, can I go home?"

"N---yeah? I guess?"     I was confused.   I stepped away from his door.

He opened it and got in.

I went to my car and sighed. So what exactly were we then? Friends with benefits??

He was already gone.

I went back to my apartment.

Went upstairs still be fuddled.

I came up to my hall, turned the corner and Daniel stood leaning against my door.

"hi?"

"Hi" He smiled.  He moved so I could unlock my door, and he followed me inside shutting the door behind him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, and put my purse and keys on the bar.

"Homework I thought"  I could hear a smile in his voice.

"Oh,"  I turned around to face him.

He kept walking towards me. "I think we should hurry up and get to the homework don't you?" he smiled and grabbed me by the bottom of my shirt, slipping it off me with little effort.  

"I guess----"  I was already enamoured.  

He looks at me and I cant think.  This was no way to get answers...

He slipped his hands down to my jeans and unbuttoned them and backed me into the wall outside my bed room.

"Daniel---"

"You know the problem with you"   He smiled,  Lips close enough to feel his breath.  "You're impatient"  He slipped his shirt off.... 

"Oh?" I half smiled.

"And you talk too much...."     He pushed my jeans down

"I talk too much?" I responded,...

He pushed me farther into the wall and kissed my forehead.  His hands were on my waist.

"And you worry too much"   He kissed my cheeks....

"I have to worry this much because you don't worry at all"  I replied. 

He kissed my lips.  They were soft and smoothe.

"And you never tell me the truth"  He said and grabbed my hands, placing them on either side of his waist.

"What do you want me to tell you?"  I looked up at him.

"What exactly it is you want...."

He slipped his hands behind my back and tried to unlatch my bra.  

I slipped out from the wall and went into my room.

He followed.

"You want to know what I want?" ..."I don't think you can handle what I want"  

We stood in front of the bed,.... I unlatched his belt, pulled it out from his jeans and let it hit the floor.

"Tell me what you want cassie" He smiled, and kissed my forehead.

"This.....  Every day.....  Every second..... Just you and me.....and music"

He half laughed, and grabbed my hands...

Silence came over us

"You never respond when I tell you what I want" I said.

He pushed me back on the bed and laid over me.  "Because you've never told me what you've wanted"

He pushed the hair out of my face and kissed me. 

"So whats your response now"  I asked.  "Because I'm impatient as you've told me already" 

He smiled.  "Will you marry me?"

I froze.

I sat up on my elbows and he got off the bed. 

"What?"

"Will you marry me Cassie?"   He pulled a ring from his pocket, no box, and held it up to me.

"You---.....this-----....."

Daniel stood there,... waiting.

Everything in me wanted to say yes, but everything in me felt like we werent ready for this. we had just started this back, why couldnt we date first!? Maybe this isnt right?!

"Cassie---" He spoke again  "Stop thinking, and over analyzing....   Do you love me?" 

"Yes"

"Then don't think----"

He put the ring on my finger and part of me wanted to run and the other part of me couldn't be happier. 

I smiled.   "Yes" 

He kissed me and rolled me over.....

 

Something in my head was going off.... an alarm, or maybe it was birds,  I don't know. I almost remember hearing an "oh Shit" comming from somewhere....  but I guess this is a leap of faith.  

                                    And I don't know if this is a good idea......