American library books Β» Fiction Β» War and Peace by graf Leo Tolstoy (latest ebook reader .TXT) πŸ“•

Read book online Β«War and Peace by graf Leo Tolstoy (latest ebook reader .TXT) πŸ“•Β».   Author   -   graf Leo Tolstoy



1 ... 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 ... 456
Go to page:
Prince Andrew held her hands, looked into her eyes, and did not find in his heart his former love for her. Something in him had suddenly changed; there was no longer the former poetic and mystic charm of desire, but there was pity for her feminine and childish weakness, fear at her devotion and trustfulness, and an oppressive yet joyful sense of the duty that now bound him to her forever. The present feeling, though not so bright and poetic as the former, was stronger and more serious.

β€œDid your mother tell you that it cannot be for a year?” asked Prince Andrew, still looking into her eyes.

β€œIs it possible that Iβ€”the β€˜chit of a girl,’ as everybody called me,” thought NatΓ‘shaβ€”β€œis it possible that I am now to be the wife and the equal of this strange, dear, clever man whom even my father looks up to? Can it be true? Can it be true that there can be no more playing with life, that now I am grown up, that on me now lies a responsibility for my every word and deed? Yes, but what did he ask me?”

β€œNo,” she replied, but she had not understood his question.

β€œForgive me!” he said. β€œBut you are so young, and I have already been through so much in life. I am afraid for you, you do not yet know yourself.”

NatΓ‘sha listened with concentrated attention, trying but failing to take in the meaning of his words.

β€œHard as this year which delays my happiness will be,” continued Prince Andrew, β€œit will give you time to be sure of yourself. I ask you to make me happy in a year, but you are free: our engagement shall remain a secret, and should you find that you do not love me, or should you come to love...” said Prince Andrew with an unnatural smile.

β€œWhy do you say that?” NatΓ‘sha interrupted him. β€œYou know that from the very day you first came to OtrΓ‘dnoe I have loved you,” she cried, quite convinced that she spoke the truth.

β€œIn a year you will learn to know yourself....”

β€œA whole year!” NatΓ‘sha repeated suddenly, only now realizing that the marriage was to be postponed for a year. β€œBut why a year? Why a year?...”

Prince Andrew began to explain to her the reasons for this delay. NatΓ‘sha did not hear him.

β€œAnd can’t it be helped?” she asked. Prince Andrew did not reply, but his face expressed the impossibility of altering that decision.

β€œIt’s awful! Oh, it’s awful! awful!” NatΓ‘sha suddenly cried, and again burst into sobs. β€œI shall die, waiting a year: it’s impossible, it’s awful!” She looked into her lover’s face and saw in it a look of commiseration and perplexity.

β€œNo, no! I’ll do anything!” she said, suddenly checking her tears. β€œI am so happy.”

The father and mother came into the room and gave the betrothed couple their blessing.

From that day Prince Andrew began to frequent the RostΓ³vs’ as NatΓ‘sha’s affianced lover.

CHAPTER XXIV

No betrothal ceremony took place and NatΓ‘sha’s engagement to BolkΓ³nski was not announced; Prince Andrew insisted on that. He said that as he was responsible for the delay he ought to bear the whole burden of it; that he had given his word and bound himself forever, but that he did not wish to bind NatΓ‘sha and gave her perfect freedom. If after six months she felt that she did not love him she would have full right to reject him. Naturally neither NatΓ‘sha nor her parents wished to hear of this, but Prince Andrew was firm. He came every day to the RostΓ³vs’, but did not behave to NatΓ‘sha as an affianced lover: he did not use the familiar thou, but said you to her, and kissed only her hand. After their engagement, quite different, intimate, and natural relations sprang up between them. It was as if they had not known each other till now. Both liked to recall how they had regarded each other when as yet they were nothing to one another; they felt themselves now quite different beings: then they were artificial, now natural and sincere. At first the family felt some constraint in intercourse with Prince Andrew; he seemed a man from another world, and for a long time NatΓ‘sha trained the family to get used to him, proudly assuring them all that he only appeared to be different, but was really just like all of them, and that she was not afraid of him and no one else ought to be. After a few days they grew accustomed to him, and without restraint in his presence pursued their usual way of life, in which he took his part. He could talk about rural economy with the count, fashions with the countess and NatΓ‘sha, and about albums and fancywork with SΓ³nya. Sometimes the household both among themselves and in his presence expressed their wonder at how it had all happened, and at the evident omens there had been of it: Prince Andrew’s coming to OtrΓ‘dnoe and their coming to Petersburg, and the likeness between NatΓ‘sha and Prince Andrew which her nurse had noticed on his first visit, and Andrew’s encounter with Nicholas in 1805, and many other incidents betokening that it had to be.

In the house that poetic dullness and quiet reigned which always accompanies the presence of a betrothed couple. Often when all sitting together everyone kept silent. Sometimes the others would get up and go away and the couple, left alone, still remained silent. They rarely spoke of their future life. Prince Andrew was afraid and ashamed to speak of it. NatΓ‘sha shared this as she did all his feelings, which she constantly divined. Once she began questioning him about his son. Prince Andrew blushed, as he often did nowβ€”NatΓ‘sha particularly liked it in himβ€”and said that his son would not live with them.

β€œWhy not?” asked NatΓ‘sha in a frightened tone.

β€œI cannot take him away from his grandfather, and besides...”

β€œHow I should have loved him!” said NatΓ‘sha, immediately guessing his thought; β€œbut I know you wish to avoid any pretext for finding fault with us.”

Sometimes the old count would come up, kiss Prince Andrew, and ask his advice about PΓ©tya’s education or Nicholas’ service. The old countess sighed as she looked at them; SΓ³nya was always getting frightened lest she should be in the way and tried to find excuses for leaving them alone, even when they did not wish it. When Prince Andrew spoke (he could tell a story very well), NatΓ‘sha listened to him with pride; when she spoke she noticed with fear and joy that he gazed attentively and scrutinizingly at her. She asked herself in perplexity: β€œWhat does he look for in me? He is trying to discover something by looking at me! What if what he seeks in me is not there?” Sometimes she fell into one of the mad, merry moods characteristic of her, and then she particularly loved to hear and see how Prince Andrew laughed. He seldom laughed, but when he did he abandoned himself entirely to his laughter, and after such a laugh she always felt nearer to him. NatΓ‘sha would have been completely happy if the thought of the separation awaiting her and drawing near had not terrified her, just as the mere thought of it made him turn pale and cold.

On the eve of his departure from Petersburg Prince Andrew brought with him Pierre, who had not been to the

1 ... 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 ... 456
Go to page:

Free e-book: Β«War and Peace by graf Leo Tolstoy (latest ebook reader .TXT) πŸ“•Β»   -   read online now on website american library books (americanlibrarybooks.com)

Comments (0)

There are no comments yet. You can be the first!
Add a comment