34 by S. G. Ricketts (best life changing books TXT) 📕

/> Why is he a liar? He was my only friend. Even the walls hate me. He listens to me tell him things. He listened listens when I tell him about the queen. When I tell him that she died of a spider bite, he doesn’t laugh. I hear the walls laugh behind their eyes. But it’s TRUE!


TRUE TRUE
TRUE TRUE
TRUE
TRUE TRUE
TRUE TRUE

Stupid rabbit. Now I have to kill him, too. He’s telling my secrets. What friend does that? A crazy friend. I’ll paint his teeth black and his nails pink, and I’ll feed him to the wall for that.


Annie, Annie sat on her fanny eating curds and whey. Along came a spider and sat down beside her and buried miss annie away.


The bunny sits in my corner. He watches them come in. I just want to wri


They don’t like my writing. The clowns keep filling my belly with blue fire. I watch them, with their LONG clear claws. Their claws hurt like a spider bite. Why are they biting me? My belly hurts from the fire. No, not my belly. My head. Why are bellies and head the same? They both get bellyaches.

The bunny has a new friend. I can’t kill him now. He comes ever day and sits in the empty corner, just watching me. He’s here now, watching me write. My worms hurt on the ends of my hands and his eyes make them hurt worse. Why won’t he go away…

He’s not a clown. I know the clowns. He is different. Ugly in a pretty way. I wouldn’t mind the bunny’s new friend, but he doesn’t talk and his eyes are fire. The walls whisper to him. Please don’t tell him my secret. I didn’t mean to bite her. I didn’t mean to bury her. It was an accident. I will kill the walls and the bunny, and the pretty ugly will go away with his fire eyes.


Annie, annie, sat on her fanny puking curds and whey. Along came a spider and burned miss annie away.


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I know how to kill the bunny and the clown who’s not a clown. I know how. Only one clown came today. His trees were black and there was a branch on the top. The branch is nice and heavy, like a noodle. They took him away with blue fire in his belly and his claw in his tree trunk neck. I’m tired of spider bites. Now he has it in his belly.

Or was it his head? The queen I don’t care. He screamed a pretty serenade, and I eat my toast and mud and worms in peace. Maybe the walls will tell me a secret tonight. Maybe I will listen. But tomorrow, the bunny and the fire eyes will die. The branch tells me so.

Three days. I counted this time. They bring me peanut butter toast and chicken noodle soup for breakfast and lunch, and at dinner I get tea. The whispers still plague me, but I remembered the pills and poured the tea down the drain. I’m not sure what they expect to get out of me. These crazy ramblings make no sense, and this is the first time I’ve been sane in God knows how long.

My fingers are stiff but healing. As long as I don’t bend my middle finger, I can write all right. When I first woke up, I reset it, and breakfast and lunch were cold when I woke up. I let the roaches have it. They were more hungry than I was.

I don’t remember how I got here, and I don’t know who I am. The walls have Arabic and English and French scrawled across them, but that tells me nothing. “La fin est proche.” “The end is coming.” “Saignet et meurent, ou vous serez obliés.” That one is harder. I think it is “Bleed and die, or be forgotten.” The Arabic looks strange:
مرحبا بكم في الجحيم

Where am I?

The door is ope

THEY SHOT ME! THE QUEEN WAS SHOT AND THE BUNNY LAUGHED! i will kill them all, just like i killed alice and the spider killed annie. i will fly to the sky and pour their poo water over fire eyes’ head and pray he goes crazy too. the walls, they whisper to me that the claws are the blue fire and the clowns hold the key. the clowns make me crazy, so crazy
crazy
crazy
crazy crazy crazy.

i will kill them all. kill all of them with my branch. i will knead their dough faces into the blood on the sky and the walls can whisper about killing the bunny. i will be crazy. crazycrazycrazycrazy


annie annie sat on her fanny eating her curds and whey. along came a spider who sat down beside her and she beat the bitch away.


one, two, three billion and twenty nine. three dead all bashed in the head. blue fire green fire red fire gray. i’m funnier than the clowns who ran away!

old fire eyes is dead in the corner, his smile exploding across his face. does he like the queen my show? does he like it? maybe he is a friend. the walls and their eyes watch loudly. three dead ALL BASHED IN THE HEAD and I’ve got a pretty cannon, too. one two buckle my shoe. two more next to the branch under my bed of a thousand mattresses. see alice, annie really is a queen? i feel the trees under a thousand mattresses.


BANG BANG BANG

i love my black bricks. another clown is gone screaming. he door is pretty, cinnamon red. does it like its new paint? the bunny dips his nails in the paint and smiles. my friend is back, and the door can’t tell jokes with red paint on its face. trees and branches and fire and wings

WHERE ARE MY WINGS howcaniflyawaywithoutmywings

i won’t be like ICARUS i swear i just want to get away the walls tell me its hell and i just want to fly can i fly into the sky please i wont go near the sun where are my WINGS I AM THE QUEEN


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crazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazycrazy


Did you know that I’m crazy? The wall shot me today, just when I started to build my wings. I didn’t know the wall had arms. Did you? The bunny laughed and I shot him. The fire burns. My head has a belly and my belly is full of worms. So crazy…

They came back after they shot me. The fire burned through my fingers and my nose, and they stood at the door, who looks like a princess in red. The door is my princess and I am the queen.

Who is Annie Bordoski? I am Anne Bordeaux.
Where is Annie Bordoski? Dead and burning and puking and choking
Who killed Anni Bordoski? I killed her.
Why? She was crazy. Did you know the queen was crazy? We can’t have crazy queens. I killed her but the spider got to her first.
Who do you work for? The spider told me that I work for the bunny, but the walls say I work for fire eyes.
How old are you?

I don’t have a tongue. Don’t they know I can’t answer if I have no tongue? One clown has no more face. My branch kneaded his face when he got near my wings. It should make a very pretty cinnamon bread. The door has more paint. Hopefully it will stay quiet. I don’t like it laughing at me.


10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

1

That’s how many came to visit me today. He had a pretty air wall in front of him. I wanted it, but he wouldn’t let me have it. He wouldn’t let me see if he was a clown either. I just wanted to take off his mask. If Annie Anne had asked him, he would have let her see. I just wanted to see. Black is a bad color. Red is so much prettier, but my bricks are gone and my door has faded to brown. Brown is an ugly color. And it smells. It smells like roses and cinnamon and fire eyes. The bunny won’t look at me.

LOOK AT ME! I’M THE QUEEN! LOOK AT ME!


It’s ok. I’m saving him for lasties. My branch is still pretty and red, even if the almost clown didn’t let me paint it again. Instead, I dumped my poo water on him. Poo on you, poo on you. The queen says so, and the walls agree.

He looked nicer than the clowns, though. Maybe I won’t kill him. Or won’t kill him with the branch. The branch only likes bread and cinnamon and fire. No more blue fire. I need to work on my wings.


Annie annie sits on her fanny killing curds and whey. Along came a spider who sat down beside her and carried miss annie away.


They know
Ohgodtheyknow

How did they know? How did they know to look in the cracks? I am CRAZY but how did they know?

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how did they see the cracks?


Wings are pretty, even when noon is dark. I wonder if the queen will fly away to the cinnamon door where the walls don’t laugh at her.

The clowns don’t come anymore, and the poo water mixes pretty with the paint on the floor. They know that my branch is hungry. The almost clown comes again and I can’t get through his air wall. Why won’t he show me his face?

I AM THE FUCKING QUEEN! SHOW HIM MY FACE! I AM THE QUEEN!

He says 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 clowns are with fire eyes. 8 clowns have no more trees. I chopped them down and they can’t stand up any more. I broke their porcelain faces and chopped them down, and they won’t come see me anymore. He says I will build my wings for two more days, a noon and afternoon, and then I will leave my whispering walls and my bunny friend and my cinnamon painted door.

The walls screamed when he left and the bunny won’t look at me. Am I crazy? I want to go through the door.


The queen will survive. Annie Annie Annie on her fanny. I never knew the spider, but they the clowns think I did. Don’t they know that I’m crazy? crazy crazy crazy. So so crazy.

At least