Aboard My Train Of Thought by Scott C. Endsley (best book club books for discussion .TXT) 📕

aides this morning?" Edith winked at the old buzzard.

"Yes, as a matter of fact it just so happens I have my spectacles, my dear lady," he answered, glancing over his bifocals at her and then back down. "Oh! I'll say!..... The president's approval rating went up 5 percentage points overnight since his appearance last night on Barry King Live. Now, how do you suppose they know that? I mean, did they actually call everyone up in the middle of the night and ask what they think about our bloody president?! They seem to never get around to asking ME!... Oh No!" Giles gasped and rolled his eyes.

"What, Giles?....Tell me!"

"His blasted book has now sold three million copies," he sighed.

"Well, it's your fault, Mr. Endicotsley!" Edie smirked.

"And how do you come to that ridiculous conclusion, I ask you?" He lashed out at her unmercifully.

"Well, had it not been for you buying one, he would have only sold two million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand and...."

"Bah!!!!" Giles interrupted, "Wheel me to my radio room!!!!"

Professor Endicotsley was a man of many hobbies and interests. One of them was his love for amateur radio. Since he had been licensed as a ham operator in 1937, he had acquired many friendships over the airwaves. Saturday morning was his usual day for schedules with a certain lifelong friend he'd met with in his native Scotland.

He tuned up his transceiver on the usual frequency, 14.185 Mhz, then rotated his huge six-element quad antenna on a 80 foot tower, to the northeast and called his good friend Dave:
"GX9OTT....GX9OTT.....This is KE5SM, Kilo Echo 5 Sugar Mexico, calling on schedule......Are you there, Dave? Over..."

"Aye, Giles! You old bloody goat. What be up with ya this morning? George Xray 9 Oscar Tango Tango, back to you ol' boy," Dave acknowledged.

"Ah me friend from afar, just been burdened with more years than I've ever asked for, that's all. Edie sends her love. The WX here in Santa Barbara this morning is a bit breezy and cold, had some rain the day before yesterday, but I think we've seen the last of it for awhile....What's it like in Edinburgh this afternoon?"

"Yeah, ok.... KE5SM, this is GM9OTT..... Ok Giles, well, nice and sunny here. Nelda says hello, got Edie's letter yesterday and loved the recipe... Oh, I've gotta big surprize for ya old goat! It's coming up to the top of the hour and you'll never guess who I bumped into last week and have a schedule with this morning .... the President of your country, Mr. Hipwing himself!..... You knew he's a ham operator, didn't you? Over..."

Giles hesitated and growled a bit, "GX9OTT, this is KE5SM. Yeah, ok Dave....Well, I guess I'll, uh......stand by while you two carry on...uh...over..."

"Ok Giles, don't go away. It's a bit early, but he might be there anyway..... KA5HVO.... KA5HVO, King Alpha 5 Hotel Victor Ocean... Clyde, old boy, are you there? Over."

"Yes, good afternoon Dave, and good morning to you, Giles....Been listening to you two for awhile. Is my signal ok in Edinburgh this afternoon, Dave? This is KA5HVO" I answered in return.

"Ok Clyde. A good strong 5 and 8 here this afternoon! Say, you really told old Barry King off early this morning on his show... Did you watch that last night, Giles? KE5SM and the group, this is GX9OTT."

Giles nearly knocked over his microphone just to get to it. "Er Um...Yes, um....ok gentlemen, yes, I saw the... uh... interview. Hello, Mr. President....Yeah, you really socked it to him.... Sir.... You and myself have something in common, Sir.... See, my mum's last name was Hipwing, and well.... You being a Hipwing, well... um... I thought maybe I might be related to you and all, Sir... uh... over," Giles stuttered as red as a beet, and acted as if he had swallowed the biggest pill ever prescribed.

"Why, that's great, Giles!" I replied. "Hope we can become great friends over the years... Say, I've got a buddy of mine here in the radio shack, Ralph, you know, the guy in my first book... he's been listening to us for awhile, patiently, I might add. I believe I'm gonna bow out of here for now, but, Giles, hope to hear from you next weekend. so with that, I'll turn it back over to you.... KE5SM, this is KA5HVO going QRT after your final transmission."

Giles was overwhelmed. He'd actually been befriended by The President of The United States! Edie was going to flip!!! "Yes, all right, Mr. President, Sir, good talking to you and I'll definitely be here next weekend!....Oh! By the way, Sir, really thought the book was smashing, er um, great, Sir!!! Until next week my very good friend...OH, and, see YOU next weekend too Dave. I believe I'm going to back out of here too, so Dave, you rap it up, old man. Give my love to Nelda, bye for now! KA5HVO signed, this is KE5SM, over to GX9OTT for your final. Good day, gentlemen!"

Giles didn't even wait to hear Dave's final transmission. He turned off his radio, and because of his excitement, had no trouble wheeling himself to the kitchen, where Edith was preparing lunch.

"Did you have a nice chat with Dave?....Did Nelda get my letter?" She smiled while preparing the King's feast.

"Edie! You're not going to believe this, but I actually talked with The President of the United States!"

"That's nice," she sighed in disbelief, "and what did he have to say?"

"No, no, no, Edie, on the radio! He's a ham! Er ah ooh... he knows Dave," Giles stuttered.
"Are you sure, Giles?"

"I'm telling the bloody truth, Edie, and NO, I'm not having a senility attack!!! If you don't believe me, I have a schedule with the ol' boy next weekend!" Giles sat up in his wheelchair.

"Ok, I believe you, but.... I thought you didn't much care for him."

"Well, I was a bit cautious at first. You can't be too gullible about your leaders, ya know, you've got to be objectionable about these things, but after a query into the man's character, I see no reason as to why I shouldn't accept him into the fold of my many friends...... Oh," Giles inquisitively salivated, "by the way, what's for lunch?"

"Crow! My dear Giles, Crow!!!"
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(Episode 5)
Back at the White House as Ralph sipped his lemonade while laxly purched on top of the presidential desk, I was nervously pacing back and forth, spilling my woes like a busted water pipe. "I just don't know, Ralph. It's more than I ever bargained for. People fighting and killing each other over petty politics..."

"Yeah, it's bad, man. seems like it wasn't so bad before you took up writing," Ralph nodded.

"I just wish I could bring this country together, Ralph," I sighed. 'If only I could bring the Right and the Left to the center.... Good Godfrey! I never believed I'd see the day when I'd become a centrist!"

Ralph took a big gulp and then studied the design of the glass up to the light. "Yeah man, you blew your chances of getting everyone's support last night on TV. If it had been me, man, I'd a told it like it is, see.....wouldn't have been no compromise. See what I'm sayin?"

"No, Ralph, maybe that's just what we need ---a little compromise. Maybe I need to choose a Vice President with liberal views... that would show the people I'm inclusive and not partisan. I need to display the spirit of togetherness to the American people!!!" I hinted, landing my hand on Ralph's shoulder.

"Hey, wait a minute, man!!!"

"No Ralph, listen!" I pushed him back down to where he was sitting. "A white conservative and a black liberal bringing the country back together again!!"

"Yeah, now wouldn't that just be purdy?" Ralph rolled his eyes, "I ain't gonna be your token gesture of good will, you right wing pompous tightwad opportunist!"

"Oh yeah?! Well, yer, yer, yer just a no good pinko bleeding heart compassion fashion fascist, that's what YOU are!"

With that, Ralph didn't say anything else, but pried lose President Nixon's one time pet (now stuffed) dog Checkers, previously bolted to the floor, and hurled him violently over my head. I retaliated swiftly by grabbing a bottle of Planter's Peanuts, left over from the Carter administration, and returned fire, putting a hole in the wall. Thereupon Ralph went to the coat closet and picked up a thirty pound box of Depends, left over from the Reagan Revolution, and held it over my head with a gloating smile of triumph. "Hey Ralph, stop a minute!" I demanded. "Where did you get that Reagan/Bush campaign button you're wearing on your lapel?"

".................................?!?!?!" Ralph alarmingly asked with his eyes.

"Made You Look!!!!" I rejoiced, and with that I pulled out from behind my back the famous coconut John F. Kennedy had used to carve an S.O.S message on, when he and his mates were shipwrecked in World War Two, and busted it over Ralph's fat belligerent head. (BONK!!!)

"Oh Shhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ralph, reeking of fermented coconut milk, cursed and moaned while getting up real slow... Then glanced over in my direction in delight as I was moaning in frustration and he gloated, "teach you to mess with me, man!"

"Don't you see how we're acting, Ralph? We're no different than anyone else!! If you don't wanna help, then I don't want your help!"

"Say, man," Ralph hesitantly began to apologize, "I.... now don't get all worked outta shape, brotha'...I.."

"Don't brotha' me, man!!!" I snapped back, slapping his hand off of my shoulder.

"I didn't know I meant that much to ya, Clyde. I thought you's just want'n to use me cause I'm black.... I don't have no experience runnin' a country!" Ralph offered as an apology.

"And you think I do?.... I just wrote a book... That's SOME credentials! And frankly, I wouldn't care if you were polk-a-dotted, bucktoothed, and had a begonia plant growing outta your ears..." I muttered, after blowing my nose on a rough draft of my upcoming State Of The Union Address.

"...Well heck, why not? If Ronald Reagan could make all those cheesy movies to later become President..."

"So, you'll do it?!?!"

"Yeah, I guess so. What the hell!" Ralph shrugged.

"You don't have any illegal immigrants working for you, do you?" I asked, as there came an urgent knock at the door. "What are you laughing at, Ralph? I'm serious!.....Yes, come in!"

"Mr. President, sorry to disturb you, sir, but the ambassador from Russia is here with an important communique!" the White House staffer alerted.

"Ok, thanks, send him in... Stick around, Ralph, this could be very important, and could require a second opinion....... Ah yes, Mr. Tizyakov, what brings you here today, sir?"

"Yes, Mr. President, I bring greetings from the President of the Commonwealth Of Independent States Of Russia. He wishes for me to read the following communique to you personally, sir," he nervously announced with urgency

"Yes, yes, go ahead, please," I nervously anticipated.
"Mr. President:

For many weeks now, I have been troubled. I have lost many precious hours of rest, lamenting over the circumstances regarding this communique. First let me say, Mr. President, our two countries have enjoyed several years of good relations with one another since the expulsion of the cold war and the mistrust it bred, and failure on my part in not bringing this matter to you sooner is inexcusable. Therefore, please accept my apologies