Great Expectations by Charles Dickens (speed reading book TXT) đź“•
"Now lookee here," he said, "the question being whether you're tobe let to live. You know what a file is?"
"Yes, sir."
"And you know what wittles is?"
"Yes, sir."
After each question he tilted me over a little more, so as to giveme a greater sense of helplessness and danger.
"You get me a file." He tilted me again. "And you get me wittles."He tilted me again. "You bring 'em both to me." He tilted me again."Or I'll have your heart and liver out." He tilted me again.
I was dreadfully frightened, and so giddy that I clung to him withboth hands, and said, "If you would kindly please to let me keepupright, sir, perhaps I shouldn't be sick, and perhaps I couldattend more."
He gave me a most tremendous dip and roll,
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- Author: Charles Dickens
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I shall hope to remove him when I fully come into my property, they
would hardly do him justice.”
“And don’t you think he knows that?” asked Biddy.
It was such a very provoking question (for it had never in the most
distant manner occurred to me), that I said, snappishly,—
“Biddy, what do you mean?”
Biddy, having rubbed the leaf to pieces between her hands,—and the
smell of a black-currant bush has ever since recalled to me that
evening in the little garden by the side of the lane,—said, “Have
you never considered that he may be proud?”
“Proud?” I repeated, with disdainful emphasis.
“O! there are many kinds of pride,” said Biddy, looking full at me
and shaking her head; “pride is not all of one kind—”
“Well? What are you stopping for?” said I.
“Not all of one kind,” resumed Biddy. “He may be too proud to let
any one take him out of a place that he is competent to fill, and
fills well and with respect. To tell you the truth, I think he is;
though it sounds bold in me to say so, for you must know him far
better than I do.”
“Now, Biddy,” said I, “I am very sorry to see this in you. I did
not expect to see this in you. You are envious, Biddy, and
grudging. You are dissatisfied on account of my rise in fortune,
and you can’t help showing it.”
“If you have the heart to think so,” returned Biddy, “say so. Say
so over and over again, if you have the heart to think so.”
“If you have the heart to be so, you mean, Biddy,” said I, in a
virtuous and superior tone; “don’t put it off upon me. I am very
sorry to see it, and it’s a—it’s a bad side of human nature. I
did intend to ask you to use any little opportunities you might
have after I was gone, of improving dear Joe. But after this I ask
you nothing. I am extremely sorry to see this in you, Biddy,” I
repeated. “It’s a—it’s a bad side of human nature.”
“Whether you scold me or approve of me,” returned poor Biddy, “you
may equally depend upon my trying to do all that lies in my power,
here, at all times. And whatever opinion you take away of me, shall
make no difference in my remembrance of you. Yet a gentleman should
not be unjust neither,” said Biddy, turning away her head.
I again warmly repeated that it was a bad side of human nature (in
which sentiment, waiving its application, I have since seen reason
to think I was right), and I walked down the little path away from
Biddy, and Biddy went into the house, and I went out at the garden
gate and took a dejected stroll until supper-time; again feeling it
very sorrowful and strange that this, the second night of my bright
fortunes, should be as lonely and unsatisfactory as the first.
But, morning once more brightened my view, and I extended my
clemency to Biddy, and we dropped the subject. Putting on the best
clothes I had, I went into town as early as I could hope to find
the shops open, and presented myself before Mr. Trabb, the tailor,
who was having his breakfast in the parlor behind his shop, and
who did not think it worth his while to come out to me, but called
me in to him.
“Well!” said Mr. Trabb, in a hail-fellow-well-met kind of way. “How
are you, and what can I do for you?”
Mr. Trabb had sliced his hot roll into three feather-beds, and was
slipping butter in between the blankets, and covering it up. He was
a prosperous old bachelor, and his open window looked into a
prosperous little garden and orchard, and there was a prosperous
iron safe let into the wall at the side of his fireplace, and I did
not doubt that heaps of his prosperity were put away in it in bags.
“Mr. Trabb,” said I, “it’s an unpleasant thing to have to mention,
because it looks like boasting; but I have come into a handsome
property.”
A change passed over Mr. Trabb. He forgot the butter in bed, got up
from the bedside, and wiped his fingers on the tablecloth,
exclaiming, “Lord bless my soul!”
“I am going up to my guardian in London,” said I, casually drawing
some guineas out of my pocket and looking at them; “and I want a
fashionable suit of clothes to go in. I wish to pay for them,” I
added—otherwise I thought he might only pretend to make them,
“with ready money.”
“My dear sir,” said Mr. Trabb, as he respectfully bent his body,
opened his arms, and took the liberty of touching me on the outside
of each elbow, “don’t hurt me by mentioning that. May I venture to
congratulate you? Would you do me the favor of stepping into the
shop?”
Mr. Trabb’s boy was the most audacious boy in all that countryside.
When I had entered he was sweeping the shop, and he had sweetened
his labors by sweeping over me. He was still sweeping when I came
out into the shop with Mr. Trabb, and he knocked the broom against
all possible corners and obstacles, to express (as I understood it)
equality with any blacksmith, alive or dead.
“Hold that noise,” said Mr. Trabb, with the greatest sternness, “or
I’ll knock your head off!—Do me the favor to be seated, sir. Now,
this,” said Mr. Trabb, taking down a roll of cloth, and tiding it
out in a flowing manner over the counter, preparatory to getting
his hand under it to show the gloss, “is a very sweet article. I
can recommend it for your purpose, sir, because it really is extra
super. But you shall see some others. Give me Number Four, you!”
(To the boy, and with a dreadfully severe stare; foreseeing the
danger of that miscreant’s brushing me with it, or making some
other sign of familiarity.)
Mr. Trabb never removed his stern eye from the boy until he had
deposited number four on the counter and was at a safe distance
again. Then he commanded him to bring number five, and number
eight. “And let me have none of your tricks here,” said Mr. Trabb,
“or you shall repent it, you young scoundrel, the longest day you
have to live.”
Mr. Trabb then bent over number four, and in a sort of deferential
confidence recommended it to me as a light article for summer wear,
an article much in vogue among the nobility and gentry, an article
that it would ever be an honor to him to reflect upon a
distinguished fellow-townsman’s (if he might claim me for a
fellow-townsman) having worn. “Are you bringing numbers five and
eight, you vagabond,” said Mr. Trabb to the boy after that, “or
shall I kick you out of the shop and bring them myself?”
I selected the materials for a suit, with the assistance of Mr.
Trabb’s judgment, and re-entered the parlor to be measured. For
although Mr. Trabb had my measure already, and had previously been
quite contented with it, he said apologetically that it “wouldn’t
do under existing circumstances, sir,—wouldn’t do at all.” So, Mr.
Trabb measured and calculated me in the parlor, as if I were an
estate and he the finest species of surveyor, and gave himself such
a world of trouble that I felt that no suit of clothes could
possibly remunerate him for his pains. When he had at last done and
had appointed to send the articles to Mr. Pumblechook’s on the
Thursday evening, he said, with his hand upon the parlor lock, “I
know, sir, that London gentlemen cannot be expected to patronize
local work, as a rule; but if you would give me a turn now and then
in the quality of a townsman, I should greatly esteem it. Good
morning, sir, much obliged.—Door!”
The last word was flung at the boy, who had not the least notion
what it meant. But I saw him collapse as his master rubbed me out
with his hands, and my first decided experience of the stupendous
power of money was, that it had morally laid upon his back
Trabb’s boy.
After this memorable event, I went to the hatter’s, and the
bootmaker’s, and the hosier’s, and felt rather like Mother
Hubbard’s dog whose outfit required the services of so many trades.
I also went to the coach-office and took my place for seven o’clock
on Saturday morning. It was not necessary to explain everywhere
that I had come into a handsome property; but whenever I said
anything to that effect, it followed that the officiating tradesman
ceased to have his attention diverted through the window by the
High Street, and concentrated his mind upon me. When I had ordered
everything I wanted, I directed my steps towards Pumblechook’s,
and, as I approached that gentleman’s place of business, I saw him
standing at his door.
He was waiting for me with great impatience. He had been out early
with the chaise-cart, and had called at the forge and heard the
news. He had prepared a collation for me in the Barnwell parlor,
and he too ordered his shopman to “come out of the gangway” as my
sacred person passed.
“My dear friend,” said Mr. Pumblechook, taking me by both hands,
when he and I and the collation were alone, “I give you joy of your
good fortune. Well deserved, well deserved!”
This was coming to the point, and I thought it a sensible way of
expressing himself.
“To think,” said Mr. Pumblechook, after snorting admiration at me
for some moments, “that I should have been the humble instrument of
leading up to this, is a proud reward.”
I begged Mr. Pumblechook to remember that nothing was to be ever
said or hinted, on that point.
“My dear young friend,” said Mr. Pumblechook; “if you will allow me
to call you so—”
I murmured “Certainly,” and Mr. Pumblechook took me by both hands
again, and communicated a movement to his waistcoat, which had an
emotional appearance, though it was rather low down, “My dear young
friend, rely upon my doing my little all in your absence, by
keeping the fact before the mind of Joseph.—Joseph!” said Mr.
Pumblechook, in the way of a compassionate adjuration. “Joseph!!
Joseph!!!” Thereupon he shook his head and tapped it, expressing
his sense of deficiency in Joseph.
“But my dear young friend,” said Mr. Pumblechook, “you must be
hungry, you must be exhausted. Be seated. Here is a chicken had
round from the Boar, here is a tongue had round from the Boar,
here’s one or two little things had round from the Boar, that I
hope you may not despise. But do I,” said Mr. Pumblechook, getting
up again the moment after he had sat down, “see afore me, him as I
ever sported with in his times of happy infancy? And may I—may
I—?”
This May I, meant might he shake hands? I consented, and he was
fervent, and then sat down again.
“Here is wine,” said Mr. Pumblechook. “Let us drink, Thanks to
Fortune, and may she ever pick out her favorites with equal
judgment! And yet I cannot,” said Mr. Pumblechook, getting up again,
“see afore me One—and likewise drink to One—without again
expressing—May I—may I—?”
I said he might, and he shook hands with me again, and emptied his
glass and turned it upside down. I did the same; and if I had
turned myself upside down before drinking, the wine could not have
gone more direct to my head.
Mr. Pumblechook helped me to the liver wing, and to the best slice
of tongue (none of those out-of-the-way No Thoroughfares of Pork
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